your brains are made of gogurt & i hate your guts

take my ass to torture city where the grass is ouch and the girls are hit me

nope. funkytown again

come on

wedding dresses are white specifically so that if the bride goes axe-crazy you can rest assured you will see the blood stains all over her and it'll be sick as fuck

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

did you know its national moth week? Happy national moth week!

something very intimate about how slow this machine is moving. feels tender and loving

im currently completely losing it about the great stalacpipe organ. are you fucking kidding me they made an organ out of a CAVE???? IT TAKES UP THREE ACRES??? i legit am about to lose it

job interviewer: would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for nothing?

job interviewer: (reading the room) would you be willing to destroy and betray yourself for a pizza party?

Do you remember the episode of Spongebob where he's training gary for the snail race and does a coach persona + calls gary a girl and has an aside where he's like "I called you a lady to demean you 🤓" and right after he says that it cuts to sandy and she somehow telepathically feels that Spongebob just did something misogynistic and us like I feel like I need to kick Spongebobs ass for some reason. And then she appears just at the end of the episode to kick his ass.

If you are currently sitting or laying down this moment ask yourself if you are resting or rotting. Change your behavior accordingly

There is no romance in decay when the decaying is easy

"rot or rest" sounds like the world's worst game show

the biggest spider in north america just sent you a friend request on steam