Maybe I give it too much mind. But it really is increadibly degrading. I lived in a motel for the first couple years of my life, then in my grandparents' garage, then in a house with 10 other family members in a house frankly too small for that many people. I remember the day my grandma got legal citizenship, when the 2016 election was happening, I remember some kids in elementary school would mock my brother and I for being Latino.
I remember my father telling me that statistically, people like us get killed or locked in jail. I remember attending several quinceañeras. At 6 years old I loved wearing a Pachuca themed poncho that was far bigger than me. I remember my grandpa teaching me some numbers in spanish. I remember playing with a miniature Atlantean Figure statue as a toy. (Do you even know what that is?)
To be honest, I feel weird typing this out. To me these things aren't really special, they are a given, just the way my life is and how I grew up. I don't need to prove anything, my entire life i was surrounded by other latinos, many of them immigrants, most of them mexican, and at least 50% of people around me speak spanish in any given area I am in. When people approach me they will often start in spanish assuming I am fluent. (not yet but working on it.)
Which is why I was so surprised when I started being active on tumblr.com and I noticed how common it was to be called a "racefaker." I had never experienced such a thing. And it felt strange, because it's such a core part of my identity that I didn't even think about. To me it's like saying I don't actually breathe air, or that I have three arms. But as this is the internet, I have heard all sorts of dumb things so it doesn't matter.
But then it happened again, and again, and again. With such confidence people will say this. Implying they have proof even, though this proof is conveniently never shown. This is a repeated tactic used by several individuals, used at not just me, but just about anyone they have a vendetta against. And truly... it is degrading. My ethnicity has impacted every good and bad memory I have ever had. The majority of my life fundamentally could not have happened if I was not this way. I wouldn't have been mocked in school, my uncle may not have died, my dad would've been a completely different person.
And maybe my mother would not be fighting a deportation case.
It doesn't matter though. The people who sling this accusation probably don't actually believe it anyway. I mean, it is inherently made up so they kinda can't. It's a tactic made to degrade you, and hurt you. An insult designed to make a brown girl feel like garbage. Racism. That's why there is no way to really fight it. I have already posted my brown skin on main, multiple times ! No way to refute that, but they don't care. It just makes me sad, it's obvious racial social violence. But no one seems to really mind.
I guess I was surprised by the way tumblr users behave, I've never been in a place where the majority of people were white. So when I go outside everyone knows im latino by looking at me, on here it's like.... well fuck. Thats the worst part actually, white people are not the only ones who do this. You know how many pick-me poc will do it too? Though, in that regard all of them are yanks. I don't think I've ever been called racefaker by a non-yank. I guess it's because yanks love race science and phrenology and genetic purity the most. Even when you call yourselves leftists or genuinely belive you don't agree with such things. Fuck. Have you considered mass suicide?
