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@stupidnames
booty shorts that say “speak friend and enter”

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Doc, what are the top five items food banks LOVE to receive? I'm doing a collection soon and want to ask for specifics.
MONEY. WE WANT MONEY. MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY MONEY. WE CAN DO SO MUCH WITH IT. WE HAVE ACCESS TO DEALS YOU COULD NEVER. MONEY
That aside.
I’m only going to talk about food items but if your food bank takes personal items, a lot of times diapers, feminine hygiene products, etc, are very very welcome.
1) Canned chicken and beef
looooooove this stuff. It’s expensive, it lasts forever, it tastes good and it can be used a variety of ways. This stuff is fucking catnip to food banks, it’s so hard for us to provide proteins.
2) Fancy nut butters
Peanut butter is a standby for food banks as a shelf-stable inexpensive protein, but if we have a family with a kid with a peanut allergy that’s not going to work. Non-peanut butters are expensive and it’s something we hardly ever see donated. (we also like peanut butter, but that’s easier for us to buy ourselves than non-peanut butters)
3) Canned or packaged tuna
You may notice a trend here in shelf-stable proteins. And yeah. That’s basically it, so I’m not going to keep harping on it. But this stuff is a godsend.
4) Easy breakfast things for kids (Granola bars, instant oatmeal, and the like)
Whatever Donald Trump tells you, most people who get food from food banks are actually working their asses off and so they have to leave Obama to raise their baby or whatever, and they don’t have a lot of time in the morning. Things like this that kids can make for themselves are expensive. (Another trend you may be noticing–donate shit that costs a lot of money. That helps us more than all the shitty green bean cans in the world) But they are so helpful for busy working families where the parents may not have a set schedule and sometimes little Amanda is making her own breakfast before she runs off to school. Don’t let kids go to school hungry.
5) Shelf-stable juice
This is one people never think of! But if you show up with a bunch of (preferably reduced sugar stuff) bottles of juice at my door, oh man, you are gonna get so many check mark and okay hand emoticons. This stuff is great for kids, and it doesn’t require refrigeration until it’s opened, so it works great for food drives.
But seriously, give money
And it’s way better food, too, anything you get prepackaged has A TON of sugar and/or salt in it…collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done
Yoooooo heads up for those of you with kids, I know this time of year schools start holding canned food drives so keep this in mind if you’re able to give.
collecting cans may be more exciting than writing a check, but if the point is to help people, the check is going to get a lot more done .
hint: the point should be to help people.
Comrades, Henry Scott Tuke 1924.
Two bros chilling at the beach 5 feet apart cuz they’re not gay
…and they were comrades
oh my god, they were comrades
Just saw an ad for a portable blender that you charge like a phone and it was like “take it anywhere!” and showed someone using it on a dark plane and let me tell you if I were on an overnight flight and the lady two rows up just got her baby to sleep and the flight attendants are all whispering and the person next to me pulled out a fucking BLENDER Id go absolutely fucking apeshit

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You guys probably already know this, but in case you forgot, it’s fine to just, like, put cool stuff in your novel. Names don’t always have to have special meanings, the way the sword swishes doesn’t have to be of extreme plot significance, there doesn’t need to be “another angle” to a particular character…It’s certainly good to use metaphors, items, themes, motifs, and suggestions to loftier ends, but you liking something can be enough.
hollywood: it’s time to make another lesbian movie can someone please bring out the wheel of white women….. we’re gonna have *spins* saoirse ronan and *spins* kate winslet in a period piece film! this is perfect because there’s a huge age gap too
y’all:
Militant vegans shut the fuck up challenge
You’re racist and you hate poor people, we get it dude
Does this dude really think Alaska natives choose to live the way they do, that they can just go on a plane and move to a nice suburb in the southern US where they can buy vegan meals from Whole Foods every day?
These people legit make me want to be dead
i am SO SICK of unhappy endings. idk about anyone else but the #1 reason i like fiction is because everything can always work out no matter how bad it is. “what if the good guys lost” shut up. you are so fucking boring. give me happy endings or give me nothing
“The trouble is that we have a bad habit, encouraged by pedants and sophisticates, of considering happiness as something rather stupid. Only pain is intellectual, only evil interesting. This is the treason of the artist: a refusal to admit the banality of evil and the terrible boredom of pain.”
“But to praise despair is to condemn delight, to embrace violence is to lose hold of everything else. We have almost lost hold; we can no longer describe a happy man, nor make any celebration of joy.”
— Ursula K. Le Guin, “The Ones Who Walk Away From Omelas”
Brazilian states || Estados brasileiros

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Bottom left stovetop burner stans make some noise
Me, in tears, halfway through writing a 300 word essay: I can’t do this anymore
Person on A03 who’s writing for fun:
Inconvenient Truth: these are the same person
Yeah, well, I can’t stretch out that review of 16th century economics by adding a gratuitous hand job.
#not with that attitude you can’t
Research has shown that pleasure affects nutrient absorption. In a 1970s study of Swedish and Thai women, it was found that when the Thai women were eating their own (preferred) cuisine, they absorbed about 50% more iron from the meal than they did from eating the unfamiliar Swedish food. And the same was true in the reverse for the Swedish women. When both groups were split internally and one group given a paste made from the exact same meal and the other was given the meal itself, those eating the paste absorbed 70% less iron than those eating the food in its normal state.
Pleasure affects our metabolic pathways; it’s a facet of the complex gut-brain connection. If you’re eating foods you don’t like because you think it’s healthy, it’s not actually doing your body much good (it’s also unsustainable, we’re pleasure-seeking creatures). Eat food you enjoy, it’s a win-win.
what
no seriously
what?
no other song is “this generation’s bohemian rhapsody”
bohemian rhapsody is every generation’s bohemian rhapsody
Okay in my house we have a strange tradition. My mother builds this beautiful Christmas village.
It wraps all around our house through the rooms and under the trees and it’s wonderful.
Every year she hides the Christmas Vampire
This started when I was a very small got child and spread to all of my friends, including my best friend from elementary school who I just so happened to grow up and marry. Now that we have grown up and moved nearly 600 miles away we still always go home for a week at Christmas for multiple reasons, including the Christmas Vampire.
Needless to say we still partake and things have gotten heated.
Stay tuned for the epic conclusion and to see my husband and father in Lin-Manuel Miranda’s sooty costume when I find the Christmas Vampire First!
Happy Haunting!
Dad has no fricken clue how to trash talk and I don’t trust him in the slightest.
The saga continues. Mom hasnt finished the village yet and it’s starting to get to her….
Hahahaha, I mean I love this on multiple levels. But what really threw it over the top was the mom’s anxiety over the world-building and city design being right. I feel you vampire-hiding mom, I feel you.

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Literally watching capitalism destroy the new productive forces (social networks, free access to software and media, etc) created by the internet because it’s near impossible to extract surplus value out of them is quite a trip really. And by a trip I mean heartbreaking
Some facts:
1) Black Americans created jazz. 2) Jewish Americans created comic books. 3) These things are said to be the only original American art forms.
4) black Americans invented rock and roll.
5) Black AND Jewish Americans created musical theatre.