dont touch me

There was this guy in the 1800s - I can't remember his name, but his name is recorded somewhere - who honestly argued that if given the choice between a beautiful woman and a heron, deep down in their most earnest true heart, every man would rather fuck the heron. And he got mad when people denied this, continuing to deny this what he had decided must be an universal truth, instead of praising him for being the only one who was brave enough to finally say it out loud. Like he really thought that every single person telling him "Jesse what the hell are you talking about" was not only denying him, but denying themselves their true desires and perpetuating the apparently massive cultural lie that herons aren't fuckable.

THIS!!

this reminds me of that episode of friends where phoebe’s smoke detector won’t stop no matter what she does so she throws it down the trash chute and then the fire department shows up and is like ‘that’s bad’ and gives it back to her but then leaves without actually telling her how to turn it off which is literally just how drs are with chronic pain lol

The tulip fuck the buzzing bee that steals it sugars

Sometimes Twitter is kind of funny.

for context reasons, this is how a gif I used in a recent gifset looks like without any adjustments/coloring whatsoever:

I truly don’t think people realize how dingy and dark most movies and tv shows actually are so they can’t appreciate the work and skill it takes to make gifs look the way your brain “remembers” it looking.

yeah…

I had this demon deep within me the other day