I could tell stories of how I left without closure, stupid teenage love, or messy break-ups in the past.
But I need to find a way to tell this story. The one about finding love, more love, and unlearning, then learning again to love someone. And this is about one person only. Not that because it is hard, but it is still going, and lots of improvements need to be made.
New love is always one thing that sparks people. Finding love when you haven't found one is easy to describe and fun to tell. It feels ecstatic and narcotic. Every touch is another level of high. Every kiss is addicting. Every move is relaxed and joyful. The more mess comes on it, the more amusing it is.
But what about love that is relatively old? Do you find love where you always put it? Well, yes. It's like finding keys in the drawer, as they should be, or finding a Tylenol in the medicine box. It feels mundane, but somehow, it brings a lot of comfort. It's like that thing is always there right where you need it. The kind of happiness that love brings is not ecstatic anymore. It's healing. The touch, the kiss, and the moves in between are curing. The more mess, the more it brings headaches where over-the-top sex is the best cure.
With this old love, you have to unlearn-learn how to love someone. For me, the past six years have definitely not been easy. You think that the love will always stay like that. But you both grew, your surroundings changed and then you were renewed. Then, the love must be somehow readjusted. The way you give love and the way you provide love may no longer be the same.
Love, in general, is easy, sure I agree. But loving, where you put two heads, two bodies, and two souls living together, is not always easy. It could be challenging. You always need to make sure you're both on the same page. And that requires you both to like the book and keep up with each other's pace. Well, in short, you just have to make it work.
Honestly, the miracle stops in the beginning. The rest is yours to work onâthe date night, the conversation, the sex, the kiss, the touchâall of them require lots and lots of effort and time.
I'm not saying that it is all scary. If it scares you and you want to back off, you are not ready. You are ready when it scares you, and you still want to go on. This could be because you have your partner's trust, which plays a huge part in starting a long-lasting love anyway.
But somehow, in the midst of everything, the kindness and the purity of love stay the same. You could be mean to each other (of course). But the kindness stays the same when you get back to each other.
We were both surprised about walking this far, yet this was something we had expected in the beginning. Our love survived things I cannot put into words. I am in awe of our love. There are times when I am utterly scared. But with time, we got better at loving each other (hopefully).
I am not saying that my love or my marriage is perfect. I'm saying that I put a lot of effort into them, and one should never stop.
And I like my love accessible. There when I need it. So, let us be there for each other.