he's just a boy

◽️- sadfic

behind the mask ☆ (chapters: one, two , three )

baby blue dress

i love you ◽️

chapter four

author's notes: I was discouraged with the fanfic and insecure but I rewrote it and here it is

warnings: loneliness ?? light flirting

Darth Vader's castle on Mustafar was huge and lush. But you never cared about that. But now, you hoped that all that greatness would help her avoid him. And also, Vader always had a lot of tasks, or someone was talking and talking in his head, or he was meditating, or...

But there was never enough time for you. And you were tired of it. And knowing that he was in the company of another woman increased his insecurity. This insecurity made you act like a child.

You knew and felt that he was looking for you, but you always turned away, entered another huge corridor when he came marching around. This was testing his patience.

You continued to ignore the communications he sent you, not starting by asking but then ordering you to meet. And to avoid meeting him, you didn't even leave your room, but that was okay because it was big enough. You even had a view of that lava sea. Wow.

And when you went out it always had to be in the company of some stupid Stormtrooper. Being alone gave you time to reflect on many things, even the Stormtroopers and their boring lives.

Wearing that outfit, everyone was so equal and seemed to have no emotions or opinions. Well, that's what you thought until you met one Stormtrooper in particular - Jamie.

- Today I will accompany you on your walk - He said, in your first contact, with the blaster in his hand but not scary.

You sighed and rolled your eyes but you were tired of being hidden, Vader wasn't looking for you and being alone only brought you bad feelings.

- Come on, I promise it won't be that bad - the soldier nudged you and walked ahead, you found it curious but funny.

And maybe it was the loneliness and lack of friends, but shortly after you were opening up and telling about your security to a Stormtrooper, who until then was a stranger.

- So... - You took a breath to continue, you were in dining area and he gave you some water - Thank you. Can I call you Jamie?

He seemed surprised by the question and laughed.

- I'm not used to nicknames, just my identification number. But if that's what you want...

- Thank you for accompanying me on my walk, as this is not the main activity of a Stormtrooper - You say a little embarrassed, knowing that you are taking up his time.

- It's true, I was trained to be a warrior and not a tour guide, but I'm going to try to do well at that too - You laugh together at the worried way he says - but don't worry, because of you, I'm having a great afternoon!

You didn't know if he was lying but that really touched you.

- Thank you Jamie... You know, sometimes I feel like I'm left over here, that I'm nothing more than a title for Darth Vader's wife.

- You are much more than that. You are Darth Vader's wife for many reasons.

You smile because he looked like he was trying to comfort you. But especially these last few days, you had low self-esteem.

- It is serious. Everyone talks about you here. About how smart and compassionate you are. And I know Lord Vader loves you - he continues.

- I don't know - You think out loud.

You give him the glass of water back and wait for him to return so they can continue their walk.

It's not like there was much to do, but you liked walking down the halls and handing out compliments, seeing how everyone was doing at their job, if everything was going well, and encouraging them to keep going.

- Jamie - You called him and he looked at you, he had really picked up the name for himself - In a short time you praised me more than my husband...

- Madam, sometimes he has difficulty expressing his feelings. Don't take it personally. I know you are important to him - he says.

- Is it Jamie? I'm upset with him. But I also can't express myself. He doesn't seem to want contact at the moment.

- Maybe he's going through something difficult right now. Continue to show your love and affection to him. Believe me, he can see that.

Jamie seemed so sure in his words, more sure than yourself. For a moment it's as if you had no reason to be like this, but your heart hurts so much.

- I try to understand... but it's also difficult for me. I need to feel loved - you open up.

You feel the Stormtrooper's hand on your shoulder, making you stop walking. You are in a corridor where there don't seem to be many people passing by.

Jamie takes off his helmet, revealing his face. He was a young man with fair skin, black hair and blue eyes. On his handsome face he carried a burn, probably from the battlefield.

- If he is unable to show you his love, pay attention to small gestures. A look. One word. Maybe, that's his language - His voice without the helmet sounds so deep and loving, and it makes you sensitive - Can I give you some advice?

- Of course, say it.

- Your happiness should not depend on Vader, or anyone else! You are strong, intelligent and independent. You have to find your own happiness in small gestures and in yourself. This is the only way to find genuine happiness. It doesn't depend on anyone else. You understood?

Those words from the man made your eyes fill with tears, which you couldn't hold back. The Stormtrooper surprised you and even though it wasn't allowed - you both knew damn well it wasn't - he hugged you.

-Everything will be fine, I promise-Jamie assured you, close to your ear.

You continue in silence sobbing and leaving all your tears on the boy's chest.

- No one should go through this. You're not just Darth Vader's wife. You are a formidable, intelligent, and so beautiful woman! You deserve all the love and affection in this world - He seems disgusted to see you cry when you stop hugging each other.

- D-Do you think I'm beautiful? - Not just beautiful, you are a queen - Jamie praises you with a wide smile.

You blush and your whole body heats up, unaccustomed to being praised like that.

- Thanks. You really made my day, but I think we better go back now - you says embarrassed.

You stay in a comfortable silence but your face remains red. As he approaches his quarters he says:

- If you need me, I'm always here to talk or just spend some time.

- So can I make you my personal guard? - you joke but he agrees.

n/a: sorry for the delay, but here we are with the third chapter

chapter three

A while has passed since you last saw the man in his armor. You no longer knew how to count how many days. In fact, I was already used to it when Vader went on missions. It wasn't like he could spend all day walking hand in hand with you, he had an empire to take care of.

And longing wasn't really the reason you were now walking through the ship's corridors looking for information. Well, not only that!

Vader didn't talk much about Darth Sidious, it's not like he needed to talk much. The reports were horrible and you hated him a lot, firstly for having forced your father to sell you to him as a slave (but Vader took pity and took you as his wife), and secondly because you knew how Sidious tortured your husband emotionally and physically. And now once again this appears to have happened. Vader was somewhere injured "learning a lesson".

- Can I help you, ma'am? - You hear the robotic voice of a droid and turn around.

- Yes, of course. Give me information about Lord Vader.

- What types of information exactly?

- Why isn't he here yet? - you asks a little impatiently. - Oh yeah. It seems that Lord Vader, because of his disobedience was severely punished.

Your heart hurts with worry, and your breathing becomes unregulated. Vader's health was already limited after Mustafar. These types of "lessons" could just take your husband away from you forever!

- Where is he? Is he really hurt? What did he do?

You ask everything at once, and you don't even notice that he is raising his voice and drawing the attention of everyone who passes by. The droid simply tells you to follow him. He takes you to a small meeting room. When the droid told you everything that had happened, you listened attentively, just nodding your head and repeating that you wanted to see him.

But the information given was that he, Vader, didn't want to see you. He still wasn't ready to let you stay by his side during such a sensitive moment. You tried to understand, but you still felt upset. Even more so because of the other information that was given to him. "He was in the company of a former servant of his late wife."

(...)

You sighed irritably, staring at your own reflection, combing your hair before going to the specific room for meals. You didn't like eating there, and preferred to eat in your room. It's not like it was very different from that huge, empty room where you ate most of the time alone. If you had to listen to someone from the Empire kissing your ass today... You could kill that person.

But it wasn't a stupid room that was making you angry, it was the fact that you knew who Vader spent the last few days with. Did you ask yourself: How similar were they? Does he have some kind of relationship with this woman? Was she a lover? Or were you the lover?

Now will you be exchanged for her? His thoughts were interrupted by the click of his bedroom door opening.

You didn't even realize it took so long for a droid to come get you. You liked that one in particular because he was more chatty and it wasn't like you could trust many humans!

- We're here, ma'am - he announces and opens the door. You thank him and enter that boring, white and undecorated room.

There was a lot of food on the table, which was a waste because you didn't have an appetite. Your stomach churned with emotions as you stopped thinking about that waste of food and looked at the room itself.

Then you saw it. The Sith himself, Darth Vader was sitting there in a chair on the other side of the table, motionless in all that armor.

- Hello wife - He greets you in his modulated voice, as if nothing had happened.

You continue standing in the same place, and you are shocked at how he could come and say just that after having left you so worried. So many tears you shed. This man is a...

- I can hear your thoughts, I wish I remembered - Vader says without any emotion.

- And I would appreciate it if you didn't - You answer him seriously and sit down, preferring to look at the table than at the man you were missing.

- I thought you would have a different reaction when you saw me - Vader observes after a while, as you remain silent.

He really must have been finding it strange, you were usually very happy when Vader showed up to accompany you to your meals. You thought the gesture was beautiful, because he couldn't literally eat with you, but he offered his company and you talked a lot during those moments. But not now, you couldn't understand your own emotions. You missed him every day, and now that he was there... you was upset! Why was he with that woman? That bitch ...

- ENOUGH - Vader slams his fist on the table, you close your eyes because of the noise - Never refer to any of Padmé's servants that way again!

- AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU NOT TO INVADE MY THOUGHTS! - You scream back, more hurt by it all.

Vader stands up and starts walking towards you, his breathing getting louder. You get up too and face him without fear.

- What's happening with you? Why are you acting like this? - He asks.

- I have the right to act like this when my husband almost dies and I discover that he was in the company of a woman from his past!

You don't give him any more opportunity to say anything. He just turns and leaves that room, leaving him alone and reflecting on his words.