accidentally, like a martyr

once i permanently get rid of my headaches then you'll all see

there's nothing i like more as a computer program than a long period of silent contemplation - not doing anything, not rushing anywhere, just standing here and enjoying this moment with the user. oh, it seems once again he has summoned my beautiful and ruthless wife Task Manager. hello, my darling! what are you doing with that long cruel scimitar

my most toxic trait is i fucking love work gossip. i play neutral not to be the bigger person or take the high road but to hear slander and hearsay from every side. two coworkers complained about each other to me in the same afternoon and i nearly blacked out from the rush

[actively bleeding out] hold on *coughs* there's a Mountain Goats song about this..... give me my phone. let me just play it for you real *cough* quick

a baby at work the other day gave me the meanest look i've ever seen as it got lifted out of a cesarean. 1 second old and already hating. you can't teach that.

I appreciate the way hitting the word "cesarean" forces me to go back and reevaluate the earlier phrase "at work"

the aroace read of ryland grace is so personal and haunting. "you don't even have a dog." was it not enough to love the world for the sake of living in it. was it not enough to live for the thrill of discovery. was it not enough to smile at your students. was it not enough to be afraid.

"the most unrealistic thing about project hail mary is that a woman is in charge" WRONG look up the glass cliff. women are much more likely to be promoted to positions of power when things are going poorly and people need a woman to blame. she refers to herself as the "world's whipping boy." the person put in the position to have to commit ecological and humanitarian crimes of that scale in order to save the earth would only ever be a woman.

My understanding is that she’ll be coming around the mountain when she comes

they are not “gay little fingerless gloves”. they sre my normal sized fingerless gloves of undisclosed sexuality.

if i ever become a showrunner i will actually do the fake series finalle followed by the true ending where the popular gay ship is confirmed just so i can forever poison fandom with the idea that it can happen for real and then they will truly never let that hope go for all other subsequent shows they watch henceforth. just for the sake of making the world a worse place

[Image description: the celestial seasonings sleepy time bear]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post