Larry Grotter

shoutout to blood we have a lot of it

if you are a game designer and you force me to kill wolves AND you have them make sad puppy noises I’m killing you

see this never happens in spider solitaire for windows

[ID: A tweet by @DothTheDoth that reads: "I respect the moon because it controls two of our most precious elements, oceans and wolves." End ID]

a President makes a new law that anyone shorter than him gets executed but he accidentally makes it an amendment to the constitution so it applies to future presidents too, in the next elections theres a frenzy of people voting for the shortest president so they dont die and this is how they end up electing a 3 foot tall man named Pinwheel Patrick who goes on to become the most tyrannical dictator the world has ever seen

tfw you just need your players to get to the damn quest already

"my wizard castle can move" "my wizard castle can fly" well MY wizard castle has heelies :)

*lights a cigar with a match and leans back in my plush leather chair, looking out through the blinds at the city. my fuckin city.*