Sydd-Acidity

It wasn’t until you got home with the assistance of an Uber that Harry the short interaction, “I like your hair. ” ‘S soft ‘n smells good ‘n like it when it’s messy.”

You paused as you locked the door and took of your shoes, watching him remove the jacket he’d been tugging at all night, “Yeah? Like it messy?”

With the same pink cheeks he smiled, “Like it is when you let me love on you.”

You laughed softly and let him pull you close to him, he leaned a little more of his weight on you then normal, “Is that so?”

He nuzzled into your neck tucking his nose into your hair and nodded, “Mhm, I do.”

It was a week before he did it again. You were up late binge reading the novel your friend let you borrow curled up in bed wearing his favorite t-shirt when he came in. With his  first day off he decided to head home and see his mom and sister in Cheshire, after a nap on the flight he was home. Expecting you to be asleep he slowly and quietly opened the door and smiled when he found you awake with soft music playing from your phone the book tucked into your knees and cradled between your hands. He closed the door and walked up to you reaching out and ruffling the back of your hair with the gentle massage again only keeping his hand there as you look up with a sleepy smile, “You’re home. Did you have a nice time? Are you hun-”

Fingers tightening your hair he tugged you head back to kiss your lips interrupting you with a deep kiss. You hummed and closed your eyes kissing back, he pulled away and gave you a gently kiss, fingers massaging your scalp where they lay and you lean into it. “I’m fine baby, it’s late though, you should be asleep,” he said it softly against your cheek while observing the way your eyes fluttered open then closed again as his hand gently combed through your hair to fix the mess he left.

You looked up at him as his hand fell away, “I couldn’t, you weren’t home safe yet. I need to shower though, I lost track of time.”

He smiles, “Let’s go shower. I brought us some new shampoo and conditioner…”

With a grin you wrapped your arms around his neck and hugged him, “Carry me to the shower and maybe I’ll let you wash my hair tonight.”

It was a bad day next time it happened, Harry found you crying on the couch when he came home. You were sobbing into the tissues you barely dragged from the coffee table before the snot started to run. The second he saw you he was in action, rushing to your side he scooped you up and placed you on his lap with your head on his chest, “Hey, hey, hey baby, what’s going on? It’s okay baby, I’m here.”

You sniffled in the tissue you held to your nose as you cried hiding your wet face into the collar of his shirt. He shushed you with gentle words and hugs rubbing your back and kissing your shoulder slowly calming you down. When you managed to get yourself under control and now just sniffling and shivering with sudden gasps you reach around and caught his hand placing it onto your head holding it there until he got the hint. His fingers slowly found their way through your hair and he carefully gave you a few scratches then running his fingers down your neck passed your shoulders and over your back as he detangled the long hairs. You accidentally whined as his rings snagged a few hairs but also because he stopped massaging.

“Shh shh shh, sorry baby, it’s okay, “he whispered as he managed to tug the clunky rings off of his fingers, impatiently you reached back and caught his hand placing it back to your head.

“More.”

He wanted to kiss you because you were being cute but now wasn’t the time, instead he did just as you wished. Setting the rings on the cushion beside you two he brought his fingers through your hair just to quickly return them and give you a gently scratch and massage. THere was no telling how long it had been by the time you’d fallen asleep against him with your arms tucked up to your chest between you two with the tissue in your fist but he didn’t move and he didn’t stop.

At an interview a month later there were some fan questions, most of them about his album and the other ones about his relationship with you. It was always easy to go around the questions with a vaguely kind answer but this time you sat just outside of the stage watching.

The interviewer picked up the note card with the next question, “Harry, there were a lot of fans with the same question so we decided to go ahead and address it. Lately there have been quite a few photos of you and your lovely out and about.” Harry nodded along. “There was always one thing about these photos that the fans seem to be concerned about. And that would be, why is your lovely’s hair always so messy in the back?” Harry laughs and covers his mouth shyly.

The interviewer continues, “there are a two rumors going around. One, that you two can’t get enough of each other or “sex hair” if you will and second that she must not have a hair brush.”

You blush from the side of the stage as Harry glances at you before returning to the question, self consciously you run your hand over your hair, “Uh...well...it would be my fault, yeah but not like not like that it’s just that I like her hair and I uh play with it and I mess it up and uh...yeah...she doesn’t appreciate it so I’m sure I’ll get a talking to now.

As the door knob turned at the entrance to the house you realized the tears were for more than George, they were for your test score from yesterday and they were for the man who was walking through the door. You missed him and you had been feeding your feelings with sweets and TV shows of love, the love you were sure was going to leave you soon. His boots heels click against the hardwood floor as he made his way towards the tv light. You sniffled and wiped your nose refusing to look towards him. He dropped the coat onto the chair by your makeshift bed and unbuttoned his sleeves allowing you to pull it together for a minute.

“It’s late baby, you should be in bed resting. Don’t you have a test tomorrow?” His voice was soft and unsure like he wasn’t expecting to talk to you tonight.

You looked over with red eyes, “...that was yesterday…”

He frowned like he didn’t understand then looked to the calendar hanging on the fridge, “What? No, no it’s tomorrow remember I’m going to help you study.”

You shook your head, you were getting angry, “No, Harry. No, it was yesterday. I failed it okay? I got a 52%. I royally failed it so no, it’s not tomorrow.”

He shook his head and looked at you, “You should of reminded me! I wanted to help you baby. I’m so sorry I guess I’ve just been-”

“Busy. I know. It’s fine.”

“I’m...sorry but are you actually angry right now? You didn’t tell me.” He was defensive but you knew it was only because he didn’t like fights and this was about to be one.

You stood up off the couch pushing the blanket to the floor, “Oh don’t even try to pin this to me. I don’t wanna fight with you Harry, I have to go to bed, like you said it’s late. I’ll stay in the guest room.” You turned to go down the hall and leave him, to walk away was the only way you could think to prevent the fight.

“Hey, don’t walk away from me. I haven’t seen you all day and you’re picking a fight? I’m working, I’m sorry I’m not at home all the time. I’m sorry I’m not the one sitting in the dark all day and night eating junk food and crying about shitty TV shows. I’m sorry.” He said it with spite, with tension, and he ended with no remorse.

You paused then closed your eyes. Whispering, “I watch tv...to forget. I’m watching these shows to stop feeling so bad. I’m eating shit food because I’m trying to numb the aching in my stomach when I think of you. I am trying to let you be.” You turn around and look at him, standing with his shoulders slumped as he realized what was happening, “I’m crying in the dark because O’Malley died, because my heart hurts, because I miss you and because I’m trying to let you go.”

He stepped closer, “Let me go?”

“I have to let you go, you are so amazing and talented and I’m just a distraction now. You haven’t...kissed me in a week. I...I know you’ve been going out with the band and I know you must have found someone-”

“Found someone?” His voice is loud, panicked.

You keep going, “-you like more than me now. Harry, I love you so much but if I’m not what you want anymore then tell me.”

“Not what I want?” His hands are on you face, his fingers in your hair and his chest against yours. “This is what you think? That I’m cheating?”

You shake your head, “You’ve been gone for a month, you haven’t touched me in weeks. I don’t know who it is or what you’ve been doing and I don’t want to know but I’m letting you go okay?”

His thumbs catch your tears as you finish, your heart is racing and you can feel him breathing so heavy like he’d ran a mile. He wraps his arms around you as you fall apart. He holds you together kissing your head. You cry harder because this has to be it, the end. He rocks you two side to side pressed close together in the dim TV light.

“There’s no one. I’m not...cheating. I’m not...looking at anyone else. I fucked up, I didn’t know that I was doing this to you. You didn’t say-no, I didn’t notice you were hurting and I’m sorry. I’m an asshole. I’ve been busy and that’s no excuse for the damage I’ve done to you. I thought you were buried in school and hanging out with friend, I thought you sleeping on the couch was you just exhausted from school but...but it’s me. You weren’t sleeping in our bed because of me. I have no excuse for how I’ve been treating you. I as stressed out and I made the choice to be selfish.”

You sobbed into his chest gripping his shirt, “I’m sorry Harry.”

He shook his head, “No. Nothing to be sorry for. I made you feel this way, I made you think those things and I have not been here for you. You do not feel sorry baby, do not.”

You two stand there holding each other tight for a long time, till your heart slows down and your head slows down. His breathing is calm, his hands comforting you more than they have all month. He slowly pulls away, “We will fix this. I’m taking tomorrow off and we are going out.”

You shake your head and start to argue when he interrupts you, kissing your lips softly. It was unsure and painful, like a first kiss it was so unfamiliar. “Shhhh,” he hushes you, faces close together, “No more talking tonight. We are going to shower, eat something and we are going to bed. Together. In our room.”

You looked up at him and nodded, smiling with a red nose, “Okay.”