All the sharp pretty things

A spell called “Literally Fucking Nothing” that uses all your spell slots and does literally nothing

Chronic fatigue.

Chronic fatigue

Chronic fatigue

Girl i am in awe of your tism

Welp my car just emptied my savings account so if anyone wants to help my PayPal is @roamingelf13 and my venmo is @kendrick-cronin

if i want to listen to the same song sixty-four times in a row that’s my own business. it’s between me and god. this is a private dance

[ID: a four: panel comic called “Mushroomed”, showing one mushroom, a small cluster of mushrooms, a cluster with a mycelial network below the ground, and then a scene beneath some trees with many varied mushrooms springing up from the ground all over the place. The text reads: “After a rain mushrooms appear on the surface of the earth as if from nowhere. Many do so from a vast underground fungus that remains invisible and unknown. What we call mushrooms, mycologists call the fruiting body of the larger, less visible fungus. (Uprisings and revolutions are often considered to be spontaneous.) - from Hope in the Dark, Rebecca Solnit. signed CEL. /end ID]

today i was talking to my coworker jess and she said to me “i’ve been trying to think of how to tell my husband that i want a horse. i’m really non confrontational and i don’t know how to tell him. like, thanks for the flowers, but i want a horse.” and i was like, “well, you could always send him subliminal messages. like tape pictures of horses all over the walls and stuff” and she gave me this really weird look and was like “i said divorce not horse“ oh my god…

classic material

the only 2 base designs for wizards are weird grandpa and twink

that’s a blob with eyes

If there’s only one barista, who’s running the express line?

Another note, Starbucks has an app that you can use to preorder your drink and come pick it up, it’ll be already done and waiting for you when you walk in the door. THAT is the express lane, and if dipshit chose to stand in a 45 minute line for his 4 dollar half coffee half ice he’s not just wrong, he’s stupid.

Ok but what the hell does this guy mean by ‘professional’ customer Is yelling at Starbucks baristas their day job or smth?

I don’t think enough retellings of the Cain and Abel story make note of the fact that nobody had ever been killed or even died before when it happened. Cain had no idea beating his brother to death could possibly be a bad thing

Cain really did fuck around and find out

They were shepards. They knew what killing was.

Abel gave first lambs, Cain did not give first fruits. That was why God was mad.