one genre of fanfiction that seems to have mostly disappeared since i became an adult is shenanigans-type fics. like not exactly crack but just "the gang goes to 7-11" type, extremely low-stakes plot stories. the beach episodes of fanfiction. i just feel like i don't see those around so much anymore. whered they go. i miss them :(

remember to bury the dead with a phone, everyone. these days the ferry terminal at the river styx wants you to download a fucking app

Gotta make sure the phone is dead too though.

that's nonsense, why would it be cold at christmas, it doesn't even make sense? that's a festival about the birth of something??? obviously that happens in summer.

Excuse me?! What you guys doing calling the northern hemisphere "down there"?! We're north. That's UP on a map when it's oriented properly.

"it's just stress" oh thank god, it's just the silent killer that slowly kills you, perfectly harmless, no need to worry

we need another bidoof’s law to refer to the phenomenon where someone says some rude stupid shit in the reblogs of your post and you go to their blog and all their posts are about nature loving you and being kind to each other and cute illustrations about friendship etc. the cognitive dissonance

Fleming's law: the most toxic person you've ever met over-relates to woodland creatures on social media

if i had three wishes they would all be to make web 2.0 utterly illegal and go back to normal html

how do we explain to children that all our tech briefly worked perfectly and over time we threw it all away for sleek menus and corporate opacity

"we could give you a link to this mp3 OR we could run it in a proprietary player app that must connect to the internet every time you hit the resume button"

when i upgraded from a flip phone to an iphone and realized i could no longer record and set a custom ringtone because apple wanted me to buy radio pop ringtones, i realized, oh cool new tech isnt made for us it's made to exploit us and we are going to let it happen

I wonder if being bullied as a kid has any inoculating factors? like "I can do this now, because I could do this at 4 feet tall" type stuff. or does it just permanently make you into a quivery little prey animal? much to consider.

that poll going around of the guy who thought "people only eat tofu as a bit because they're deranged vegans" or whatever really crystalizes something that i have never been able to precisely say - which is "a nonzero fraction of people who start picky-eater discourse just happen to precisely hate those foods which are not from north america and refuse to introspect on this whatsoever"

In contrast some people say "there aren't any picky eaters in Asia 🙄" but this is laughably untrue. I have a cousin in India who refused until his 20s to eat anything in a sauce. as you can imagine in India this was difficult. he basically had to pick things out of curry and wipe them dry

This is actually so interesting to read- it’s from 2012 but its full of the same anxieties, even some of the same phrasing that many of the guardian’s later pieces on transness use. really hammers home how much of the terfism that emerged in the late 10s was middle class mothers angry at a loss of control over their adult children- whether that be their bodies or their friends or their opinions- and making that everyone’s problem because they have the power to do so

Also just the classism of her associating tattoos with “vest tops, dogs on chains, broken beer glasses”; like, just say you hate poor people

Both options convey that he's horny

How dare you be funnier than me on my own post

If it's the snack chip he might just be corny.

In retrospect, consider the number 1 thing every grade-schooler knows about plants is they take in light, the idea they might be able to see should not wreck my shit as hard as it does