Bad News Everyone...

"dog residue" post means so much to my ocd

ohhhh so THIS is the twisted fucking cycle path

"I wasted my 20s", cool man, just in time for all the gay sex and weird tattoos you're about to have in your 30s

Haters will see you put on a condom and say he can’t afford to raise a child

Why would you have sex with your haters randy

I’m not really in any position to be picky

one thing you need to know about 2014. is that what does the fox say was playing pretty much everywhere you went. and everybody was just relieved it wasn't blurred lines

I canot stress enough that those were the only 2 songs in 2014

snakes really make you appreciate how gross mammals really are. squamates are very dry and clean

a bird is a kind of reptile that has learned to be yucky.

I'm so old i remember when people liked using Windows

@dopplest

theres a whole album of song titles you can make just from the words of this tweet

this makes smoking weed sound so much cooler than it is