they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

All you’ve ever wanted was to be feared and rule the world but every villainous act you commit backfires. Steal candy from a baby? Poisoned candy, baby saved. Steal the baby? Abusive parents. Threw a woman off a building? Push she needed to unlock her powers of flight, she’s now your sidekick.

Newly acquired toddler: Mr. Evil man you sure are helping a lot of people. Villain: Finish eating your lunch, Timmy. Daddy’s plotting to overthrow the Big Bank. Sidekick: Oh that’s great, John! They’re so corrupt. I’ll cancel my plans with Linda tonight. She’s gonna love this. Villain: *crumples up evil plans and throws them across the room* DAMMIT!

*the plans land in the recycling bin*

#i literally crack up everytime #at least ten of the notes are from me

if I ever don’t reblog Obi-Wan’s complete lack of fucks, assume I have perished and have been et by my cat.

Bugs Bunny could singlehandedly defeat Thanos by dressing up as a TSA agent and setting up a metal detector in the middle of the battlefield saying that all metal objects must be removed if you want to pass on through now stick around for my 2,000 word essay on just how effectively he would convince The Mad Titan to comply

I don’t think I’ve seen such a finely crafted Looney Toons joke in over two decades. Bravo.