The Escape Corner

why are there so many posts about asexuals being immune to sirens. people. sirens don’t lure you in with sex (necessarily). they sing about whatever it is that you want most. they could sing about mothman or cinnamon toast crunch and guess what then your asexual pirate is fucking dead

this is the only kind of ace discourse i ever want to see on my dash. the only kind. ever again. good job

Do you think the sirens would be grateful that they finally get some variety? 

“Oh my god we can finally just sing about pasta thank the fucking gods.” 

I’m not asexual but I’m fairly certain sirens would do a far better job luring me into the depths with a song about pasta rather than sex…

Them: “We have unlimited wifi at incredible speeds~” Me: *diving headfirst into the water*

This post is a blessing

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Oh my god sirens were literally scam websites

Oh my god they were phishing

E—m—d—a—s—h—N—e—c—k—l—a—c—e

Y—o—u—P—e—o—p—l—e—W—i—l—l—R—e—b—l—o—g—A—n—y—t—h—i—n—g

needs an em-dash at the beginning and/or end, otherwise the first or last letters will be right next to each other

϶—F—r—i—e—n—d—s—h—i—p—B—r—a—c—e—l—e—t—ϵ

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

Cursed amulet necklace that doesnt have a cursed amulet its just the phrase cursed amulet

϶—C—U—R—S—E—D—(¤)—A—M—U—L—E—T—ϵ

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

Brave Adventurer I must now send you on your most difficult quest yet, I task thee- Go To Bed.

Oh, to be granted the power to speak to animals for just like 38 seconds, so that I could tell this pebble-brained feathery fuckass that nobody is impressed that he started singing earlier than anybody else. There's no bird pussy available at 2 am. The dames can sense your desperation. Stop screaming for at least three more hours.

thats most likely a bat

I have never seen or heard a bat in real life, but I think I could tell one apart from a passerine.

Every pride, you must reblog this. No exceptions

I love that four different people on my feed scheduled this joyous person to reblog by 8am on June 1. I look forward to seeing this a dozen more times today.

glad they added new maps to baseball

MY FINGERS BARELY EVEN TOUCHED YOUR STUPID FUCKING AD STOP REDIRECTING ME TO THE APP STORE

LET ME SCROLL I DON’T WANT TO MOVE THINGS IN YOUR STUPID GAME

just saw an x-ray of a horse skull. can’t say i’m too happy with it

Fun fact: horses' teeth take up more space in their skulls than their brains!

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