I dont want my fangs too long

i know the way people talk about their pets now is probably how we’ve been doing it for all of history. a cat owner in ancient rome saw their cat lounging on the dining pillows and commented “he thinks himself to be the senator claudius 🤣”

Someone who says they don't care if dudes wear dresses and makeup is a better ally than someone who says they're a safe space for women and non-binary people. I am not joking.

my camel straight up told me "man i am not carrying another fucking straw" like wtf asshole its just one straw whats your fucking issue

sorry man im new to fleeting moments of clarity

often i am scared for no reason or several reasons

humans produce FAR to much mucus, to remedy this we’ve made a potion that replaces all your mucus with a pure element from the periodic table. Roll a d118, or roll a dexterity saving throw with disadvantage (your gross mucus gets in the way)