★☽★ Carpe Noctem ★☽★

Rock Apparently Factors Into Girlfriend’s Shower Routine

SEATTLE—Saying he was confused about the full extent of its purpose as well as its overall benefit, local man Jacob Ferris, 25, nonetheless surmised today that the oblong rock located in girlfriend Sarah Milstein’s shower caddy must somehow factor into her bathing routine, sources confirmed.

“I guess at some point while she’s showering, she rubs a rock on her body,” said Ferris, expressing what he claimed was “the only possible conclusion” about the light-gray rock in his girlfriend’s bathroom. “I mean, it looks sort of nice, so she could just have it there for decoration or something. But it’s usually right near all the other soaps and her loofah, so I think it’s probably something she actually uses while under the water.”

“I really don’t know how it all works,” Ferris added. “All I know is that in between Sarah getting into the shower and getting out, there’s a rock involved.”

Ferris, who said he was unable to determine exactly when in the showering process the rock first comes into play, told reporters he is equally clueless about what part of the body the rock is used on.

In addition, Ferris said he occasionally inspects the roughly 3-ounce object when he’s in Milstein’s shower, and told reporters that the rock is nearly always wet and is occasionally moved to slightly different spots within the bathtub, leading him to believe that his girlfriend uses it fairly regularly. He also noted his girlfriend’s bathing time never seems particularly longer than the average person’s considering she has added a rock into the mix.

Ferris added that all attempts to incorporate the rock into his own shower routine have ultimately been unsuccessful.

“I tried rubbing it on my skin once, and it hurt,” Ferris said, concluding that pouring soap and water directly onto the rock neither made it softer nor easier on his skin. “I could maybe see how it could get some dirt off of your body, but it seems too painful to work. Her skin usually looks nice though, so maybe I’m wrong.”

“There is a chance it could be a hair thing,” Ferris continued. “Maybe she rubs the rock in her hair? I don’t know.”

Ferris confirmed he has considered numerous reasons for why his girlfriend uses the rock in the shower, including that she has some type of skin condition, that the rock is some sort of weird tradition her family has, or that everyone uses rocks in the shower and he has been out of the loop the entire time.

“It could be for cleaning the bathtub,” said Ferris, adding he once suspected the rock was a device for making the bathroom smell nice, but then noticed it had no discernible smell whatsoever. “Like every few weekends she scrubs the tub with this rock? I guess I could see Sarah doing that.”

While Ferris said he is mostly certain that the rock was initially purchased at a home goods store of some kind, he was not able to completely rule out the possibility it was just a rock that his girlfriend found on the ground and decided to put in her shower.

“I wonder if I should put a rock in my shower for when she’s over here,” said Ferris, who said he once tried to locate a rock at a Bed Bath & Beyond, but left after not wanting to walk up to a sales clerk and ask them where they kept their “shower rocks.” “Or I could just tell her to leave a rock at my place if she wants.”

“I’m probably not going to do that,” Ferris added.

Bigger Math exam on Monday, presentation in Socio-Economics and smaller exam in Biology on Tuesday, smaller exam in Religion on Wednesday, smaller exam in Spanish on Thursday, seminar presentation on Friday and another bigger exam in Health Science on Saturday bc I missed the actual exam for that one…. Yeah, I am definitely going to die sometime next week.

This has literally been my College life since some time in November - and I totally can’t handle it anymore.

I gotta say: I wrote this post sometime end of January or beginning February 2019, and I was definitely right about the burnout part and the part about dying (and I also completely fucking ruined my immune system from the stress over a loooooong time without ever feeling like I am getting rewarded for doing so), but I was also definitely wrong about the degree part in May lmao aaaayyyyyy, gotta get that degree as a non-student now lol

I literally just want to go back in time to scream at myself to take care of my health.

Because apart from time, that is also something I will never get back now.

So in these times now, with already so many deaths worldwide because of this virus, I just want to tell you all that you should really, really take care of your health. Physically, as well as mentally.

a mutual of mine

suddenly has posts on their blog

with links to “find women to have sex with”

my mutual is NOT POSTING THESE

Tagged by @forever-rain-mp3 to make a chibi version of myself! Couldn’t find a red-brown color for my hair so I settled for red instead lol. Also, that’s my typical facial expression so…

fucks sake

Okay now which one is clearer? 1?

or 2?

In the beginning you'd need to get a bit familiar with it at first because it can be a little confusing, but it works sooo well once you've figured it out.

Have fun, anon! :) (the other ones in the screenshot are good apps for Android as well!) Well, that is, as long as you don't have an iPhone, otherwise ignore this and just use social dummy 😂

Funsta will look like this: (those are mine)

It's pretty good

DO NOT DO THIS.

This makes me so angry.

If you work in a movie theater and you do this I have no respect for you.

My younger brother is Type 1 Diabetic.

When we go to a movie theater, we always get him diet soda. If he were to get regular when we asked for diet, we would not give him the insulin he would need for it. If that happens, his blood sugar level could go so high he could go into a coma, go blind, or even die.

If somebody gave him regular soda instead of diet without telling us, that person could be responsible for a nine-year-old being killed or blinded.

Just thinking about that makes me so angry. I get scared every time we take him to a movie in case the people working there saw this picture and decide to do the same thing.

I am very sensitive to lactose, not Lactose intolerant but because of stomach ulcers that are still healing. A couple years ago I went to Starbucks right after my classes with some friends and asked for a green tea latte with soy milk. The barista, for some reason out of malice and/or hate for her life so she took it out on me, gave me whole milk in my latte.

5 minutes after my first sip of latte, my stomach cramped BAD. Not the “Oh! time to poop!” kind of cramp but it felt like someone had stabbed me with a knife and twisted it. Now I’ve had this happen before so I knew the cause of it. I went up to the barista clutching my gut screaming at her that she put dairy in my latte rather than soy LIKE I REQUESTED. She denied it and called me a “pretentious white girl for wanting soy”and so my friends got the manager. I had to explain that I had stomach ulcers that were still healing and if I were to go to the hospital for this incident, they would be responsible for it.

Manager flipped his shit and the barista was terrified out of her mind. Pretty sure both thought i was gonna sue. Manager actually fired her on the spot because of the negligence. My friends managed to get me home in one piece while I stayed home for 3 days in absolute agony and missed my midterm.

Last month I went out to dinner with a friend at an italian restaurant that had a small gluten free menu. I had been there once before and had their gluten free pasta and it was great! I think one of the managers had been there and was super helpful when taking my order to make sure that everything was gluten free for me. When I ordered the gluten free pasta again this time though, the waitress who took my order all but rolled her eyes at me. I didn’t think much of it at the time, because the restaurant was so accommodating before, I just assumed it would be the same this time.

But sure enough, they brought out my pasta, I ate it, and about an hour later I had extreme stomach pains and was throwing up (in a movie theater no less).

Barfing and agonizing pain aside, eating gluten when you have celiac causes a lot of internal damage that’s hard to notice. The biggest thing is that it damages your intestines, preventing your body from absorbing nutrients properly, which can take months to heal.

90% of people don’t take my cats and dog allergies seriously when I tell them I’m allergic and wondering if a cat or a dog is present at X place. They think it’s just watery eyes. Nope. Well yeah, watery and itchy eyes, but I start wo wheeze and have trouble breathing. They don’t give epi-pen for those (anyway you have to go to the hospital after) just inhaler. It’s no miracle, specially if I didn’t take other meds before.

I am always very clear and up front with wait staff (no cilantro - I am severely allergic) I ask questions if the menu is vague (are the empanadas made with beef or pork chorizo?) and I scrutinize my food to make sure it is safe to eat, but I still get dairy in my soy chai and actually had a waitress write “extra cilantro” on a kitchen ticket once. I had to send it back with the food runner and he showed me the ticket.

Why do that?! I’m terribly polite because I feel guilty for needing the special order but I do enjoy breathing and would like to continue doing it.

Milk or beef will cause medium distress and I admit that I’ll eat them in small amounts, on occasion, if I’m feeling up to it; apples or lettuce will cause intestinal bleeding so I strictly avoid them; but ingesting even the smallest amount of cilantro will swell my throat, lock my lungs making it almost impossible to breathe and give me aggressive full body hives. I can’t even get to close to it at the store without my heart racing wildly and my lungs tightening like a fist is wrapped around them.

All in all, I do accept the risk associated with eating things I didn’t prepare myself, but I will hold a grudge against any establishment that is staffed by asshats who *deliberately* poison me. I rarely allow a dish I send back to be replaced, never go back to a place that ignored my order and I’ll leave a review everywhere I can.

Giving me unwarned-for dairy will give me severe GI problems, and the inflammation from that will set off my autoimmune disease. (If I know about the dairy, I can ameliorate this by like 90+% easily, like for example I just ate some cheese but since I fed it to myself I took medication and it shouldn’t cause me any problems. So it’s sneak dairy when I ask for something else that’s the problem.) 

I’m medium-sensitive–not allergic–to the solvents used to create decaf and certain artificial sugars (like sweet and low and equal; splenda, not so much, but I still dislike due to classical conditioning from equal experiences).  It’s minor: cramping and extended bathroom use for a few hours and basically just annoying.  Which makes any diet sodas, decaf sodas, decaf coffee, and decaf black teas not recommended and kind of sucky and at worst, it makes me twitchy and nervous along with cramping and bathroom residence.

(I do get the irony that decaf and artificial sugars make me twitchy and nervous while caffeine and sugar calm me down. But it makes it easy for me to tell when I’m given the wrong thing, which by the way is almost never.)

It’s the hat trick of lucky sensitivities; none of these are likely to be given to me by accident ever (it happened once; all other experiences were my own damn fault or an unfortunate Lent sacrifice that taught me the value of not making stupid Lent sacrifices but probably made God laugh a lot).  I don’t have to ask for anything outside the norm of an order.

Which is why I pay attention to people’s allergies and food restrictions.  It’s habit now; even with people I know, even with friends, even with family, I double check before making them anything or feeding them anything.  Sure, I remember, but why take the risk I forget something minor or I didn’t know about some small thing related to it or just didn’t occur to me because I’m in a rush or I had no idea that item actually had a trace of this?  Who on earth wants to be responsible for hurting someone–or killing someone–just by ignorance, much less malice?

Not having allergies is a privilege; not worrying about being given the wrong thing and getting sick or dying is a privilege; not having to be aware every second you are in public around food or other allergens about exposure is one fuck of a privilege.

This little boy (he was like maximum 10 years old) came up to the counter with his mom, his first question being "is [ingredient] in your popcorn?" I was confused for a second and asked him why - he told me he was highly allergic to it and could die. As someone with seafood allergy (of which I also have some asshole waiter stories ☺️) I know how much it sucks and I told him honestly I didn't know the exact ingredients, so I rushed to find the folder and find the document for the popcorn. I didn't even just read it and tell him it was fine, that the ingredient was not in there, but instead I brought him the paper and let him read it for himself, so that he could assure himself that I wasn't one of those people who had fun messing with other's health like this and so that he had the assurance he'd be fine. And all was fine and the little boy walked away happily munching on his popcorn. The costumers behind him seemed slightly annoyed, but I didn't care about them at all in that moment.

Someone's well-being and safety is more important to me than those 20 seconds you had to wait longer, Karen.

Also, for the same reasons as listed above in earlier posts, I double check whether I heard the costumer say the right order for their drinks (especially if it's multiple ones). I repeat their order before putting the cups below the towers and I say "this is your diet coke and this one the regular one" when handing them, just to triple check.

I know it makes me look like I have the attention span of a goldfish, but I once actually accidentally would've given a regular coke to someone who NEEDED the diet coke if I hadn't done that.