Sunset Fields

girl falls into the machine's intake with a startled yelp but when she comes out the other end the only sound she can make is synthesized yipping

basketball players fight over the basketball because they are hypnotized before each game to believe it is their egg

you'll feel like a total dipshit train wreck and no matter what some girl is gonna see you and think "role model". you can't kill yourself you have to go be clocky in the gas station so a 14 year old can have the trajectory of her life altered forever

durandal, make these shells gay and start kissing and shit

I took my little brother (autistic, mostly non verbal) out and he was using his voice keyboard to tell me something, and this little boy (maybe 4 or 5?) heard him and asked me "Is he a robot??" I tried to explain to him that no, he isn't a robot, he just communicates differently, but my darling brother was in the background max volume "I am robot I am robot I am robot I am robot"

love the word “rapscallion”. like not only are you a rascal but you’re also kind of spring onion about it too

if i hire a bunch of concubines for my mind palace (to polish my scales, feed me grapes, lick cum off of the floor, etc.) does that make them like, tulpas? or is it a machine elves type deal.

met with the union rep, i learned its actually a freebee thing as long as the contract stipulations are met (airconditioned breakroom, time-and-a-half pay on holidays, all urinals must be made out of food-grade bronze).

what's it called when you want to kiss so many girls all the time

you can bet your ass if completely custom genitalia were a cheap and easy thing i would have a strange and unusual pussy situation

gynecologists HATE this one for its bioluminescent oyster pussy