back through the skull, into the self

Ronan had gone to Mass at St. Agnes since he was a child, but he'd never paid attention to who she was. The word virgin martyr had held no weight to him. It only occurred to him to look her up the summer that Adam moved into the apartment upstairs. Ronan had seen the church with new eyes, like Adam’s mere presence had transformed the building into a proper holy vessel. He’d discovered that St. Agnes of Rome had viewed her physical body as sacred. Even when faced with death, she remained devoted to Jesus and protected her purity. Men attempted to violate her, to exert power over her, but in every version of the story, it was no use. She died a virgin martyr. She was only thirteen years old. None of this made any impression on Ronan until he'd leaned onto his chest atop a dreamt Pig and felt a hand graze his spine. Until he'd been unable to move. Until he—