Just some random Blog

damn anime inspired workouts

FUCKING

I want to see a sci fi universe where we’re actually considered one of the more hideous and terrifying species.

How do we know our saliva and skin oils wouldn’t be ultra-corrosive to most other sapient races? What if we actually have the strongest vocal chords and can paralyze or kill the inhabitants of other worlds just by screaming at them? What if most sentient life in the universe turns out to be vegetable-like and lives in fear of us rare “animal” races who can move so quickly and chew shit up with our teeth?

YOU GUYS I HEARD A HUMAN ONCE ATE AN AIRPLANE.

A HUMAN CAN KEEP FIGHTING FOR HOURS EVEN AFTER YOU SHOOT IT

humans are a proud warrior race with a pantheon of bloody gods: Ram-Bo, Schwarzenegger, etc.

REMOVING A LIMB WILL NOT FATALLY INCAPACITATE HUMANS: ALWAYS DESTROY THE HEAD.

WARNING: HUMANS CAN DETECT YOU EVEN AT NIGHT BY TRACKING VIBRATIONS THROUGH THE ATMOSPHERE

WARNING: HUMANS CAN REPRODUCE AT A RATE OF 1 PER SPACEYEAR. DESTROY INFESTATIONS IMMEDIATELY

THE HUMAN MOUTH HAS OVER THIRTY OUTCROPS OF BONE AND POWERFUL JAW MUSCLES.

HUMAN BITES CAN BE FATALLY INFECTIOUS EVEN TO OTHER HUMANS

WARNING: HUMANS CAN AND WILL USE IMPROVISED WEAPONS. SEE CLASSIFIED DATA LABELED J. CHAN.

HUMANS CAN PROJECT BIOWEAPONS FROM ALMOST EVERY ORIFICE ON THEIR BODY. DO NOT INHALE

(The only other animal that can sort of keep up with us? Dogs. That’s why we use them for hunting. And even then, it’s only “sort of”.)

Now extrapolate that to a galaxy in which most sapient life did not evolve from hyper-specialised pursuit predators:

Our strength and speed is nothing to write home about, but we don’t need to overpower or outrun you. We just need to outlast you - and by any other species’ standards, we just plain don’t get tired.

Where a simple broken leg will cause most species to go into shock and die, we can recover from virtually any injury that’s not immediately fatal. Even traumatic dismemberment isn’t necessarily a career-ending injury for a human.

We heal from injuries with extreme rapidity, recovering in weeks from wounds that would take others months or years to heal. The results aren’t pretty - humans have hyperactive scar tissue, among our other survival-oriented traits - but they’re highly functional.

Speaking of scarring, look at our medical science. We developed surgery centuries before developing even the most rudimentary anesthetics or life support. In extermis, humans have been known to perform surgery on themselves - and survive. Thanks to our extreme heartiness, we regard as routine medical procedures what most other species would regard as inventive forms of murder. We even perform radical surgery on ourselves for purely cosmetic reasons.

We formed cohabitative relationships with tiny mammals and insects we keep at bay from bothering us by death, often using little analouge traps. 

We expose ourselves to potentially lethal solar radiation in the pursuit of darkening our skin. 

We risk hearing loss for the opportunity to see our favorite musicians live. 

We have a game where two people get into an enclosed area and hit each other until time runs out/one of them pass out

We willingly jump out of planes with only a flimsy piece of cloth to prevent us from splattering against the ground. 

Our response to natural disasters is to just rebuild our buildings in the exact same places. 

We climb mountains and risk freezing to death for bragging rights

We invented dogs. We took our one time predators and completely domesticated them. 

On a planet full of lions, tigers and bears, we managed to advance further and faster than any other species on the planet. 

Breeding does not kill them. A single human can mate dozens or hundreds of times in a lifetime. They often do so as recreation. Xenobiology team six believes they do not have a mating season but this is too strange to be true.

Their appendages are not designed for hitting, so they developed special training to make them very good at hitting anyhow. 

The proteins making up their bodies are toxic and cause prion disease. Do not touch anything humans have touched. Do not consume earth foods. Fire does not adequately remove this contamination.

Humans perceive sixteen times the colors we do. Do not hide in bushes or vines from humans. They can distinguish your pelt from the foliage with ease.

We tried venting waste gas into the tunnels to kill the humans when they attacked. Turns out they breathe it. 

Everything on their planet came from a single biological strain. They developed comprehensive genetics BEFORE they developed space travel. 

HOH FUCK I’ve been working on this since Monday. I am in physical pain. Totally worth it. You will probably have to click for better quality

@big-mood-energy told me to elaborate, so here we go.

Okay, so basically the tldr is a bowstring is a nearly unstoppable force and your nose is very much not an immoveable object.

The longer version is a bowstring has a couple hundreds of pounds of force behind it on average - it’s what makes the arrow go. It’s why you never dry fire a bow (all that force goes to the arms instead of the arrow and damages them), why you shoot odd color out (the bow will strip off the fletching otherwise, I’ve done that before) and why archers wear bracers. The string has a nasty habit of smacking into your arm, and at best it will leave you with a giant welt and a nasty bruise, at worst it’ll take a good strip of skin off. I’ve done both. My arms are ridiculously short just like the rest of me so the string would smack me right in the crease of the elbow where standard bracers don’t reach. Here’s the type of arm guard I wore back when I was a more active archer because of that:

The leather part goes on the inside of the arm, not the outside, I don’t care how “unfashionable” it looks!

(Btw, I primarily use recurve, but this is all true for compound as well. The whole point of compound is more force for less effort.)

Now you do want to anchor somewhere on your face in order to sight properly, but if you put anything in the way of that string - chin, nose, hair - you better be prepared to lose it. Here’s the worst offender:

Ouch.

Typically, you specifically want to anchor somewhere on your cheekbone or at the corner of your mouth. By corner of your mouth I don’t mean corner of your lips. If you run a finger across your mouth, you should feel a little bump right in the corner. That. You want to anchor right on the side of that bump. Your thumb or pointer finger should be right there. I typically anchor on my cheekbone right below my eye, but for the most part, it is a matter of preference.

Also, face the target, not the bow! Your face should be pointing straight forward, down the shaft, not - not that, look at her chin, oh my god, Katniss:

(This gif is saved to my phone as KatnissMarvoloRiddle.gif)

And while we’re on the subject, I get that movies have to make it look cool, but this is pretty much any archer’s preferred stance:

T-pose with feet shoulder width apart, front foot pointed toward target, bend your arm at the elbow, pull back with your shoulder.

Also, at least they got this part right:

And:

You don’t want to cut off the pads of your fingers because you couldn’t move them away in time, and you really don’t want to put hundreds of pounds of force directly on a joint when you have nice weight-redistributing fat right there.

And don’t squeeze the nock! The arrow will stay on the string, that’s what the nock is for. Your fingers are to keep it on the bow and guide it back.

And by the way, this? is like… the fastest way to get tendonitis:

See how his wrist is turned out? It means he has to pull with his elbow. I’ve done that before. It’s a rookie mistake, and it fucking hurts for a very long time after a very short while.

(Although it is interesting that while it wrecks your arm, it is technically faster to nock, loose, and renock that way if you haven’t had much training, like the Uruk-Hai.)

Tl;dr: Movie archers are dumbasses, and having to watch them be dumbasses is my #1 media pet peeve.

Favorite Character From Avatar The Last Airbender.

Dark Souls - Estus

The Dark Souls series is, in my opinion, one of the greatest to ever be created. (Although at the time of writing this I’m in the middle of a lover’s spat with Dark Souls 2 - we’re currently not talking due to the Royal Rat Authority… ) I love Dark Souls because it captures the essence of why I fell in love with video games to begin with; the challenge, the sense of mystery, exploration and discovery. I’d been wanting to do a post for Estus for quite a while, and ‘lo, with the revival of Gourmet Gaming, comes the very revival of the soul.

Click ‘Read More’ for the full recipe!