“I Was Going to Shower and Put on Real Clothes Today, but Then I Started Reading: An Autobiography” written by me
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@suckitkindle
“I Was Going to Shower and Put on Real Clothes Today, but Then I Started Reading: An Autobiography” written by me

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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Some of the best memes out there are the ones that make absolutely no sense. Take, for instance, “Pride And Prejudice 2005 + Onion Headlines.” Created by author and blogger KC Kahler, the three-part meme popped up on Tumblr recently and basically just consists of cropped Onion headlines strategicall
So yeah, my book MODERN ROMANCE drops June 16th. But if you preorder if NOW at book.azizansari.com, you get a bunch of goodies:
- You get to download and read the first introduction chapter NOW.
- An MP3 of from the audiobook featuring me reading a chapter – perfect for curling up by a fire and having me read to you.
- A few Drake dubsmash videos that I shot myself just for people who pre-order.
- In NYC? – We’re doing a small book event the first week of June. You’ll be entered into the lottery to get 2 tickets if you fill out your info in the form. This event is really small, and we had to do a lottery to avoid issues with scalpers, huge lines, etc.
- Not in NYC? – If you preorder the book and fill out the form, we’ll send you the details for a Livestream of one of the book tour events we’re doing in June and July.
Ok is that enough “bonus shit” to get you to buy the book? Alright, go grab it at any bookseller, a list of which can be found at: book.azizansari.com.
No? Ok ding dong - here’s some advance praise to convince you the book is great:
“Always-hilarious Aziz Ansari proves you can be smart and funny at the same time. Not only did I laugh my ass off, I really learned stuff. Where was this book when I was 22 years old? ” - Steven Levitt, coauthor of the #1 New York Times bestselling Freakonomics
“Laughing is my second least-favorite thing in the world after thinking. This book was torture.” - Jonathan Safran Foer, author of Eating Animals
“ Modern Romance is just like Aziz Ansari himself—charming, thoughtful, reasonable, and able to distill the madness of the world into something both sane and wildly funny.” - Dave Eggers,
Alright I’m out!
Vive le book!
How to get an A on everything
1. Commit adultery in a 17th century Puritan town

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Somehow, I’m all of them
Reading is primarily a symptom. Of a healthy imagination, of our interest in this and other worlds, of our ability to be still and quiet, of our ability to dream during daylight.
Carmen Callil (among MANY others), Stop What You’re Doing and Read This (via quoted-books)
1970s Vintage Lord of the Rings and The Hobbit Set
Reading "Corduroy" to a four-year-old today
Me (reading): "This must be a palace! I guess I've always wanted to live in a palace."
Me: Do you think it's REALLY a palace?
Four-year-old (excitedly): No, it's Ikea!
She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.
Eleanor & Park, Rainbow Rowell (via saltwatercures)

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Do you ever just sit in front of your books and just
This predecessor of the #Kindle, Ramelli’s Book Wheel from 1588, stored 12 books http://ebks.to/17ivQyE

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Alice in Wonderland by Júlia Sardà
— Albert Camus