Vienna Waits For You🤍

Are you looking for a fantasy book to read with the found family trope?

- Do you love world building, epic adventures, and magic?

- Do you like relatable stories with mature themes?

- Do you love tropes like friends to lovers, enemies to lovers, whump, multiple point of views, pirates, love triangles, and hurt comfort?

- Do you love books like Six of Crows, Throne of Glass, and The Cruel Prince?

If you love all of those things, check out my fantasy novel, The Queen of Golden Flame! It is a completed book I’ve been working on for the past four years and love dearly. If you find yourself interested in all of the things above, please check it out in the link below! Would love to hear some feedback!🩷

(Note: This is just a short oneshot that I thought of when I was talking to my friend)

Kaz was more vulnerable around the Dregs than he realized. The only reason he didn’t realize is because none of the Dregs ever brought it up. Kaz Brekker had a reputation to uphold, and they were not going to deal with angry Kaz if word spread of his vulnerability. Besides, sometimes they had to remind themselves that Kaz was still just a kid, and sometimes he just needed a nudge in the right direction.

They all were aware of Kaz’s horrible sleeping habits. There had been many nights where one of the Dregs had gone to get a drink late into the night in the Slat’s sorry excuse for a kitchen and found him stumbling around, mumbling to himself as if he were drunk.

Most times they would avoid it, knowing that it would only make Dirtyhands angry if they pointed it out to him, but sometimes they couldn’t avoid it. Some days it would get to a point where they would find him completely spaced out, shaking so badly from the amount of caffeine coursing through him that he couldn’t seem to stand up straight.

They never touched him, never dared lay a hand on him. Normally they wouldn’t even address the situation. They would simply take the coffee away and guide him back to his office and tell him to get some rest. Normally when he was that out of it it surprisingly worked, and the next morning he would act as if nothing happened. That was if he even remembered the encounter.

Other times someone would walk into his office to find him pacing like a madman. The room would be torn to shreds, papers and books scattered over the floor, items in places they shouldn’t be. In those situations they would ask what he was working on and they would attempt to ease his racing mind about the case, hoping that it would calm him down.

It was only the ones that paid close attention to Kaz Brekker that noticed when he would lock himself in his room. They knew it was one of two things; He was sick (which Kaz Brekker hardly ever got sick), or he was having a panic attack. On those days they would force anyone away who tried to see him, claiming that he had fallen ill and did not want to be bothered.

Even Per Haskell had his moments where he had to play father figure for Kaz. It was mostly when Kaz was young and had first joined the Dregs, when Haskell was more interested in his gang and not just in it for the money. He knew that Kaz would work himself to death if he could, so there was a few occasions where he had to be the one to tell Kaz to go home. He knew that Kaz would obey if he ordered him to do so, so that’s just what he did.

Don’t imagine how Kaz would’ve reacted if Inej had died.

Don’t imagine him watching as the life faded from her eyes and she went home to her Saints.

Don’t imagine him doing anything he could to keep her there and refusing to believe that she died because ‘She’s the Wraith. She can do anything.’

Don’t imagine him trying to hold himself together while the others are around him, not sure if they should comfort him or leave him be.

Don’t imagine him climbing up the stairs to the Slat by himself, not bothering to use the railing.

Don’t imagine him getting to his office and it’s only when he sees Inej’s perch on the window sill that he loses it.

Don’t imagine Kaz destroying his office, knocking over furniture and papers and all of his hard work, screaming in anger and pain.

Don’t imagine him crumpling to the ground in defeat and sobbing into his trousers.

Don’t imagine the others finding him curled up on the ground like that.

Don’t imagine Kaz locking himself in his office for days.

Don’t imagine when he finally leaves he goes on a rampage, killing and stealing from any merchant that had ever gotten in his or Inej’s way.

Don’t imagine him letting himself get taken by the Staadwatch.

Don’t imagine them finding him with his gloves on after years without wearing them.

It being the first good sleep he’s had in a long time.

Inej gently shaking his shoulder, hating to wake him up but knowing that they’ve got to get back to the Slat.

Kaz, still half asleep, seeing Inej and lifting his arms to her like a toddler wanting to be carried.

Like, making grabby hands and all.

He hasn’t slept in a few days and it’s getting to him.

Kaz accidentally calling Colm ‘Da’ and not even realizing it.

If we go off of when Crooked Kingdom was published...

(Note: This takes place after CK, and by the time that Kaz is getting comfortable with touch. This could take place in the span of years because I don’t think that Kaz cries that often. And this is if Matthias had lived)

Inej: Kaz hardly ever cries in front of Inej. Maybe it’s from old habits, but he hates crying in front of her. He hates being weak in front of her and worrying her. He’s only cried a few times in front of her, only sniffles and stray tears, but she holds him close and whispers reassurances in his ear. Of course she checks to make sure that he is okay with her touching him first.

Jesper: Jesper is one of the people that Kaz would actually go to when he is vulnerable. Jesper is obsiously like a brother to Kaz, and I feel like after years of knowing each other he would be comfortable with Jesper seeing him in such a state. Normally whenever Kaz cries Jesper pulls him into a hug and doesn’t let him go until he knows that it’s okay. It’s quiet and still, but his grip is reassuring and strangely calming for him. It reminds Kaz of Jordie when they were kids. It feels safe.

Nina: Nina is the other person that he would go to. I feel like after CK Kaz and Nina gained a strong friendship. Whenever she would be in Ketterdam and he couldn’t seem to hold himself together, he seemed to always find his way to her door. It was almost always at ungodly hours of the night, and she always knew that it was him. Nina would sit him down and make him tea and biscuits, and would sit with him and drink her tea while he just tries to breathe. It’s the silence and warmness of her presence that calms him. He doesn’t need her to touch him or talk to him to feel calm, it just is.

Matthias: Matthias only ever saw Kaz cry once. He had been having a panic attack, alone in his office when Matthias opened the door and saw him there. The Fjerdan froze, confused and shocked. Kaz Brekker was crying. He couldn’t believe it. But then realization hit that Kaz Brekker was crying. Matthias would wait for Kaz to yell at him and demand that he leave, but when he doesn’t he just closes the door and slowly walks over to him. He wraps Kaz in a big hug, and Kaz is shocked because he’s so big yet so strangely gentle. He tells him to “Breathe demjin. Breathe.” And Kaz just laughs because Matthias of all people is comforting him? This had to be a joke. But his panic attack stopped, and so did his crying.