Verily, You Were Not That Great of a Door Either

I found an amazing thing on the internet??? Yes, it is based off the book (like the thumbnail says), only updated to be more modern, no it’s not the one shown in classes with Martin Sheen and Kristin Bell, and it’s… fucking hilarious.

Written for Sudrien in two sittings. Approximately 1750 words for 35 dollars at a rate of two dolalrs per one hundred words.  Involves the Condesce having to deal with a difficult traveling situation after her big performance from the last one.  Can also be found here.

If you’d like to commission me, contact me through messanger, or email me at [email protected]

A story written for sudrien in bits and pieces from August 2016 to June 2017.  Involves the Condesce being transported to Earth in a more humanoid body, and forced into a late 1800s freak show act as a contortionist.  Inspired by these pics here.  Commissioned at a rate of 3 dollars per every 100 words for a total of approximately 345 dollars over 11,505 words.  Can also be downloaded with the original formatting intact from here.  May wind up being the first of a series.

If you’d like to commission me, contact me through messenger.

Heraclos is a very funny little platforming adventure in which an unwilling hero embarks on a quest from god (whether he likes it or not)

this is what i downloaded audacity for

EVERYBODY STOP WHAT YOU’RE DOING AND WATCH THIS.

This is one of the short films made as part of the Legendy Polskie cycle (”Polish Legends”). Directed and designed by a CGI artist acclaimed worldwide, Tomasz Bagiński, the cycle aims to present Polish folklore in a new manner, and to prove that fantasy films can be done well (or better!) outside of Hollywood.

The goal is to combine modern, world-class filmmaking with… some of the more typical aspects of Polish-ness, not only where legends are concerned.

This installment in the series does not require knowing any particular legend, the English subs are passable (though it’s less funny, some of this stuff is not very translate-able), so it’s pretty accessible to general public.

Also, really cool.

For explanations of some things that may perplex foreigners, see below.

so anyway

So a while ago I made my first Twitter/Mastodon bot, a very simple little bot called TheSingalongBot. It came out of a chance conversation at the XOXO conference with Kate Compton and Gretchen McCullough, and all it does is toot/tweet/twoot the first line of a song. Humans can sing along if they want. (To date, SingalongBot followers have finished the ABC song, A British Tar is a Soaring Soul, When Will My Life Begin, and, heroically, The Saga Begins. They are also about 80% through 99 Bottles of Beer on the Wall).

To build up a suitable list of first lines for the bot, I started with a list of billboard top hits from the last 50 years. And then, because I was worried that the top hits might exclude some of the best songs, I asked people to submit the catchiest songs they knew. I got over 1,500 suggestions. Once I removed duplicates (”I threw a wish in the well” was submitted 14 times, followed closely by “Is this the real life?”) and combined with the billboard hits, I had 3,847 songs. The bot is going strong, and meanwhile I have this dataset.

Yes, of course I trained a neural net on it.

[Image from somewhere in BigGAN latent space, using ganbreeder.app]

Here’s how well it did at imitating the song lines after it had seen all 3,847 lines just once in training (that is, at the end of Epoch 1).

All I was a light the goont dood and och go dread I want the stars a gind was the stord I can’t a live the sake you hee I want you ging you sand the rook on the shook The sharly goold the bodey

By the end of Epoch 2 it could at least spell a bit better, though it made no actual sense.

I can a got a baby I can day more to make you make you a pan I was a little time it make a love a friend When I don’t got a love I see up a bearsting Well I was a pan and I ever mise You can a baby, down Here you one and you are now

By Epoch 3 it has settled on the strategy of using “baby” in pretty much every song.

I don’t know the baby We’re the baby baby I’m gonna get up and love is to the sea The baby all the trains You see you wanna take the something We’re not on your road I don’t know when I’m gone and thing My baby but this baby love your eyes Looking down the baby for you

Epoch 4: experimenting a bit more with new words, including some that don’t actually exist. Grammar: questionable.

You can see your face I don’t want to be a room You think a beautiful saids There all the true of the horse You don’t never think the street You can dang the be sunshine You love me funny things I don’t never love you You never good the darn tonight You know you want you I was air, the end is the light The time, I was a train There’s a tring at the boom I’m not my bright on the brains the feeling on my heart

Fast-forwarding a bit to Epoch 7, the neural net’s progress is a bit less obvious. At least we can mostly figure out what it is trying to say. Mostly.

I was a little beautiful star I was a funny life with a little sing Hearing about a brain I was so long to be a little baby I got my love, I got a put you in my heart I want you to the thing I got a single and the world so lonely You took my heart and shipportow I can’t get up in love When I was a strangle, day Spinnarduachy nobody man whiskey, die where it come Staps the phone Yo babe, very where you are frow You shazry waiting and I’m girlin’

We arrive now at the end of the training, in Epoch 15 (so chosen because progress had pretty much stopped). The neural net has learned quite a bit, really.

It has learned to do love songs.

I see you standing in the hair I can dance if you want my life Oh no, my name is in the sky Oh, I’m in love with your head in my eyes You look at me like there’s a strungle I see you and I’m home, and I see your face for me I’m so tired of being so hearts Yeah I’m always love you

And dance tunes.

Love, love my eyes rollin’ Ive got to Seem sexy Hello when I came home from ass Oh, baby, do you make her bass? Welp, a-sunshane’ said, doot doot doot dam i gim

And folk songs.

When i get up in the mirror This is the world that you’re a burning here I can’t explain my window Welp, the lack of the sunshine You are my eyes are the boot I see you standin’ on the mind I said it up, the year was 1778

And whatever the heck these are.

The lights in the eventoot, heaven me I had a peanut, ooooonce colod me back at the sing Look down! Couse Rider schoode After all waits that you’re feelinged Fingertippolming Muskrat, pen up forever for me Hush, you’re funny time I was childrentin' 

Look out, songwriters! AI is coming for your jobs!

Super Smash Bros. Ultimate - Snake Codecs: Inkling

psyche! ok now I’m done