Too Good For A Free Banana

Nothing has quite made me xenophobic as making polls on tumblr.com because the second you make one 500 non-americans get an alert on their phone and you can bet your bottom dollar that they're going to let you know, you stupid yank, that in their language math has a direct association with blue so asking what color you thought math was as a kid is a stupid question actually and you should just die.

I know this sounds like the deranged ramblings of a senile old man but I swear it used to be possible to look up information on the internet

Just insane to me how much of Europe thinks a/c is some wasteful luxury and not a growing safety concern.

Europeans, don't do it for comfort or safety or minimization of heat stroke deaths: do it to prevent giving Noah Smith or Matt Yglesias easy comparisons on European vs American quality of life. They're already dunking on you for not having dryers.

Fandom shit is just straight up not fun when everyone interprets everything in the worst possible faith and acts deliberately obtuse for the sole purpose of getting mad online

in all fairness, toddlers are funny as fuck. babies will cry because they are experiencing at least ten different senses for the first time all at once and it’s a bit overwhelming for them. fair enough. toddlers will make the most wretched sound you’ve ever heard because you wouldn’t let them run out into a car park and die

often you will see things online where you just have to be like "what a strange thing to say" or "i don't think that's true :)" to yourself and try to move on or you will lose your mind

Falkland Islands discourse really is the perfect litmus test for who is easily swayed by vibes and buzzwords.

One of the guys I worked with told us a story about how, when they were doing archaeology surveys in the woods they ran into a bigfoot hunter. Bigfoot guy asked if they had seen signs of bigfoot, and he was like "Sorry, nothing like that. We're archaeologists, so we're looking for human stuff." and the bigfoot guy was like "Oh! I saw some Native American cairns on my way out here. I can give you a general location." and when he was like "Yeah dude, that'd be sick. We're actually looking to document those." the bigfoot guy was like "Yeah, they looked pretty cool. I didn't touch them though, because Native Americans built them, not bigfoot."

the concept of cancelling people for supporting their country in the world cup is so fucking funny i’m sorry

people’s minds have been melted by the internet and performative activism discourse. they don’t actually care that countries have been ‘problematic’ (their fave word) in the past (name me one large country who hasn’t in one way or another seriously) they just want to guilt trip and cause discourse because for some reason being aware has circled back around to moral checking and thought policing in order to feel superior because everyone feels too watched on the internet and are just ultimately terrified to come across as a bad person, so it’s the safer option to act morally superior than voice an actual personally thought opinion

First my sister, now relentless Tumblr ads. Stop telling me to find Jesus! Im Jewish! I don't care that you lost him again, that's your problem!