Just Like Winnie the Pooh.

as part of my reform package, i promise to turn all rich people into furries, so instead of spending all their money on superyachts they spend it on commissions, which have a significantly higher rate of economic recirculation and a significantly lower carbon pawpr

but theres gonna be a lot of inflation

you put that sentence back in your mouth

Oh I'm getting that bookmark when it comes out 🤗

My Chemical Romance is anti-war but pro-getting in a knife fight with your homoerotic rival in an alley behind a catholic church in New Jersey

I burst out laughing. BJORNG.

Never have I ever reblogged something so fast and wholeheartedly BE A BITCH IF IT MEANS BEING SAFE, THEY AIN’T WORTH IT

in a swamp

or in a bog

there’s nothing finer

than a frog 🐸

in the mud

or by the road

there’s nothing slicker

than a toad!!

in a shoe

or in a boot

there’s nothing neater

than a newt!

in the moss

or in a pail

there’s nothing dearer

than a snail 🐌

By the lamp

Or on a cloth

There’s nothing sweeter

than a Moth!

In the grass

By the lake

There is nothing sneakier

Than a snake 🐍

when you

hrngh

you

concept: a game called “john mulaney or cecil palmer?” where you have to guess if a quote was said by popular stand-up comedian john mulaney or fictional radio host cecil gershwin palmer

this might sound easy, but please keep in mind that john mulaney has said “whoa, that tall child looks terrible! get some rest, tall child! you can’t keep burning the candle at both ends!” and cecil palmer has said “alligators: can they kill your children? yes.”

John has said “🎶Because we’re Delta Airlines, and life is a fucking nightmare! 🎶” and Cecil has said “Delta Airlines, because it’s not like you’re safe anywhere else.”

A concept: John Mulaney is a former radio host from Night Vale

girls with muscles are sooooo good and girls with a lil chub and girls with lots of chub and girls with no chub and fat girls and thin girls and muscular girls and “average” girls and just wow girls 11/10 i love girls

Enter your URL into this site to see if your blog has content that warrants permanent deletion