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hi im your cat do you mind if i touch your coffee. do you mind if i put my whole foot in your coffee

cats can never just lay down they have to stand there on your pancreas

oh to be married and spend a lifetime learning and evolving alongside your lover

you can just say “bush” and you lesbians go wild like do y’all not remember what he did

ran up that hill

A second Kate has run up that building

im putting a fruit sticker on you. im sprinkling blades of grass on you. im offering wedges of my tangerine to you. etc.

man who opened a parenthesis he forgot to close 4 years ago is tragically unaware everything he's said since has been an aside

“The average US president has been charged with 1.54 felonies” factoid isn’t true. The average US President has been charged with 0 felonies. Donald trump, who has been charged with 71, is a statistical outlier and should not have been counted

Felonies Donld is now up to 79 felonies, for a statistical average of 1.71 felonies per president