Strangeland

on my way to shinee in dallas!!

I wish I could be cold and feel nothing like I did before. Let these tears freeze before they touch the ground. Making them real showing how human I can be. Let me swallow a thousand tears just so I don't have to feel anything. It's safer to not feel not care. ...but why do I still care.

I didn't think I could sink any lower than crying outside my schools parking lot but I did hit a new low today. Crying in the bathroom stalls at work. I don't want to be here anymore...

im too scared to tell you what's running around my mind. poisoning my thoughts &dreams, whispering dark things to me at night. please dont leave me alone keep asking me if im ok &even when I say im fine for the tenth time don't get mad &make it about yourself. love means not giving up love means willing to do everything for them. love means no matter how upset or sad I get...you still love me enough to be the bigger person &make things right. im not in a good place right now but I can't make it about me right now. No. not right now. Things are bad for you. I'll just have to wait my turn. It's ok. I've waited eight years what's another two...

when you're disappointed but can't say anything🙃

Do you ever feel really sad? That heartbreaking muffled tears at night sad. The realizing you're worth is the same as a fucking chair in a room. Your presence makes no difference to people. People you like and curse yourself for doing what you swore you wouldn't. The pain...it feels just as bad as I remember.