"Insanity."

You convinced yourself that your worth lies in those qualities that drove your life against the wall, shattering all you ever thought you stood for. Taking away those who were willing to choose you.

No one ever will hurt you like this, betray you like this. You swore it to yourself, no one will ever be allowed in your broken and shattered heart again. No one should see the endless voids Felicia and Vander had lef behind.

How did that turn out for you?

It's like your restless heart leapt onto that girl in the rain. Powder. So quickly, you wrapped your arms around her, took her in, letting that abandoned child take a seat at the empty dinner table.

You saw yourself in her, didn't you?

Alone, betrayed. Crying and losing her sanity. How did it feel when she jumped at you, seeking the comfort you yourself needed oh so desperately?

When you saw Vander's dead body, what did you feel? When you talked to him, saw the strong man became a lap dog to those who opressed you all your life, was it worse than the river?

If things had played out in a different way, would Vander stand beside you and not lie bleeding and dead on the concrete? Would his blood be bandaged and not washed away by rain?

You found a daughter that day. No, don't deny it. I see it in your abandoned little heart. I see the streaks of blue.

She reminds you a lot of your old self. The weak man. But was he truely ever weak?

The mines alone shoul've been proof that no, no you were never weak to begin with. You survived those conditions, found a family, friends. Vander. Oh Vander. How you held onto him. How you knew he'd be there for you. What a fatal belief.

Planning a revolution wasn't meant to be done by the likes of you. What is one person with a dream gonna do? You're a dirty little thing, a no-good rat like everyone called you.

Everyone but Felicia and Vander.

You thought Vander would stand with you. You were wrong.

You created the Lanes. You created Shimmer. You were so close to achiev what you worked for all your god damn life. And yes, it was a hard life.

Can you even call it life? All you ever did was plan a future for those who redeemed you of nothing. You fought for people who would toss you aside at any given chance.

You thought Felicia would stand with you. You killed her.

You thought Jinx would stand with you. She killed you.

You gave up your dream for her. Your daughter. The crying girl who you hummed to sleep, the one who made you countless drawings and gifts like you deserved them. A daughter's love was enough to make you feel again.

Was it painful when you died? Shot so quickly you must've fallen back into the pattern of betrayal, of heartbreak. A loved one hurting you was nothing new. But this time, you knew she didn't mean it.

How she ran over, cradled your head. You called her perfect, like you did every day. It's not Zaun you're leaving behind today, it's your daughter. And while you hope you won't become one of those demons in her mind, torturing her and giving her the burden of guilt, you, once again, did everything in your power to let her know how much you loved and adored her.

You're perfect. Just like your daughter.

Oh Silco. I hope the river cradels you well.

🫂❤️🧪