h

really tired of being governed by a death cult undergoing mass psychosis who thinks its their duty to bring about the apocalypse and im not being hyperbolic

genuinely how are you supposed to know when a conversation is over. Must everything be some sort of puzzle

to be honest, kitten doesnt know how many more “ok 💗 yay 💗”s they have left in them

“A dead parrot from the hot weather.. :(” “Ah, no. It’s a corn.”

"all you ever do is complain" that's not true. I also resent.

crazy how there are only 2 hours of doing things every day before you keel over and die. if this werent normal id be worried

hey sorry for being so snappish earlier i was in a bad mood. and im still in a bad mood so can you fuck off

When I see shirtless male joggers I want to hit them with my car

going on a guilt trip do yall want anything

if you really cared about me you wouldn't have to ask

wanna hang out [remembers it's rude to put expectations on people] it's cool if not [remembers people like to know they're wanted] but I'd really like it if you did [remembers selfishness is bad] we can do whatever you want though [remembers that handing someone a blank canvas isn't as effective as providing a suggestion to bounce ideas off of] like sucking each others fingers for example

Keep salting the wound I'm close

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Happy 10 year anniversary to this absolutely foundational post

#really cannot emphasize enough how much iguanamouth changed the site’s sense of humor and therefore the timeline of the western world