what if i beat you with a stick you creature

asking for praise for a thing you made feels so humiliating like oooh look at me I’m a little animal and I did a trick and made a thing can I have pets and treats about it. and then somebody tells you it’s good and you understand why golden retrievers are the way they are

funniest thing to ever happen was when my boyfriend put on the first episode of columbo (which i'd never seen) but he wouldn't tell me what show it was he would only say "you'll get it when he shows up." but a fun fact about the first episode of columbo is that he doesn't show up for 32 minutes and when he does, he silently walks into the room with a cigar and does a little pose and goes "hi i'm columbo."

when i get home from work every day the first thing i do is wander between my rooms and the kitchen saying "hi. hello" over and over again until it feels like i've sufficiently greeted the space. this is among the best parts of my day and i dont even realize im doing it

this is like the prisoner's dilemma of polls. the only way to get it right is if we ALL vote yes! and we trust each other to figure that out and vote yes! unfortunately, that will never happen

in 2026 i am wishing for all of us the energy of bilbo baggins, who was headhunted for an extremely well paid role he had no qualifications or experience for, blagged the interview, and within his first week found a magic ring that does the job for him

tumblr is like an abandoned space station & you all are the thing in the vents

not me though. im girl with tanktop

knight who is submissive like a sheep-herding dog. gentle and sweet until something threatens their sworn ward, and then suddenly they're a predator in human skin, blood spattered up the sleek, shiny metal of their armour, plume matted and messy, prowling toward the next target faster than they'd expected, ready to sink bloodied teeth into them for daring to touch who they've sworn to protect. and when all threats are dispatched, they turn to their ward with wagging tail and hopeful eyes behind their visor, waiting for praise for their violence. and surely they'll get it. that's what they're there for, isn't it? shouldn't they be praised for doing their job well?

they got married btw

in the dungeon you will have to face a monster with the nose of a tiger, the teeth of a tiger, the ears of a tiger the eyes of a tiger , the cheeks of a tiger , the neck of a tiger, the torso of a tiger, the arms of a tiger, the paws of a tiger, the belly of a tiger the back of a tiger, the the legs of a tiger, the claws of a tiger, the ankles of a tiger, the tail of the tiger, the mind of a tiger, and the power of a tiger

The fact that there's no word counterpart to "emasculation" for women just shows that what this world actually means is "reducing a man to the level of a woman". It presupposes men have an inherent dignity that women don't for the fact they were born women, and because of that they are already inferior, so there's no way to reduce them more.