klance is (still) canon king

Lance isn’t quite sure how long he’s been staring out the observation deck windows when Keith comes in, but he knows it’s long enough that his teammates might ask questions if they knew.

Keith stops in the doorway like he wasn’t expecting to see anyone there.

“oh hey samurai, can’t sleep either?”

Keith sighs “yeah i guess so.” he pauses, looking Lance over. Lance refuses to acknowledge how anxious that makes him. “i can uh go if you- i mean you were here first”

Before Lance can process what he’s doing, he’s invited Keith over to the window with him. He shivers a little and hopes Keith can’t sense the lingering existential crisis.

“You come here often?” Lance feels like he’s been kicked in the chest both from surprise, and from the pang of want squeezing his heart, wishing it was real flirting. “No wait I- I meant like do you like- you know what i mean!”

Lance laughs, like really laughs for the first time in a while. Keith’s frustration and embarrassment are both hilarious and adorable. “yeah i guess so” he smiles. Then it falls a bit as Keith gives him a curious look. “i um, well i don’t know i think a lot i guess?” He stops to scope out his friend's reaction, which is to his dismay completely undetectable, then continues carefully. “I come here when I can't sleep to look at the stars and process stuff or whatever.” he reminds himself to breathe and quietly adds “i journal sometimes”

Keith looks fondly at Lance, though he won’t look back.

“I pick different spots every now and then, the library is one of my favorites.”

While Lance finds this to be incredibly endearing, he’s kind of starting to feel like he can’t breathe. Maybe inviting the kind of super attractive, sexy, brooding guy he’s maybe sort of super crushing on to sit with him while he’s already freaking out a little thinking about all of existence wasn’t his greatest idea. But was it really an idea if he did it without thinking? Lance tries to do the breathing exercises his sister taught him without making it super obvious and he thinks he’s got it down.

He’s totally got it down. There's no way Keith will notice he’s breathing abnormally. He’s totally content. He should be. He should be happy that Keith is right next to him, actually trying to talk to him even, but he’s thinking so fast he can’t think anything at all. But it’s cool, it's fine.

Out that window there is an infinite expanse that he will never begin to know even a fraction of. Infinite. forever. It doesn’t stop. While that was almost a comforting thought back on earth, it’s completely and utterly terrifying now. Not just as “protector of the universe” which is a huge weight already, disregarding the immeasurable vastness of that universe. That weight obviously feels elevated thinking about that. Even with the power of voltron they’re so small in the grand image.

Outside of the voltron of it all, the thought scares lance so much. He is so tiny when you put it into perspective. His life would make no difference measured up to everything that exists. Not to mention the likelihood of him ever seeing his family again. He could die out here in an infinite expanse of burning stars. He’s just space dust really. And space dust has little hope of returning home.

Now that he’s been out here and seen so much he struggles to fathom just how much is out there, how things could differ so much if they ventured further. Even connected planets can never know all that is out there. Man, half of the aliens they meet don’t know about earth.

“Lance? Lance hello?” Lance snaps out of his spiral suddenly at Keith’s hand on his shoulder. “huh” he sounds so quiet and small Keith almost feels like crying. “Jesus Lance are you okay” Keith feels the biggest weight off his chest now that Lance is responding. He was starting to really worry when he said lance the fourth time, and was seriously considering waking everyone up.

Lance is still breathing heavily but he seems to be somewhat more present. Squeezing his eyes shut and dropping his head into his hands he finally attempts to answer but he’s shaking, his eyes sting, and his heart is racing. He tries, but all that comes out is a quick and quiet apology followed by a quiet sob. Then several more.

Keith freezes. Fuck. He’s not used to caring for people while they cry, and he’s certainly not used to an openly emotional lance, let alone a crying one.

He looks around as if there’s anything to help. He looks back to lance curled in on himself, forehead against the glass of the window he thought they would finally bond next to, sobbing so hard keith didn’t think it was possible, and all he can think to do is reach out.

He carefully rests his hand on Lance's back and tries to run comforting circles. It feels like he’s doing it wrong but he thinks he feels Lance lean into it a tiny bit. He feels slightly more confident in trying to comfort Lance but he’s not sure what he needs.

“why are you sorry Lance?”

“all of this” he says between loud tearful breaths, gesturing vaguely around and towards himself, still refusing to look at keith.

“hey i don’t- i- Lance it’s okay. i’m just” he pauses trying to find the right words. “I'm not sure how to help, I'm not really all that experienced in comforting people” he says it softly, somewhere between embarrassment and concern.

Lance turns slowly, briefly looks at Keith, then dives forward into his arms. Keith tenses for a moment before carefully wrapping his arms around lance, who is still shaking and while not sobbing, still crying.

“Do you want to like… talk about it?”

“there’s just so much keith”

“so much of what?”

“everything”

“oh.” There's a long pause before Keith finally gives up on trying to find a good answer. “I don't think I can help with that.”

“yeah dunno” lance feels a little more grounded feeling keith’s embrace.

“maybe let’s not let you think about that anymore.”

lance hums in agreement, adjusting his position in Keith's arms and somehow cuddling closer. This is incredibly embarrassing but if it gets him in Keith's arms it’s a little more worth it. “Tell me a story?”

“about what, blue? I don't really have any interesting stories that you don’t already know.”

“make something up?”