#ahhhhhhhhhh

i just want to assure everyone that any money i have received has gone to my moving shit and it is STILL going there. if i do have to stay here a bit longer, whether its a day or a fucking fortnight, its going to getting out of here. but if i can stretch what ive gotten, from people who have been so fucking generous and kind to me, and make it last longer, i want to do that. i dont want any of this to have been for nothing or to go to waste and i have been fucking clawing at the walls and working with my caseworker to figure this shit out but i think legitimately my best option financially is to do a brief stint again, and then Get Gone. bc if i can do it right this time then im not drowning again. i dont want to end up in a position i cant maintain when its on other peoples fucking dime. its been doing my head in watching check out dates approaching knowing people have put themselves out to help me and im not actually any more stable. if i just. put up with two weeks. the donations and my super can get me somewhere for way fucking longer. two weeks here to secure potentially two months there or two weeks there and not know if i can even stay. my head is fucking killing me but i just want to be very fucking transparent about my decisions and why they're being made, and what the plans are. i will update more as i go bc i have a fucking hostage situation to negotiate. and im the hostage.