Imagine Being Loved By Me

growing up in a small town

Pippin: *pitches an idea* The rest of the Fellowship, impressed: Huh, there might be something here! Gandalf, under his breath: Yes, a lawsuit.

its so freeing when you realize you can literally write whatever you want 

it doesnt have to be good or anything you can just write things and post them and it doesnt matter at all

“your story sucks” what are you going to do? refund the money u didn’t pay? you are a bozo

*calls you captain in a gay way*

(i pull my pair of tiny binoculars away from my eyes and lean over to my partner as we watch the opera from the upper left balcony) i say darling this singer is slaying absolute penis

“gays can’t drive” speak for yourselves bc brother i am in the thick of it every single day. every day i am driving. and every day i feel rage

I admire English speakers’ resolute commitment to coining specific vocabulary for every aspect of a cat’s being. Toe beans. Cat loaf. Primordial pouch. Mlem, not to be confused with blep. I remember that list of French words that English “lacks” like retrouvailles or apprivoiser or esprit de l’escalier but do we have blep? We’re centuries behind. We don’t even have the word fluffy.

no cops at pride just elvira and her butch wife

portrait of a lady on pfizer

Someone at my work keeps joking that they just need to clone me so we’ll have full coverage and I’m honestly offended on behalf of my clone at the idea she’s be brought into this world just so she could work. If I get cloned, first off we are unionizing