You can call me Suleika. Aspiring writer. Lover of FF8 and Stardew Valley and other nice things. 36, she/her.
ao3: suleikas_hideaway
Singin' side blog: kitchentunes
He had been given the freedom to choose his life, to dictate his path, and this is what it led to.
—
And so, the end of Part I.
It feels so monumental to have gotten this far. Not only have I published almost 100,000 words, but a third of this story that means so much to me.
Thank you for sharing the journey <3
The journey is far from over, of course! I’ll probably take a little while to organize part 2 so I can get into a regular posting schedule. And as you probably know I live in the US and have been a liiiiitle bit distracted trying to figure out my place in the revolution. I hope you understand 🙂
More about Time Will Tell under the cut!
Fic Summary: Carefree, fun-loving, passionate, free spirited, can also mean impulsive, reckless, obsessive, thoughtless. Rinoa Heartilly is learning the dangers of her own personality, and who she will become if she continues down this path.
Squall Leonhart is fully awake now, no longer a pawn in someone else’s plan. He’s ready to take charge of his own fate. But what if fate has other plans?
Tags: Angst with a happy ending, Fluff in early chapters, Self discovery, Navigating relationships, Depression, Anxiety, PTSD, Codependency, Sexual content, Drug & Alcohol use, Canon-typical violence, Debunking a fan theory, Friendship, Fandom blind, Post-canon, What is time anyway, Fate & Destiny, Tags to be added
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Fandom: Final Fantasy VIII
Pairing: Squall Leonhart/Rinoa Heartilly
Rating: E (plot with porn!)
Words: 23,238
Summary: It is Squall's first official day back as Balamb Garden's SeeD Commander, and he already knows he has his work cut out for him. The future looks both promising and uncertain, yet pushback from dissenting SeeDs has him questioning if staying is worth the trouble at all. Headmaster Cid has a surprising proposition involving Rinoa; a choice that could irrevocably change the trajectory of her life forever.
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It's finally done. It's here. And it's BIG AGAIN goshdangabit lmao.
I'm going to go outside and scream in a field for a bit.
Hopefully this chapter hits! <3
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UNPOPULAR OPINION: A lot of "mental health issues" disappear when bills are paid, rent is secure, and the fridge is full. Peace is expensive. And pretending money doesn't affect mental health is privilege.
I was 13 or 14. My grandmother bought me a book by an Italian author for my birthday. I loved that book, but didn't like its ending, and I wrote my own on an old notebook.
Years later, after finishing FFVIII and finding an Italian site with its strategy guide, I saw the fan section of that site with fanarts and fanfiction, so I decided to start writing some too. I stopped for a few years after my mother passed, then I started writing back in 2021 and basically never stopped since then.
Ooh thanks for the tag! 💜
I think I might've been 9 or 10? I was absolutely obsessed with The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time (I still am, but I was, too, lmao) and, discovering the joys of the early (accessible) internet, I found a fan website dedicated to it and the franchise as a whole (still remember the url somehow!! It was teamsavezelda.com!!) and there was a 'fan art & fan fiction' tab. The concept of 'continuing the story' and imagining what happened next after the end of the game was blowing my mind, and I spent SO much time reading fan fiction, printing them out, reading at school, in my room, and just about anywhere.
Eventually I myself decided to write some, and it was decidedly pretty fucking awful if I do say so myself, luckily those weren't posted anywhere. 😆 It would be a couple years later that I'd find fanfiction.net (and adultfanfiction.net huehue) and there I posted some (slightly less awful, but still pretty damn fucking bad) LoZ stuff! Wrote some stuff very sporadically over the years, mostly LoZ, some Devil May Cry... and THEN, since 2022 I've been diving headfirst into FFVIII, a game that's been central to my teenage years (and a hyperfixation) that I never thought I would feel comfortable writing about, on account of its sheer complexity and details! It's been a wonderful journey so far and I don't intend to stop anytime soon (even though life happens and I'm S L O W with my writing lmao)
I'm tagging @irishais, @gardengalwrites and @suleikashideaway 💜☺👀
Lol, I accidentally reblogged this without even replying. Okay, second attempt:
Hello, beautiful friends! Hello @tr1ck5, thank you for tagging me. Omg I've missed you and hope you're doing well! By extension, my same warm greetings to @angelosearch and @suleikashideaway. We used to have a blast in these tag games, which were honestly so insightful and eye-opening and always gave me new depths of appreciation for y'all, my awesome fandom friends.
Very similar answer as you, tricks! I was blown away by the concept of continuing the story. Got into fanfiction.net and the FFVIII fandom in the early 2000s. Never really tried to write my own fic until four years ago, during a period of unemployment. It became an instant addiction! Posting has slowed down significantly (life can be draining sometimes) but I'm still here and I'm still going. Thanks everyone, for your amazing support and love!
I tag anyone who is reading this, whoever is excited to participate!
Oh yay yay yay! Thank you for the tag. I miss these tag games. They really are so insightful!
I remember the day I decided to write. I must have been 12. My friend had given me her old laptop. Now this was back in the day -- this brick of a laptop only had solitaire and a basic word processor. I had consumed a lot of fiction by that point, and often inserted myself into the worlds and ideas of what I read. And I was highly, highly sensitive and very much alone.
I decided to write my escape from my life. I wrote of a girl who belonged somewhere else, who had magic powers and a family who cared for her and understood her. This theme continued on in many different iterations of my original fiction throughout my teenage years, and then I discovered ✨fanfiction✨
My own fanfiction, for the most part, delved deep into study of the characters I found most interesting, or needing further development. But my heart found it's way back to the good ol' self-insert in Rinoa Heartilly. I've always found FF8 to be unbelievably captivating, and the various iterations of how Rinoa develops post-game had such a psychological hold on me that I FINALLY wrote my first real dive into her story. Hoo boy I had no idea how big that was for me. It made my writing explode, and here we are today!
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
Love is hard to find, especially when you’re not looking for it. But in the age of dial-up and digital personal ads, sometimes it shows up in your inbox anyway. In life, Squall and Rinoa are at odds. But online, they’re falling in love. Could it be that the best way to meet someone is to never meet at all?
[Inspired by the 1998 Nora Ephron film “You’ve Got Mail” and a deep nostalgia for the internet/world of the late 90s.]
—-
Hello friends! Hopping into your feed to tell you I have been writing in the background of all my grad school craziness (it keeps me sane) and I FINALLY started posting this AU I started. Uh. A year ago. I am not quite done writing it yet but I have a clear vision for the rest and the ending. Here is chapter 1 and chapter 2 is in the final stage of editing.
Also, thank you to @tr1ck5 for helping out with the title! :)
I'm...way less frustrated than what I wrote in my last post. And way less online than I've been in a long time.
It was six months ago I wrote that frustrated post...the world I wanted, the life I wanted, felt just out of reach, and every setback felt self-inflicted.
I'm struggling to define what happened exactly that changed my outlook. (Not that I'm like a dramatically different person, just...slightly more content.) I know a big influence was the online support group I joined for chronic illness. Having people to chat with who understand the frustration and can share ideas and commiserate and help each other through the rough times...It's bigger than I thought. It's almost like having a support system is actually beneficial. Who would have thought?!?!??
I'd be remiss to discount my own progress, though. Not just health-wise (my slow/steady PT has been working even though I'm not "perfect" at it, and some new medical treatments are starting to show improvement), but work in therapy has been huge.
I laughed out loud when I thought about how to put these changes into words because -- get this -- it's all about TIME. Honest-to-god my understanding of time has changed. EMDR therapy, with my one-in-a-million therapist, has shifted how I move through my life.
Something we talk about all the time in my sessions is how time is not linear. We move through our lives, with different developmental stages and events slowly shaping us. But we revisit those stages and events regularly.
Remind you of anyone!?!!? AHEM SQUALL LEONHART WATCHING HIMSELF AS A SMALL BOY CRYING ABOUT HIS SISTER LEAVING--
Anyway. This shift has kind of...brought me to life. And with minimal physical improvements to go along with it, I've been touching grass, as they say. I have slowly been writing my next chapter of life by doing things on my own terms. I wanted to roller skate, so I saved up and got roller skates. I want to make memories with my kids, so I organize my time accordingly. I want to feel the earth beneath me and see the sky above me, so I turn off the screen and go outside. I listen to the cues my body gives me and I adjust accordingly. I just do it. There's no guilt, or pressure.
The funny part is that this makes me lose track of time. This is hilarious to me. I plan just enough to get through the next day and the rest is POOF a mystery. I keep trying to plan a trip to visit my bestie in NY in July and ummmmm it's almost July and I haven't even looked at tickets. So far this inability to see past today hasn't been disastrous. Super important stuff is in the calendar so I'm not missing doctors appointments, etc.
Anyway. I have SO MUCH fuel for writing, and very little awareness of how long it's been since I've written. On a practical note, I used to write during very specific circumstances (namely when both of my kids were at gymnastics at the same time and I was forced to sit in the lobby for a straight hour -- it was the perfect motivation). Gymnastics is done, and we've moved on to swimming, which I'm more fond of. But the little one is not quite ready for the level of the older one, so I don't have that guaranteed hour. I'm trying not to pressure the little one but oooooohhhhh it would be nice to have them both in swim class at the same time. I've convinced her to try out next week. I think she's ready, but she's a nervous little sweet potato.
I know, I know, I could find other times to write. Can I, though?? I've already proven to myself that I can't really get work done at home. I used to write at home when my thoughts/emotions were pouring out of me uncontrollably. The thoughts are all out now. (Hahah is my head empty?) They just need to be better organized. Which I enjoy doing! I just need the solid focus and body doubling of sitting in a crowded lobby or coffee shop.
I'm going on for way too long but honestly it feels good to let my fingers dance across the keys again. And it's doing the thing where my thoughts are coming together as I type, so I might as well let it fly, right?
Anyway, I have been mapping out a little bit of my future. I'm no longer able to work reliably, so my husband and I decided I should focus on taking care of myself and our kids. However. It would be ideal to make a lil money and put my music teacher brain to work when I can. (I do miss it.) All that said, I'm trying to envision myself as a content creator for music education. I don't know exactly where it's going, but as a creator I can potentially work when it's convenient for me (aka when I'm physically capable). That said, I'm thinking I can squeeze in 30 minutes of work/brainstorming when the kids go back to school, which still allows time for a solid nap and some PT.
With my in-the-moment attitude, though, I think it's fair to allow myself that 30 minutes to do whatever "work" I want. If it's researching music curricula, great. If it's editing chapter 21 of timefic, also great. Who knows where the wind will take me, but I see great things, my friends.
Maybe a certified mid-life crisis. I am thirty-seven, after all.
I want to do SO MANY THINGS.
I want to write. Not just my magnum opus fanfic but I want to write everything: poetry, essays, novels, screenplays.
I want to be with my friends. Take trips every weekend to visit them all, spread across the country and the globe, and talk to each and every one of them on the phone every day.
I want to honor my kids' childhood. Revel in the magic of the early years. Birthday parties, arts and crafts, dolls, sandcastles, decorating cookies.
I want to make art, connect with nature, record an album, reno my bathroom, grow my business, learn how to rock climb, go on backpacking treks again, ride roller skates to school with my kids, run for school board, get really good at make up, go on dates with my husband, play board games, play video games, plant a vegetable garden, change the fucking world and leave a legacy that will honor the truths that I've learned for years to come.
I don't think any one person can do all these things, forget a person who is learning what it means to be disabled. With a dynamic, not-well-understood disability that most doctors just throw their hands up and send me to the next specialist.
This is an important moment in my journey of self-discovery. After uncovering all the bullshit for years and years I have finally found myself. I finally know what I want. And yet, AND YET, I am ultimately in a place where I am so physically limited in what I can and can't do, and straddling this paradox is DIFFICULT.
I AM NOT A PATIENT PERSON WHEN IT COMES TO MYSELF.
But. I can honor what I've learned. I can honor the fact that I have come so fucking far to understand that nothing is permanent, nothing in this journey is linear, and being able to come and go with the tides is mandatory for thriving.
January is coming, and with that the natural ushering in of a fresh start. I don't normally subscribe to the new years resolution mindset, but I can acknowledge it falls at a perfect time for me this year.
I can also acknowledge that if I ever want to do any of the things on my long, long list, my body must be stronger than it is now. Maybe I won't be able to ride roller skates and reno the bathroom when I'm thirty-seven, or thirty-eight, or even forty; but maybe, with incremental work, I can when I'm forty-five or fifty.
I AM NOT VERY DISCIPLINED WHEN IT COMES TO MY PHYSICAL WELL-BEING.
But I've done this once before. I started the physical therapy process for POTS last July, and by September I was in the full swing of it and felt better than I'd felt in years. As I am wont to do, though, I flew too close to the sun. I took on too much. Physical therapy got pushed to the back burner while I lived my life again.
And now the consequences, or by-products, have made themselves known. Never-ending fatigue. A brain that doesn't function. Pain, everywhere. Grief for the life that could have been. Boredom.
Like I said, though: the new year feels like the right time for a reset. I will turn off and back on again, this time with a keen awareness upon the reboot. January can be a month of taking each day as it comes. Honoring the rest that I need as I need it, not delaying what my body so urgently demands. If the day calls for it, I will do my PT. If the day calls for it, I will sleep. If the day calls for it, I will pursue my creative needs.
Six months straight of physical therapy is not reasonable for me. I must come and go with the tides. I have the wisdom within me to do so.
September event: Ultimecia's Week - September 24th - September 30th
September is for our elusive main villain: Ultimecia!
The prompt list
Last year, there was no Ultimecia's week, but I added a "2025" prompt anyway: Time won't wait!
ORIGINAL PROMPT LIST
Time Kompression
Junction Machine Ellone
Possessing Edea
Griever
Rinoa’s Mind
Castle
Art Gallery
Kurse All SeeD!
Remember your Childhood
Free Choice!
NEW PROMPT LIST
2025: Time Won't Wait
The creative marathon
To celebrate Ultimecia, we'll have a creative marathon running on September 21st on our discord server!
In the special channel #creative-marathon we will cheer on each other with writing and drawing sprints to celebrate the character and give the final push for all your creative efforts!
Submissions
Prompts can be claimed and fullfilled through the AO3 prompt meme challenge that you can find here. You can start posting on September 24th. Please tag @ffviiicharacterweek and/or use the hashtag #ffviiicharacterweek on Tumblr so I can reblog you! ONLY if you're not on AO3, please fill in this form too, so I am sure I won't lose your submission. If you need an AO3 invite to join the challenge, please let me know, I still have a couple of those.
Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
✓ Live Streaming✓ Interactive Chat✓ Private Shows✓ HD Quality✓ Free Actions
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
August event: Squall Leonhart's Week - August 25th - August 31st
In August, we celebrate our moody broody Commander: Squall Leonhart!
The prompt list
All prompts from last year can be used, and there's also a new prompt for 2025: Silence!
ORIGINAL PROMPT LIST
Lone Wolf
Whatever
Commander
Griever
The Sorceress Knight
Promise
Scar
Sis
Triple Triad
Free Choice!
NEW PROMPT LIST
2025: Silence
The creative marathon
To celebrate Squall, we'll have a creative marathon running on August 23rd on our discord server!
In the special channel #creative-marathon we will cheer on each other with writing and drawing sprints to celebrate the character and give the final push for all your creative efforts!
Submissions
Prompts can be claimed and fullfilled through the AO3 prompt meme challenge that you can find here. You can start posting on August 25th. Please tag @ffviiicharacterweek and/or use the hashtag #ffviiicharacterweek on Tumblr so I can reblog you! ONLY if you're not on AO3, please fill in this form too, so I am sure I won't lose your submission. If you need an AO3 invite to join the challenge, please let me know, I still have a couple of those.
