This is the funniest fucking thing Iâve ever seen goodnight
that is beautiful

Janaina Medeiros
Peter Solarz

⣠Chile in a Photography âŁ
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YOU ARE THE REASON

Product Placement
Cosimo Galluzzi

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One Nice Bug Per Day

shark vs the universe
noise dept.
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Aqua Utopiaď˝ćľˇăŽĺşă§č¨ćśăç´Ąă
styofa doing anything
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
Lint Roller? I Barely Know Her
occasionally subtle

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@swaggregator
This is the funniest fucking thing Iâve ever seen goodnight
that is beautiful

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âIâm going to start rattling cages until all the monkeys fall, so you get yourself a real good grip!â
Knight Rider, 1982
A retired Danish special forces officer modified a *1979 Camaro, with all the armor and detection avoidance equipment available to him by the US airforce, to deliver much needed medicine and supplies to civilians in 1990s war torn Bosnia. He had night vision, kevlar panels, IR absorbent paint, mine pusher, run flat fires, and a nitro system to put another 200hp on top of whatever his 5.7L V8 put out in case the local militias wanted a word.
(Via Historical Brain on facebook)
So today this kid yelled Nani the fuck?!? in the middle of a test and I felt compelled to share this to the world.
teachers, share the weird crap your kids have done!
Iâm not a teacher (yet) but I do work with students and one of them had the nerve to look me dead in the eye and ask me âwhy would it be a bad idea for me to eat this entire marker?â Theyâre 11
An 4th grader asked for a high five by saying, âA little slappy to make daddy happy?â
I did not give him a high five.
A student during break had her head in her arms and was shaking a bit, so i asked the kid next to her whether she was laughing or crying and this 8 year old stared me in the eye deadpan and said âim crying on the insideâ
Wait i take that back, I cant believe i forgot about the time i brought in a small stuffed octopus as a class mascot because why tf not. It was a class of high schoolers and i didnt imagine theyd actually care much, but one student snuck in a snack and gave it to the octopus as a tribute. Which led to other students doing the same thing, until every day there was a pile of of offerings to Fweej the Overseer, mostly consisting of things like string cheeses and small bags of chips, but sometimes there wouldd be a couple bucks in quarters, one kid brought in some giant pocky i think, and at one point there was a cold stone gift card. This stuffed octopus gained a cult following.
Later i brought in another stuffed octopus that looked exactly the same but bigger and told the class that Fweej the Overseer accepted their offerings and became stronger. These highschoolers lost their goddamn minds.
How does anyone hate kids they are so funny I sold tickets to incredibles to this little girl and her mom and sheâs like mom are we sitting next to each other and the moms like ya and the kid screamed YES so loud it broke my ears
The other day I was bringing an older gentleman up the hill in a golf cart and we drove past this huge YMCA group of kids like 100 kids and driving past the first chunk like 10 of them yelled out âlet me onâ in unison and then since Iâm driving so slowly to be safe, halfway in some kid leaned up and said âdo you play fortniteâ and I told him I played a little and he just pointed and shouted âTHIS GUY PLAYS FORTNITEâ and then like 20 kids started talking to me all at once about fortnite
A kid asked me if I lived in the ambulance. I said yes.
The hero we deserve
When I was on register at Kohlâs a little girl came through with her grandma and she was so very excited to tell me the meaning of her name (I think it was like warrior of god) and she begged her grandma for her phone so she could google to find out what my name means too
i wear two spinner rings on one finger and one time at my last job a young girl (probably 6-8) said âyour ring is very prettyâ and when i showed her it was two rings she GASPED and said âdoes that mean youâre marrying two people?!â
I have this necklace with a mermaid on it that I wear to work a lot and I got asked by a kid if it gave me magic powers. I leaned in real close and told her in a low voice it gave me magical girl powers but it was a secret. She got this real serious look on her face and said to her mom âthat lady has superpowers, donât tell anyone or the government will take her awayâ.
The other day i had to give a speech at my school despite my horrific fear of public speaking and afterwards i had kid come up to me and say well done to me. It was so cute.
god I love tiny kids
there was a kid in one of our science camps and he spent the whole week in a lab coat and goggles screaming âCHEMICALSâ at the top of his lungs. he wouldnât even tell us his name for the first two days just screamed CHEMICALS instead.
I was watching these kids at church today and one of them screamed and threw a toy car into the wall and it broke and the other one looked over calmly and said âdoes your insurance cover that?â
Meet the 96-Year-Old Man Who Turned Southern Idaho Into a Bluebird Haven
In 1978, Alfred Larson was looking for a hobby that would keep him busy after he retired from his job at a sawmill plant near Boise, Idaho. He remembers reading an article in National Geographic that captured his imaginationâabout crafting wooden nests for bluebirds to save them from dizzying declines. Around this same time, he and his wife Hilda welcomed a new guest to their backyard: a Western Bluebird.
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By: Vincent Bal Instagram: @artwoonz
I love different.
This is different, and simple, and for some reason it just made my day.
Sometimes itâs good to talk to strangers.
John Wojtowicz & Elizabeth Eden
John Wojtowicz famously robbed a bank to pay for Lizâs sex reassignment surgery, which inspired the film Dog Day Afternoon (1975). Wojtowicz was sentenced to twenty years in prison, but served six. Using the money from the film, Liz was able to pay for her sex change.Â
Iâve seen his mugshot a thousand times but never this
After prison he got a job doing security at that bank putting al pachinko as a reference and had a shirt that said âi robbed this bankâ that he wore signing autographs there.
Lynne Cox is an accomplished American open water swimmer. Twice, she held the record for the fastest crossing of the English Channel. Cox was the first woman to swim the Cook Strait and the first to swim the Straits of Magellan and around the Cape of Good Hope. Cox swam the Bering Strait from American soil to Soviet soil in 1987, at the height of the Cold War.Â
Look at her.Â
I know open water swimming isnât really glamorous, but Lynne Cox is arguably one of the greatest overlooked athletes of the 20th century.Â
And quite possibly a mutant.Â
She can withstand water temperatures that you or I would die from because of her training and her bodyâs unique reaction to cold (you know how the blood will leave your fingers and toes when itâs cold, to preserve heat? her whole body does that, pooling her blood in her core and insuring her body temperature stays toasty where it counts).
She funded the Bering Strait swim herself, clearing out her bank account when she couldnât get corporate sponsors. After she succeeded (to almost everyoneâs surprise: if you get in the Bering Sea without serious gear you generally just die) Gorbachev mentioned her during treaty talks with Nixon: âLast summer it took one brave American by the name of Lynne Cox just two hours to swim from one of our countries to the other. We saw on television how sincere and friendly the meeting was between our people and the Americans when she stepped onto the Soviet shore. She proved by her courage how close to each other our peoples live.â
She wasnât just the first woman to swim the Strait of Magellan. She was the first person to make it across.Â
On top of setting multiple world records, she swam a mile+ to the coast of Antarctica, in just a bathing suit, and did not die.Â
Sheâs swum over 50,000 miles.Â
And look at her. This is a photo from when she was young, at the peak of her career and setting records all over the world. She is a great athlete. She is a human who can do things most humans would die trying. Iâm sitting here at 1 AM getting all teary eyed because this is the first time Iâve looked up a photo of her and I am so surprised, so gratified, so overwhelmed to find out that this world record setter, this literal superhuman, has nearly the same body type as me.Â
Since they wouldnât let her be a fantasy creature in a video game, she just did it in real life, I guess.
Anyone who thinks there is just one athletic body type isnât paying attention during the Olympics opening ceremonies.
Her body type is optimized for her sport. The shape of her body and the presence of fat both provide insulation to keep her core warm while she swims.
A lot of open water swimmers arenât this chunky, but thatâs because most of them are actually triathletes, and their body type is a compromise between the ideals for the different sports.
There really is no one way to be fit and athletic. For some reason, we tend to get ourselves hung up on the body type of track and field athletes, especially that of marathon runners (who tend to carry almost no extra fat) as the ideal.
Dude HOLY FUCK sheâs a badass.

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Bollywood superstar Amitabh Bachchan pays off ÂŁ438,000 of debt owed by 1,398 farmers
Anyone else think he looks like Al Pacino?
(KUTV) â Volunteers keep stay busy cutting, sawing, and sanding little wooden cars at Tiny Tim's Toy Factory. But to see the true impact of this nonprofit, look inside Alton Thacker's office. He founded Tiny Tim's, and his office is covered in pictures of children all over the world who have received toys. "Sometimes it's just fun to come in and sit and look at the pictures, and remember the stories as they were told to me," Thacker said.
apparently my boss who is a professor at my school doesnât have a cell phone and his coworkers were upset by this so they bought him a childs toy phone and labeled it âDavidâs jitterbugâ (for those of you that donât know jitterbugs are phones made for old people that have like massive buttons and shit) so the other day I walked into his office to ask him a question and he pressed a button on it which made it start loudly playing the ABCs and he said âexcuse me I have to take thisâ and then started singing along to the ABCs while shooing me out of his office
this is the phone. he apparently was in the middle of a meeting with the department the other day and got annoyed so he pressed a button, said âI have to take thisâ and left
Davidâs co-workers probably: âThis is a valid tactic to embarrass him into buying a mobile phone, right?â
David: âBold of you to assume that I get embarrassed.â
Dance to anything
Someone spilled their dunkin donuts coffee in the school lobby so this kid got out his dunkin donuts uniform and started directing traffic around it saying things like âMaâam watch out, this is a DUNKIN DONUTS MATTERâ
when a security guard walked up to him to ask what he was doing the kid told him to stand back he was just doing his job

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Patrons of California shop buy doughnuts by the dozen to give owner time with wife
Dawn Caviola, 58, has been a regular of Donut City for the past 13 years â visiting twice a month with her daughter. But during her most recent visit she found out that John Chhan, 62, was maintaining the shop on his own because Stella Chhan, 63, had suffered an aneurysm in late September and was recovering at a rehabilitation center.
âI went home and I just couldnât get it out of my head,â Caviola told NBC News on Saturday. âThey are just such hardworking people.â
Caviola decided to write a blog post on the private community network, Nextdoor, to urge local residents to help.
âI have never done anything like that before but I just thought if everyone can just buy a dozen doughnuts, it might help him out. I didnât think it would become this big,â she said.
The blog post said that if they managed to buy out his inventory for the day, Chann could leave early to spend time with his wife.
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Thereâs a lot to unpack here. +the flexibility to get in that pose +the balance to stay on the skateboard +the strength to pull back a bowstring with your toes +the dexterity to hit a target while moving +the coordination⌠not hand-eye, but foot-eye âŚI donât know what to do with these things now that Iâve unpacked themâŚ