Nothing good ever happens when the words “I’ve seen movies that start like this” are used, and yet here Jason is anyway.
Playing the role of bodyguard to Timothy Drake-Wayne, Wayne Enterprises CEO, as they head off to tour a research facility run by a newly acquired business partner.
“You did see Deep Blue Sea, right?” Jason asks.
Has to ask because, sure, it’s kind of a terrible movie. One so bad it comes back around to being good again in the most ridiculous way, but it’s also oddly relevant.
Tim sighs because Jason has a bad feeling about this, and it’s not just thanks to Hollywood.
“Yes, Jason,” he says, still focused on his laptop instead of Jason’s very valid concern that he and Tim are headed for a bad time.
Sure, the facility isn’t in the middle of the ocean, miles from land and all that, but.
It’s underground.
Just past the city limits of a small mountain town.
Miles from a major city, and Jesus Christ. If whatever the scientists and researchers are cooking up in their labs doesn’t get them, something (or someone) else just as horrific will.
(Jason’s seen the Friday the 13th movies, okay.)
“Look,” Jason says. “Just don’t come crying to me when whatever these assholes are up to breaks containment, and we wind up being chased by killer whatevers.”
Tim gives him a look.
This thing that’s part exasperation, part amusement, and far too fond for Jason’s peace of mind because killer whatevers.
Tim should fucking know better.
“Don’t worry,” he says, like an absolute moron. “I’m sure nothing could possibly go wrong.”
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When you see an article headline that sounds like it should be in a sci-fi original where something goes catastrophically wrong?
(Something something something scientists unearth ancient whatever in mass grave, microbes found frozen in antarctic ice, something found an Egyptian tomb, etc.)
And you're just sitting there like oh, this is how we get zombies and or genetically altered whatevers terrorizing a small town somewhere or running rampant in a research facility.
JayTim AU where itty bitty!Tim Drake falls asleep on the living room couch in the Drake penthouse after a movie marathon or some such and wakes up because he hears scritching/tapping at the window/balcony door.
And he's like.
He has this amazing little blanket fort he built, or just a blanket nest, but it's super comfy and he doesn't really want to get up to check what the noise is?
But then the window/balcony door opens, and Tim is like.
(Blustery fall weather, so maybe he didn't close the windoww/balcony door as well as he thought and it's the wind??? But then he hears what sounds like a voice, and the weather doesn't usually swear, and anyway.)
He pokes his head out of his blanket fort/nest and there's a kid?
Bigger than him, but not that much. And then the kid crosses into the light coming through another window and Tim realizes oh, because that's.
That's Catwoman's new sidekick/partner Tim's heard about - Gotham and gossip/rumor mill when he's out and about. Taking pictures at night, or just, y'know, around.
(Alvin Draper shenanigans and Tim poking his nose where he really shouldn't be when he's not keeping track of various Bats or helping around shelters and such.)
ANYWAY.
People have been calling Catwoman's kid Stray or Alley Cat because he's usually seen around Crime Alley, which.
Tim doesn't know what he's doing here, of all places, and then he's like.
Oh.
Oh, right.
His parents made a comment or something about their latest dig at a gala a few weeks ago.
Boasted about being invited to go on a dig with some archeology bigwig and how prestigious an honor it was for them and so on.
And.
There are a lot of valuables in the Drake penthouse.
The artifacts his parents probably shouldn't have, and usual jewels and such and usually they're more careful about things.
Don't essentially announce they'll be out of the city, the country, for however long where people will overhear, realize what a prime opportunity it would be to break into the penthouse and pilfer said artifacts and valuables and oh, no.
Because Stray or Alley Cat or whatever name he goes by has spotted Tim and Tim is in trouble, isn't he?
Tim knows Catwoman is...maybe not a hero like Batman and Robin or the other Gotham vigilantes, but she doesn't hurt innocents. Doesn't hurt kids.
She's been very nice to him the few times they've run into one another, either running rooftops or at a gala or other event, and surely Stray or Alley Cat or whoever operates by the same code, right?
Tim certainly hopes so, because there's not a lot near to hand he can use to defend himself that isn't priceless, fragile, or wouldn't get him in trouble. Projectiles, sure, but artifacts or expensive one of a kind lamps and artwork.
(Tim has a baseball bat his dad got for them to play with at a nearby park when his parents are home, but it's all the way in Tim's room. Basically useless with Stray/Alley Cat between Tim and there, and uh. Anyway.)
-
Jason just staring at this shrimp of a kid that shouldn't be in the penthouse - the Drakes are out of the damn country and didn't bring their kid?
And just.
~Unlikely friendship/Jason being Deeply Concerned about this little gremlin of a kid being left on his own for long periods of time while his parents are out gallivanting around the world digging up pottery shards or whatever?
Selina being Deeply Amused as Jason drags said kid back to their place or wherever complaining about his parents or some new Situation Tim got himself into.
Bruce and Dick being Very Tired and Deeply Amused by the whole thing as they chase after these kids who are having The Adventures, Gotham Style(TM) and just.
Shenanigans?
Also Bruce honestly considers retiring and moving to a farm upstate when Tim starts running around in goggles and a suit like Selina and Stray/Alley Cat because no, not him.
(Dick is bad enough. Jason is a nightmare. But Tim? Dear God.)
I feel like at some point in time there was either a little hula dancer Batman, and/or a bobblehead Batman stuck to the dashboard of the Batmobile.
Just because.
Jason or one of the other Batfam going on a snack run or whatever reason to a convenience store/??? and there's a display by the register with the absolute worst car accessories and it's like.
It's not like they can not not buy it, you know?
(Bonus points if they're on patrol/fully suited up at the time and the poor gas station/??? employee is like ??? because, yeah, why not.)
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Chapters: 1/1
Fandom: DCU, DCU (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Batman (Comics), Red Hood and the Outlaws (Comics)
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Characters: Jason Todd, Roy Harper, Dick Grayson, Tim Drake (DCU)
Additional Tags: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Shapeshifters, Werewolves, Animal Shifter Tim Drake (DCU)
Series: Part 21 of Cat's Eye, Part 17 of No Alibis
Summary:
It's like the start to a bad joke, Jason realizes, looking up when the door to his place opens.
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But shifter AU where Dick and Jason have the thing big dogs get where they don't realize they're too big for cuddles/snuggles like when they were itty bitty?
(Okay, to be fair they do? But Dick is a horrible gremlin, and Jason is an asshole, and anyway.)
Bruce gets smooshed.
Tim gets smooshed.
Damian gets smooshed.
The only one who doesn't get smooshed is Alfred, because Dick and Jason would never.
I love when people try to make their recipes/food sound gourmet/fancy/pretentious af because you get stuff "deconstructed wedge salad," which, you know is just a normal salad?
And the Justice League trying to keep up with him as he bumbles his way through solving/thwarting whatever case/Nefarious Plot he was involved in without accidentally revealing his sekrit identity to others.
(Possible added bonus of the JL not knowing who the Bats are, or only a select few know. Plus the Batfam in the background being like oh, lolol, this is going to be a disaster. >:D)
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