Chuckle Inducers

The assassin you sent after me is part of my found family now

she asked me if i believed in god and i told her that when i was four i almost drowned in a public pool and in my panic mistook a stranger for my father. i clawed my way up his leg. four years later he’d send my parents a picture of the scars alongside a tin of cookies. he said, “i hope she’s still okay. i carry her with me. it isn’t every day you save a life. it isn’t every day you feel like you were here for a reason. when it does happen, you have to cherish that memory. for once, i had a purpose. just being there was enough. she tore me open but she taught me a lot about love.”

HEY! please reblog this post with your favorite dog picture

Stuffed animals are legally considered people under monster law. You were never alone.

Your mom finding her friend at a store is like unskippable cutscenes

The fucking worst is that as I get older i completly understand the interest to catch up an unreasonable long time because turns out adults just dont get enough time to hang with friends, so catch up next to the Aldi cheese aisle it is

you can see the increasing age of tumblr users, these posts are like tree rings.

Thank you so much for rescuing him :’)