Sweet Red Lipstick💋

there is a circle that holds everything you’re entitled to: roof over your head, food, clothes, water, community, safety, non-violence/ no abuse, education etc. these are all things that are ideally protected by the law and organizations will give or make more accessible to you if you lack in any of those things. everything outside of that circle is stuff YOU NEED TO WORK FOR. idc what anybody says. I can’t just go to a tech job interview and demand a 300k salary without knowing how to write a single line of code and no experience whatsoever. that’s not how life works.

My Sunday 🫶🏽🤎

IG:saydesole

How is your Sunday going?

Staying stuck on autopilot.

Prioritizing intellectual sophistication over relatability.

Trying to manifest without taking action.

Obeying societal norms without questioning them.

Fear of standing out or being disliked.

"All or nothing" thinking.

Unhelpful "what if" scenarios.

Clutter.

Productivity guilt.

Falling into comparison traps.

Oversharing your goals without taking action.

Neglecting self-care in the pursuit of goals.

Overvaluing others' opinions more than your own intuition.

Believing that being busy equals being productive.

Holding onto past mistakes instead of learning from them.

The idea that vulnerability is a weakness.

Waiting for the 'perfect' moment to start something new.

Underestimating the power of small, consistent steps.

The myth that multitasking is effective.

Ignoring the importance of setting boundaries.

The notion that failure is not a part of the growth process.

Self Reflect:

Journal daily.

Think about past decisions and how they impacted your life.

Meditate regularly.

Create a vision board to visualize your goals.

Review your strengths and weaknesses.

Identify your core values and beliefs.

Figure out your passions and interests.

Think about your childhood dreams and aspirations.

Evaluate your current state of happiness and fulfillment.

Set Clear Goals:

Define specific career goals, like "Get promoted within two years."

Set health goals, like "Lose 20 pounds in six months."

Create financial goals such as "Save $10,000 for a vacation."

Establish personal development goals, like "Read 24 books in a year."

Set relationship goals, such as "Improve communication with my partner."

Define education goals, like "Complete a master's degree in three years."

Set travel goals, like "Visit five new countries in the next two years."

Create hobbies and interests goals, such as "Learn to play a musical instrument."

Set community or volunteer goals, like "Volunteer 100 hours this year."

Establish mindfulness or self-care goals, such as "Practice meditation daily."

Self Care:

Exercise for at least 30 minutes a day.

Follow a balanced diet with plenty of fruits and vegetables.

Prioritize getting 7-9 hours of quality sleep each night.

Practice in relaxation techniques like deep breathing or yoga.

Take regular breaks at work to avoid burnout.

Schedule "me time" for activities you enjoy.

Limit exposure to stressors and toxic people.

Practice regular skincare and grooming routines.

Seek regular medical check-ups and screenings.

Stay hydrated by drinking enough water daily.

Personal Development:

Read a book every month from various genres.

Attend workshops or seminars on topics of interest.

Learn a new language or musical instrument.

Take online courses to acquire new skills.

Set aside time for daily reflection and self improvement.

Seek a mentor in your field for guidance.

Attend conferences and networking events.

Start a side project or hobby to expand your abilities.

Practice public speaking or communication skills.

Do creative activities like painting, writing, or photography.

Create a Support System:

Build a close knit group of friends who uplift and inspire you.

Join clubs or organizations aligned with your interests.

Connect with a mentor or life coach.

Attend family gatherings to maintain bonds.

Be open and honest in your communication with loved ones.

Seek advice from trusted colleagues or supervisors.

Attend support groups for specific challenges (e.g., addiction recovery).

Cultivate online connections through social media.

Find a therapist or counselor for emotional support.

Participate in community or volunteer activities to meet like minded people.

Change Habits:

Cut back on sugary or processed foods.

Reduce screen time and increase physical activity.

Practice gratitude by keeping a daily journal.

Manage stress through mindfulness meditation.

Limit procrastination by setting specific deadlines.

Reduce negative self-talk by practicing self-compassion.

Establish a regular exercise routine.

Create a budget and stick to it.

Develop a morning and evening routine for consistency.

Overcome Fear and Self Doubt:

Face a specific fear head-on (example: public speaking).

Challenge your negative thoughts with positive affirmations.

Seek therapy to address underlying fears or traumas.

Take small, calculated risks to build confidence.

Visualize success in challenging situations.

Surround yourself with supportive and encouraging people.

Journal about your fears and doubts to gain clarity.

Celebrate your accomplishments, no matter how small.

Focus on your strengths and accomplishments.

Embrace failure as a valuable learning experience.

Embrace Change:

Relocate to a new city or country.

Switch careers or industries to pursue your passion.

Take on leadership roles in your workplace.

Volunteer for projects outside your comfort zone.

Embrace new technologies and digital tools.

Travel to unfamiliar destinations.

Start a new hobby or creative endeavor.

Change your daily routine to add variety.

Adjust your mindset to see change as an opportunity.

Seek out diverse perspectives and viewpoints.

Practice Gratitude:

Write down three things you're grateful for each day.

Express gratitude to loved ones regularly.

Create a gratitude jar and add notes of appreciation.

Reflect on the positive aspects of challenging situations.

Show gratitude by volunteering or helping others in need.

Send thank-you notes or messages to people who've helped you.

Keep a gratitude journal and review it regularly.

Share your gratitude openly during family meals or gatherings.

Focus on the present moment and appreciate the little things.

Practice gratitude even in times of adversity.

Be Patient:

Set realistic expectations for your progress.

Accept that personal growth takes time.

Focus on the journey rather than the destination.

Learn from setbacks and view them as opportunities to improve.

Celebrate small milestones along the way.

Practice self-compassion during challenging times.

Stay committed to your goals, even when progress is slow.

Keep a journal to track your personal growth.

Recognize that patience is a valuable skill in personal transformation.

Celebrate Small Wins:

Treat yourself to your favorite meal or dessert.

Reward yourself with a spa day or self-care activity.

Share your achievements with friends and loved ones.

Create a vision board to visualize your successes.

Acknowledge and congratulate yourself in a journal.

Give yourself permission to take a break and relax.

Display reminders of your accomplishments in your workspace.

Take a day off to celebrate a major milestone.

Host a small gathering to mark your achievements.

Set aside time to reflect on how far you've come.

Maintain Balance:

Set clear boundaries in your personal and work life.

Prioritize self care activities in your daily routine.

Schedule regular breaks and downtime.

Learn to say "no" when necessary to avoid overcommitment.

Evaluate your work life balance regularly.

Seek support from friends and family to avoid burnout.

Be kind to yourself and accept imperfections.

Practice mindfulness to stay present and grounded.

Revisit your priorities and adjust them as needed.

You should always be 10 steps ahead.

Translation: Your boss, team, or senior shouldn't have to remind you to complete tasks; ideally, you should have already completed the task and moved on to the next steps by the time they approach you. Being proactive means constantly seeking ways to enhance processes, workflows, and outcomes. Take the example from a few weeks ago when my boss requested a weekly search of specific KPIs for our client companies. After spending three hours searching and analyzing, and realizing the whole process was inefficient, I collaborated with our data team, organized a meeting, and together, we automated the process. Now, it's a seamless task done with just a click every Friday, much to my boss's delight. Similarly, recognizing the growing importance of AI in finance, I researched upcoming AI conferences, discussed them with my boss, and expanded my knowledge in the field. None of these efforts were particularly challenging or even well thought out--I just thought ahead and as a result, life is a whole lot easier for both me and my team.

Your first job is to make your boss's life easier

By optimizing processes and simplifying tasks, you can significantly enhance your boss's daily efficiency and in turn, make them love and appreciate you endlessly. Take proactive steps like volunteering to take notes during meetings, especially with important clients and while you're at it, follow up promptly by sharing a concise list of key takeaways to help your boss keep them top of mind. Be mindful of their time and present updates clearly and succinctly. Highlight any crucial developments and demonstrate your attentiveness by never making them to repeat instructions. Basically, strive to become indispensable through your proactive approach and valuable contributions.

Confidence is key, but so is humility.

The key is to strike a balance between confidence and humility. Overconfidence can lead to arrogance and closed-mindedness, but on the other hand, excessive humility breeds self-doubt and missed opportunities. So here's how you balance the two. You Listen: confident humility allows you to express your ideas assertively while being open to feedback and suggestions from others. You Empathize: you understand the feelings and perspectives of others, creating a supportive and inclusive environment. You Collaborate: Confident humility encourages teamwork and collaboration, leading to innovative solutions and successful outcomes.

You will be judged based on your appearance.

I don't care what anyone says, humans are visual creatures and we we all absolutely judge books by their covers. So if you dress kinda meh every day in the office, then people will see you as a meh kinda employee. If your clothes are always wrinkled people will think you're a messy worker. And if you look incredibly professional and well put together every single day, people will subconsciously view you as a top-notch worker. Moreover, if your job involves interacting with clients or customers, your appearance can influence their perception of the company as a whole. Dressing professionally and putting together a polished appearance in the office is not just about following a set of rules; it’s about presenting yourself and your organization in the best possible light. Your attire is a reflection of your professionalism, respect for the workplace, and consideration for your colleagues and clients. By investing in your professional image, you invest in your own success and contribute positively to the overall work environment.

Power & Manipulation

48 Laws of Power by Robert Green

The Prince by Machiavelli

Games People Play: The Basic Handbook of Transactional Analysis by Eric Berne

The Dictator's Handbook: Why Bad Behavior is Almost Always Good Politics by Bruce Bueno de Mesquita

Power: Why Some People Have It - And Others Don't by Jeffrey Pfeffer

The Wisdom of Psychopaths: What Saints, Spies, and Serial Killers Can Teach Us About Success by Kevin Dutton

Charisma & Social Skills

How to Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie

Crucial Conversations: Tools for Talking When Stakes Are High by Kerry Patterson

How to Talk to Anyone: 92 Little Tricks for Big Success in Relationships by Leil Lowndes

The Charisma Myth: How Anyone Can Master the Art and Science of Personal Magnetism by Olivia Fox Cabane

Captivate: The Science of Succeeding with People by Vanessa Van Edwards

Never Eat Alone, And the Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time by Keith Ferrazzi

The Like Switch: An Ex-FBI Agent's Guide to Influencing, Attracting, and Winning People Over by Jack Schafer

Persuasion

The Art of Seduction by Robert Green

Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion by Robert Cialdini

Win Bigly: Persuasion in a World Where Facts Don't Matter by Scott Adams

Pre-Suasion: Channeling Attention for Change by Robert Cialdini

Win Your Case: How to Present, Persuade, and Prevail, Every Place, Every Time by Gerry Spence

Nudge: Improving Decisions About Health, Wealth, and Happiness by Richard Thaler

Methods of Persuasion: How to Use Psychology to Influence Human Behavior by Nick Kolenda

You Can Read Anyone: Never Be Fooled, Lied to, or Taken Advantage of Again by David Lieberman

Influencer: The New Science of Leading Change by Kerry Patterson

Psychology

Thinking, Fast and Slow by Daniel Kahneman

The Art of Choosing by Sheena Iyengar

Drive: The Surprising Truth About What Motivates Us by Daniel Pink

Predictably Irrational: The Hidden Forces That Shape Our Decisions by Dan Ariely

Emotional Intelligence by Daniel Goleman

The Laws of Human Nature by Robert Green

Philosophy and Mindset

Meditations by Marcus Aurelius

Letters from a Stoic by Seneca

Man's Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl

Mastery by Robert Green

The Law of Success by Napoleon Hill

Antifragile: Things That Gain from Disorder by Nassim Taleb

The Daily Stoic by Ryan Holiday

Ikigai: The Japanese Secret to a Long and Happy Life by Hector Garcia

Public Speaking, Rhetoric, and Debating

Rhetoric by Aristotle

How to Argue & Win Every Time by Gerry Spence

The Quick and Easy Way to Effective Speaking by Dale Carnegie

The Art of Public Speaking by Dale Carnegie

Talk Like TED: The 9 Public Speaking Secrets of the World's Top Minds by Carmine Gallo

Verbal Judo: The Gentle Art of Persuasion by George Thompson, PhD

Thank You for Arguing by Jay Heinrichs

p.s. a lot of these can be found on z-library.

Your room is the most important place in your life. You sleep, wake up, heal and experience many emotions just in your room. You have to take care of your room, so it is spiritually the ideal place to grow into the best version of yourself. 

KEEPING YOUR ROOM CLEAN 

Keeping your room free of mess is an act of mindfulness and self-discipline that supports your overall journey and connects you with your higher self. It helps with promoting clarity, and cultivating inner balance and is an everyday self-care ritual. 

Make your bed every day. You have to respect the place in which you sleep and heal.

Hang up clean clothes after the day or put any dirty clothes in your laundry hamper, avoid tossing them on the floor. 

Find a place for everything, and know where everything is. If you do not know where each thing in your room is located, you either have too much clutter or you’re disorganised. 

Tidy up your room daily, neatly putting everything away in its place. If needed, buy a few organisers. 

Don’t leave rubbish for extended periods. Treat your room like a temple, don’t disrespect it, and pick up after yourself. 

Try to avoid eating meals in your bedroom. We forget the dirty dishes over time, and it stinks and attracts unwanted bugs. 

Change bed sheets regularly. Once a week at the most, for more hygienic reasons though. 

Remove unwanted items on your bedside table. Keep it minimal and intentional with anything you want to place on it.

Regularly clean up the dust in your room, using a duster or a damp microfiber cloth on all of the surfaces. 

ENCOURAGING GROWTH IN YOUR LIFE

A room designed to encourage inner growth serves as a physical reminder of your commitment to self-improvement, personal development, and overall well-being. It creates an environment helpful to improvement, self-reflection, and positive change.

Your room is the most important place in your life. You sleep, wake up, heal and experience many emotions just in your room. You have to take care of your room, so it is spiritually the ideal place to grow into the best version of yourself. 

KEEPING YOUR ROOM CLEAN 

Keeping your room free of mess is an act of mindfulness and self-discipline that supports your overall journey and connects you with your higher self. It helps with promoting clarity, and cultivating inner balance and is an everyday self-care ritual. 

Make your bed every day. You have to respect the place in which you sleep and heal.

Hang up clean clothes after the day or put any dirty clothes in your laundry hamper, avoid tossing them on the floor. 

Find a place for everything, and know where everything is. If you do not know where each thing in your room is located, you either have too much clutter or you’re disorganised. 

Tidy up your room daily, neatly putting everything away in its place. If needed, buy a few organisers. 

Don’t leave rubbish for extended periods. Treat your room like a temple, don’t disrespect it, and pick up after yourself. 

Try to avoid eating meals in your bedroom. We forget the dirty dishes over time, and it stinks and attracts unwanted bugs. 

Change bed sheets regularly. Once a week at the most, for more hygienic reasons though. 

Remove unwanted items on your bedside table. Keep it minimal and intentional with anything you want to place on it.

Regularly clean up the dust in your room, using a duster or a damp microfiber cloth on all of the surfaces. 

ENCOURAGING GROWTH IN YOUR LIFE

A room designed to encourage inner growth serves as a physical reminder of your commitment to self-improvement, personal development, and overall well-being. It creates an environment helpful to improvement, self-reflection, and positive change.

So you want to become your baddest, most successful, most powerful self yet next year? Here’s how:

1. Make a list of what isn’t working for you right now.

Write down everything that you don’t like about yourself currently. Don’t like your laziness? Write it down. Don’t like your attitude? Write it down. This can be anything ranging from your personality to how you look. Be honest with yourself about what you don’t like!

1. Make a list of how you can change.

Sounds cliche but it’s extremely effective to become the person you need to be. Take the things that you write down in #1 & find realistic and effective ways to change the things you don’t like. This will allow you to take initiative to change. Get serious about yourself and what you need to do to improve.

3. Change your style.

Some of y’all have been dressing the same since high school and we’re not about to keep doing it. Start making Pinterest boards of what you truly want your style to be. Make sure that your style is something that YOU feel comfortable in and something that you feel is appropriate for you. Start looking on clothing sites that fit your new style vibe to have a feel of the amount of $ it will take to change your style.

4. Cut off people who aren’t serving you.

I know we say this every year, but let’s get fr about it. This is something I’m going to definitely be doing, and I feel like it gives you a clean slate to change the people around you that don’t fit the new version of you. It would be best to be around people with the same goals & mindset as you, because being around the opposite can COMPLETELY derail you in becoming who you need to be. Imagine who you hope to be at the end of 2024, now evaluate your circle and see if your best self would hang around them.

5. Start your fitness journey.

Summer bodies are built in the winter. So start going to the gym NOW. Whatever your fitness goals are, start doing your research on how to get the best results for your body type. If you want to start Pilates, lifting, or even running, now is the time you should start.

6. Start creating your standards for relationships.

i have come up with a kind of challenge to become our best version before the end of the year.

with this habit we are going to implement healthier habits in our lives and abandon those that are not benefiting us, also get to know ourselves better and manifest our desires or goals for the next year.

the challenge has a duration of 21 days but obviously after that we have to continue with this healthy lifestyle that we have created.

- habits to implement on a daily basis

drink two liters of water a day (recommended for physical and mental health).

movement (training at home, at the gym, going for a walk, running, yoga, pilates, any activity that allows you to exercise your body)

commit yourself to one habit during these 21 days, for example journaling.

choose a meditation on something you want to improve in your life, it can be self-love, relationships, economic abundance, health and do it daily (i recommend before going to sleep) during all the days of the challenge.

also choose a video of affirmations, a subliminal, mantra that has to do with the meditation you chose and listen to it at least once a day and if you can more, whenever you feel like it.

print, make or buy a calendar to keep track of this challenge and mark the days you met, if you miss one, start again, propose it.

go to bed an hour earlier than you usually go to bed and get up half an hour earlier than you usually get up.

- habits you need to start replacing now

screen time, stop being so much connected to social media and do something outside or even at home but you don't have to use your phone.

in any social media, stop following 10 accounts that you think are "hurting" you and in turn follow 5 new ones that you think will help you in your personal growth and development or at least inspire you something positive, the time you are going to use social media at least see things that nourish you.

stop worrying, when a problem or difficulty of any kind comes up, write in a journal how you feel, do a meditation or anything else that keeps you focused on something other than the problem, if necessary you can feel the anger or sadness, but don't get stuck in those thoughts.

instead of spending time watching tv or any streaming platform, read a book or listen to a spiritual/personal growth podcast.

- journaling ideas

during these days you can write in your diary these kinds of things:

how you would like your year 2024 to be.

all your goals for the next year.

how you would like your best version of yourself to be from now on.

an extraordinary event that you would like to happen before the end of this year.

a letter of forgiveness to someone who hurt you (it can be yourself too).

a list of 10 things you would do or would like to happen to you if you believe that everything is possible for you.

list of books you want to read from now and this 2024

a mantra or affirmation that you will write daily every morning for the next 21 days. write one that comes to mind or one that resonates with you.

- how to do the challenge?

organize your day to implement the habits i mentioned at the beginning such as exercise, journaling, drinking the two liters of water, doing the meditation you chose, listening to the affirmations you chose.

if one day you don't do any of these things, propose to start again from day 1.

you don't have to exercise daily either, if you are just starting out it can be 3 or 4 days but for example the other days go for a walk or do a stretching routine.

what i have proposed are small habits that can be done daily and complement the routine you have right now, you can do it and after those 21 days you will see a significant change in your life.

this challenge is just a kind of game to make it more fun and have more motivation to implement these habits in your day and start doing it now and not when the year begins. that your best version does not wait any longer to come to light.