sometimes it truly be like that

are you guys gonna wrap it up with the dog motif anytime soon

literally man's best friend but whatever. i guess you do sexual roleplay as some kind of tender-leaved houseplant?

you know full well that my sexual roleplays are geological in nature

Why do so many Japanese urban legends seem to involve a dialogue tree that you need to follow very carefully?

It's just the interactive element that seems characteristic. Like I hear a claim that, at some point, "everyone dreams of a village littered with blue corpses, and if they trip and fall then they will die in their sleep and become one of them" and ai just immediately know before I even check that, yes, this urban legend originated in Japan.

still thinking about that time i was at the airport and the spinny machine tagged my cock with a hitbox & i walked right up to the tsa guy with drunk conviction and before he could say anything i was like "ready to touch my penis boy?" and he got so defensive and scared but either way he still had to get down on his knees in front of me to— oh god and the nervous gulp he exhibited

he was HORNY

he was not, i was sexually harassing him bad

becca king who has an active sex life and a boyfriend and wants to be independent and not infantilized and known first and foremost as 'becca' and not 'mel's sister'...............mel king who has structured her entire life around becca's needs and care and being 'becca's sister', even moving to pittsburgh specifically because becca got into an independent living center there, now not knowing what to do or who she is if becca is keeping secrets from her and no longer needs her..............pitt writers you are cooking with gas

funniest thing about the thing (1982) is that the titular thing is both a master manipulator who can perfectly replicate anyone but also a big bundle of nerves who flips out and starts screaming and turning into 5000 meat parts at once the INSTANT it’s found out

like at one point the thing replicates a guy who has a heart condition, promptly has a heart attack, and then gets so freaked out by the defibrillator it starts biting people

the thing is a master actor who is absolutely awful at improv and the show keeps going wrong

and not to sound like a conspiracy theorist but another reason I hate the return of 2000’s th*nspo shit is bc starving does make women frail and has longer term consequences like early osteoporosis, brittle bones/teeth, insomnia, ect. Your muscles will start eating themselves. It also makes you extremely emotional and severely lowers your capacity for critical thinking not bc you’re a girl but because your brain isn’t getting any fucking nutrients so idk I just feel like its very convenient that every time there’s an uptick in fascist rhetoric and women’s rights are being stripped suddenly it’s peak fashion for women to be starving, weak, and exhausted

overheard a customer say "i'm ready for a divorce at this point" when I was bored at work and my eyes lit up like I won the lottery

I don't like some people's tone abt mel... she doesn't have a life bc she's a glass child and becca and her were orphans at 20 and she is becca's primary caregiver so much of her time and energy goes to becca because becca requires significant support not bc mel is too clingy or something. sure she needs to come to terms with some aspects of becca's adulthood/independence but let's not act like mel can just get up and decide to get a life unless someone takes something off her plate. mel's lived the life she has bc she has so many responsibilities not bc she has some self-pity complex

When Temu Langdon asked Mel what she liked to do her answer wasn’t she used to like soccer, art, ballet, whatever until her mom died and now she takes care of her sister. Mel struggled to think of her own pleasure at all! I’d guess Mel was PARENTIFIED her whole life w/her parents & other adults using Mel’s intelligence & kindness as excuses to ask her to suppress her desires/needs to help the adults meet Becca’s needs. There was no way w/how Mel acts there was ever fighting over toys, no demanding attn, no pouting she didn’t get to do what she wanted…most likely Mel as a CHILD herself cared for Becca. Mel likely listened to her parents talk about THEIR feelings & worries making sure Becca was well/safe/happy which made Mel internalize responsibility for this bc she loved her parents & sister & would want to help them. Do I think Mel’s parents gave Mel separate time so Mel knew her feelings & needs were equally important? Nope. I think being “helpful,” & “mature” got praised as “being good” which trained Mel to think caretaking her sister was HER job instead of just being a kid who should get to depend on her parents taking care of her. This lack of childhood is extremely traumatic & affects parentified kids thru adulthood. If Mel is parentified she is not going to be jealous her sister has a bf. Mel wouldn’t have that sibling rivalry like a normal kid. She’d more likely worry she hasn’t done a good job taking care of Becca bc parentified kids think that’s THEIR family duty.

@allthefoolmine

If I have to watch a bunch of liberals start writing hagiographies about how the fucking dick-grabbing wallet-stealing skycops at TSA are such brave heroes who deserve our love, I'm becoming the Riddler. Not even the Joker. Y'all wouldn't rate that.

If it were possible to isolate these events from their wider geopolitical context, I would say it's really, really, really funny that TSA agents aren't getting paid. I would say that I hope none of them ever get paid again, anywhere.

#if he got rid of some middle names i bet he would be more aerodynamic and better at racing via @/honeyseller

Correction: it's not the Medicis who run the Dublin fried chicken shops, but the direct decendants of the enemies of the Medici; the Borgias. The chain is called Borza and is better known for fish and chips. They moved to Ireland in the early 20th century. They are also said to have introduced the deep fried Mars bar from Scotland to Ireland.

The Borgias, among the most feared and reviled families in European history, running a fish 'n chips shop with deep fried Mars bars is one of the funniest things I've ever heard. It's like something from a D&D campaign where they decided to completely change genres.

"El Tango de Roxanne" from the movie Moulin Rouge! (2001) is exactly what it sounds like to be 14 and you find out your best friend has other friends

Whats up tunblr basically i just wrote this book with tons of dope fan fiction trope buzz woeds and gay characters fucking & sucking each other the entire book U will like it automaticaly i think since it has those blaze ths shit imediately🔥🔥🔥

pjack punched my dog in the head and it died