Bang

i enjoy the miserable girl character.

shipping a consensual, safe & sane pairing all the while i'm shaking my head in disapproval so the audience knows i still love wildly toxic abusive fictional dynamics

i didn't mean to set that up but i am dying laughing at my own stupid joke. calling all horny wizards *rings my butler bell*

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can make women’s clothing

Oh he's definitely eating it

scientists are in labs right now creating the thinnest and worst material known to mankind so they can surreptitiously eat it

When my friends want to hang out but I'm too tired.

My favourite thing ever is when you ask someone whose never had a penis what they'd do if they got one and the immediate answer is always "I'm stroking my shit crazystyle" it's so funny

when you compliment or thank someone for being such a good friend to you and they hit you with the "i'm going to totally betray your trust soon and you're making it really difficult not to feel conflicted about it" stare 😂😂

feeling like an absolute evil person because when i went to block #pride month i found out that i was already filtering out #brasil. i didn't put that there. i would never block #brasil. (looks down at hands i no longer recognise) i wouldn't......

Crazy to think that seagulls existed before french fries.

Medieval seagull struggling to fly away with an entire purloined potatoe

if "29" is your idea of an older woman you have a flickering pale aura and you will not survive daylight saving time

Ever since I was a little girl I known I wanted to be a U-Haul lesbian

till the room smells like grape surgery