two for joy

This sequence feels weird to me.

The way Steve is looking at Mjolnir there when he catches it, he lingers on it far longer than is necessary for someone who has already wielded it once before… It looks like he’s thinking: “it worked. I’m wielding Mjolnir.”

And then there’s that little smirk afterwards too… and you know who this mf looks like lowkey?

IM STARTING TO BELIEVE MY OWN MADNESS—

but most of the time, i feel like billy.

i was the elder sibling, made to look after the younger one. any time i fucked up some arbitrary thing, i was abused. people think i'm aggressive and too defensive when the problem is, i feel that people treat me like i'm not worth keeping around because my bad days erase every good thing about me in their minds. no matter how many times they've asked me to defend them, when i'm upset at something they've done, i can easily be written off.

billy and i both like loud, angry music when we feel too much. we feel stuck in the past and hollowed out by grief. we don't think we'll live to see happier days. we were both raised by bigoted families.

so when i say i know him and i love him anyway, it's because i know what it's like. i know that he could have become a better, kinder person if he'd had the chance to learn and grow. he wouldn't be perfect, but he isn't irredeemable.

because if he can't be redeemed, i can't. and i don't think that's true.

billy deserved better.

I'd previously read Rieu's translation, and I recall not enjoying it much (it might also have been because the physical copy I own was printed quite poorly).

Reading Fagles' one now in preparation for the film (not that I need it, but it's as good excuse as any to get re-immersed), which I'm enjoying thus far!

I also heard that Wilson came out with a more accessible version a few years ago, but I've seen really mixed reviews for that, which is interesting. Is it because it modernises the story, or is the actual way it reads so-so?

you've seen the jokes. india is "dirty", indians are "everywhere", why don't they fix their own country. ok. let me tell you why, and what's happening right now while nobody's watching.

first, the history you skipped: britain ruled india for two centuries and drained it. economist utsa patnaik's research estimates around $45 trillion in today's money was taken. the india that got independence in 1947 was one of the poorest countries on earth. every "why is india like this" question starts there. you don't get to profit off a robbery and then mock the crime scene.

now, what's happening RIGHT NOW:

in may the question paper for NEET leaked. that's the national medical entrance exam. over 2.2 million students took it. cancelled. years of studying, families' savings poured into coaching, gone overnight because someone sold the paper. students died by suicide after. these were kids who wanted to be doctors.

and out of that came a protest movement. a gen z group called the cockroach janta party, started by a 30 year old named abhijeet dipke, got 22 million instagram followers within DAYS. they've been doing a sit-in at jantar mantar in delhi demanding education minister dharmendra pradhan resign.

and then there's sonam wangchuk. if you've watched 3 idiots, he's the real engineer the character was based on. built solar schools in ladakh. invented ice stupas so himalayan villages have water. spent his whole life on education. he's 59 and he's been on hunger strike for 17+ days now. reporters went to see him this week and he was too weak to talk. and the troll armies are calling him "anti national" and "foreign funded". a man starving himself for other people's children. that's the thing here, anyone who asks a question is suddenly a traitor.

it's not one incident, it's everywhere you look:

• infrastructure worth thousands of crores failing within months of the ribbon cutting. tunnels collapsing in regions where heavy rain is a guarantee, not a surprise.

• youth unemployment near 10% for ages 15 to 29, 13.6% in cities. in a country of 1.42 billion where more than half the population is young.

• only about the top 3% of indians earn above 10 lakh a year. meanwhile billionaire wealth keeps ballooning and the headlines celebrate it.

• manipur burned for over two years. an ethnic conflict, tens of thousands displaced, and the prime minister barely said the word manipur while it happened.

• journalists raided. critics' houses bulldozed. activists sitting in jail for years without trial under laws like UAPA. our press freedom ranking has cratered.

• even the petrol is a fight now, ethanol blending pushed through while drivers complain about their engines and get no straight answers.

and through all of it, the PM, who came to power on religious polarisation (americans, sound familiar?), travels abroad for photo ops and has not held one single open press conference in over a decade. not one.

what i'm asking:

if you're not indian: share this. our media mostly won't cover any of it because the big outlets are owned by the same billionaires the government serves. the only reason wangchuk's fast is getting any coverage is people refusing to look away.

if you ARE indian: speak up even if you're comfortable. especially if you're comfortable. join the protests. add to this, correct me, translate it. staying quiet is a choice when nothing in this post touches your life.

india is not "dirty". india was robbed, and it's being robbed again, from the inside this time. but it's also the country where a 59 year old will starve for strangers' kids and 22 million young people will rally behind a party literally named after cockroaches, because cockroaches survive everything.

we can still save her. but only loudly.