As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.

*uses my thumbs to lift my bra straps like an old timey political man would with his suspenders* im the mayor of titty city, bitch

another fine post from god herself

men arent allowed to thirst over megan fox by the way. dont even look at her bro

sharpay was right: this is not what i want. this is not what i planned. and i just gotta say. i Do Not understand

my favorite thing about queer eye is just the abstract idea that if you don’t moisturize then 5 gay men are going to storm into your home and absolutely obliterate you on a personal level

last night I stress-dreamed I was trying to organize a union for Instagram influencers

We were in a meeting and I was trying to get everyone to vote on and amount for annual dues and every few minutes some sort of completely irrelevant drama unfolded. It was like a bad comedy sketch. At some point this girl raised her hand and said “I’m sorry to bring this up now but someone leaked your nudes” and I was like “I’ve never even taken any nudes” and she said “damn. That’s just how it is in this business.” And everyone nodded like that made sense and. A guy said we should do something to fight back like start some sort of group with legal power and I started screaming

Maybe we don’t hear as much about organized crime these days because they’ve gotten REALLY organized.

sir you are referring to the government 

h8 when people tell me i had a bad childhood bc i didn’t enjoy many cartoons. i had a wonderful childhood. i forced the lizards outside to marry one another. i didn’t know it wasn’t legally binding.

the delivery of this joke makes it 50 times better like you have to actually hear it it will kill you

What the FUCK

[1920′s gangster voice] every single one’a you’s…… every single one’a you’s is valid…….

t’anks boss