Steps on the Journey

Image: My colleague @imabima has posted a list of topics for Elul on her blog every year since 2012. The image above is this year’s list, days 1-29.

The lovely thing about @imabima’s list of topics is that for the whole month of Elul I don’t have to think of topics. They sit right there in front of me in a tidy list, already set. Today is Day 3 (yes, I missed 1 and 2. I may come back to them…

For anyone who wants to try and write a little this Elul, I jotted down some ideas. These are not in any order and are really just some things I threw together quickly in case people wanted to write but can’t get going on their own. A lot are slightly repetitive or cover the same content because I like approaching things from different angles. Feel free to add any good ones that you come up with!

What do you wish was different about yourself? When you imagine your own idealized version of yourself, what is different?

When was the last time that you did something that you were really proud of?

What does it mean to you to be called upon? How is it different to be held to a high standard by a parent, teacher, partner or Hashem?

What do you regret most from the past year? With this distance, what would you do differently?

What does forgiveness mean to you? What does it mean to forgive someone you love, or to ask for forgiveness from someone you love?

Are there people that you feel you need to ask forgiveness from? What is stopping you?

Are there people that you feel that you need to forgive? What is stopping you?

What role does procrastination play in your life? What role should it play?

What feeling is most acute right now? What currently brings you the most joy and the most pain?

What do you fear most right now? What would a bad year look like to you?

What are you hoping for this year? What would does your good and sweet new year look like?

Who or what do you feel distant from right now? What changes could you make to feel more connected?

What does it mean to you to be alienated from the Divine? Does it mean anything to you right now? What makes you feel closer to or farther from the Divine?

What does it mean to be grateful to have reached this season? What are you grateful to have experienced?

Update the poem Eishet Chayil so that it speaks to you personally? This can function either as inspiration or as a reflection of your current good deeds, so long as it feels relevant to you.

Have you inspired anyone this year? If someone you loved behaved like you, would you be proud?

Write a letter to your role model telling them what you respect about them and how they have made you a better person. You don’t need to send the letter to them, but you can if you feel comfortable with that.

How have you paid tribute to your loved ones? Are you satisfied with how you have honored them?

. What does it mean to ask for collective forgiveness in the Viduy? What does it mean to be responsible for each other?

Draw a large circle leaving room to write words inside and around the outside of the circle. Inside, write positive traits that you have, the moments when you acted right the first time and anything else that you are proud to take with you into the next year. Outside, write down things that you do that hold you back from being better, names of people who you would like to forgive, and other things that you would like to leave behind and not take into the new year.

Write a list of all of the pressing, negative feelings that you have. Write down grudges, fears and bad memories. Make sure to be clear and expressive. Now, burn it, tear it into pieces and throw it into a river, bury it or crumple it up and throw it away. Whatever will feel like letting it go.

Write an apology letter to someone you care for who has died or that you otherwise can’t apologize to. Consider bringing it to their grave or another place that reminds you of them, if possible.

What does it mean to apologize to Hashem? Why do we ask for Divine forgiveness?

Do you like thinking about Hashem as a Judge? As a Parent? What metaphor (if any) are you most comfortable with during the High Holy Days?

What does it mean to have a good year written? In what ways is your future affected by how good of a person you are?

Write a letter to Hashem. It can be an apology, thanks or anything else that you feel the need to share.

How comfortable are you with lying? Are your feelings and actions aligned?

Find a calm place and listen to the sounds around you. What do you hear? What does it mean to listen to yourself? To listen to the Shofar?

What does it mean to give tzedakah? How does charity/justice affect the way you like your life?

What does teshuva mean? What would you like to return to?

If you seldom hear, read, or listen to views that oppose your own, and if almost everyone you talk to sees the world just as your do, your thinking will grow flabby and intolerant. That is often the case with ideologues on the right and left, both in religion and in politics.

Tomorrow I am reading Torah for the first time.

When I was 15 years old, I ran away from home because I was pissed off at my parents for a reason I cant remember. I didnt have much money, so I decided to hop onto the skytrain(public transport train in British Columbia) and ride it as far as it would go. I reached the end of the line in less then an hour, and decided I wanted to ride it all the way back again, while trying to formulate some kind of plan of how I wanted to live the rest of my life without my parents or anyone. At the last stop, or the first stop depending on your perspective of it, a girl came on and sat in the row right behind me. I didnt pay much attention to her at first, as I was busy writing my life plan on a napkin. It was a few minutes later that she got up and came sat next to me, curious as to what I was writing. I told her the story, and after a few laughs, we began talking about everything and anything. Her name was Amanda, 17 years old, and absolutely wonderful. She told me she was getting off at the last stop, which was also the first stop, depending on how you look at it. It was also the stop I had gotten on originally, and I told her we would ride to it together. The train ride took less then an hour, and what a wonderful hour indeed.

When the last stop did come, we both knew we probably wouldnt see each other ever again(this was before the days of cellphones, and I was a shy little kid afraid to make moves). As we got to the end of the sidewalk which split in two different directions, she went right and I went left. Before saying goodbye she turned to me and asked me a question that has become a wonderful part of my life; she asked me, “Tell me something you have done, or want to do, that you think I should do? It can be anything, as challenging as you want it to be, or as easy. As long as you give me the rest of my life to complete it, I promise I will do it..” I was confused as to why, but I thought about it, and told her, “Sing a song acapella in a room full of strangers.” She said perfect and asked me if I would like a challenge as well. I told her I did, and she told me, “read, from start to finish, “Ulysses” by James Joyce.” I had never heard of it at the time, but I agreed, and we said our goodbyes.

I have a awful memory, and cant remember most conversations I have with most people. But I remember all of that clearly. You know why? Because of the challenge she gave me. In the 12 years that have past since, I have tried to read that book in over 150 different sittings. Everytime I open my copy of the 780 page monster of a book, I always think of her, and I always think of that day. Ive never been sure if it was her intent or not, but she left her lasting memory on me with that challenge. I soon after learned what she did, was a completey wonderful and amazing thing for me. So I decided to keep it going. Ive met a lot of strangers in my life; some that have become friends, and some, due to living in different time zones and whatnot, didnt. I dont want to just have experiences and then let them go. I want to remember these meetings, and embrace the fact that they happened. So whenever I leave someone who has left an amazing impact of my life, I always make sure to add them to my Ulysses Bucket List. I ask them to give me a challenge, as difficult or as easy as they want it to be, and regardless of the fact that they have done it or not; simply something their heart has had wanted to do.

Some have been easy and fun; I met a man in India 9 years ago who told me to, for a week or a month, cook/buy twice as much food as I intend on eating, and give the other half to a stranger in need. I completed that mission 8 years ago, and thought about that man and the time we had all the way through. I met a girl on a cruise 6 years ago, who told me to jump into a body of water on a slightly cold day, without touching or feeling the temperature of the water first. I did that the very same year. I met a couple at an outdoor music festival a few years ago that told me to wear the most bizarre outfit imaginable and walk through a public place, completely oblivious to the fact that you arent looking normal. I did that task the very next day, at the same festival. Some have been difficult, to say the least: three guys I met in Amsterdam and smoked all night with, told me to go to a mall and give 10 strangers 10 presents. That one took a lot of courage, but I did it a year or so after I met them. It was nerve racking, but at the same time exhilerating leaving my comfort zone. A girl I met on a plane told me to sky dive; Im still in the process of getting that done. A couple I met in Cali on the beach told me to tell the 5 people I hated the most, that I love them and respect them. That one was very difficult because of my stubborness, but ive come close to completing that list many a times(still in the process, 2 more people to go).

And some things, have had an everlasting impact on my daily life. I met a girl at a music festival, who told me that whenever I get mad at someone, walk away, sing my happy song in my head for 5 minutes, go back to the person im mad at with a clam heart and mind, and work things out. Ive made this my way of life. I once met a man at a gym in a hotel I was staying at, that told me “whenever your body and brain tells your that you are exhausted and done…use your heart instead and push out 2 more reps.” Ive made this my motto when working out or working on any kind of extrenuating exercise in which my body demands me to quit. I also use it while working on anything, and while studying. One of the best pieces of advice ive ever received.

There are many others that each brought joy to my life. There are still many tasks I have yet to accomplish, and everytime I think of these tasks, I think of the people that gave them to me. It amazes me how well I remember all these people, while I cant remember so many aspects of even yesterday. These experiences, not only do I take from them a “mission” or a “challenge”, I also take from them a memory of them that never fails to appear inside of my mind. I opened my Ulysses book for probably the 300th time yesterday, and read a few pages, which prompted me to share this story with you today. Im in the final 30 pages of the book, also known as the most dreaded of the read(in the last 40 pages or so, James Joyce doesnt use a single punctuation mark; no periods, no commas, no nothing; a straight 50 page run-on sentence).

SHTAR - PASSOVER SONG - So Decide

2) if you find out someone is a convert, you should act like you don’t know/treat them the same as you would every other jew (because that’s what they are)

3) if you do know someone is a convert: don’t ask them how, where, when, why they converted because it’s against halacha

4) don’t reveal someone’s convert status to others; it is against halacha

and i really can’t believe i have to write this, but:

[Edit: I saved this post as a draft a while ago, but wanted to finish the book first before recommending it. I know I jumped the gun a bit by suggesting in that other post, but am posting this now because it really deserves its own, I think!]

So I was looking up information on the Ziz after seeing this amazing art of it, and I found this series of posts about Judaic myth.

More importantly, however, I found the Worldmender Trilogy, and started reading its first installment, King of Shards. And it is SO. GOOD.

Complex, well-written diverse characters? Check!

A novel based on Jewish mythology and kabbalah written by a Jewish author? Check!

Excellent fantasy writing with good pacing and a fresh voice? Check!

Seriously, y’all should look into this if you haven’t read it yet. The trilogy isn’t finished, but it looks like the second book, Queen of Static is coming out in February.

calligraphic dragon

Torah, Germany ca. 1250-1299

BL, Add 21160, fol. 19r

Gorgeous! Although I should clarify that this is not a ‘Torah’ in the sense of a Torah scroll (where no decoration at all is permitted), but rather a vocalized Masoretic Torah codex, known more commonly (and correctly) as a humash.

The art of micrography, using miniature text to form decorative borders and figures, is one of the oldest Jewish art forms. In this case, the micrography uses the text of the Masorah, a collection of grammatical and orthographic notes on the Biblical text which basically nobody was reading anyway, so might as well make pretty designs!

This particular humash, known as the “Yonah Pentateuch,” has an extensive program of micrographic and decorative illustration throughout the book. Here are some more examples:

A noble hawking! If you’re interested, there’s a whole academic study of Jewish attitudes to hawking in the Middle Ages.

Decorated ‘inhabited’ letters, for the opening of Shemot [Exodus]:

A jousting knight! Here, have another academic article on images of knights in medieval Hebrew manuscripts.

Jonah and the fish, whence the name “Yonah Pentateuch”:

And finally, a stunning micrographic dragon-gate for the closing of the book of Europe:

the Tsene-rene (Tseno Ureno) or “women’s Bible”

the Folklore of Ashkenaz course at YIVO is well underway, and i’ll be making a point to share some of my favorite bits with everyone here when i get the chance! (i’m moving somewhat slow at the moment due to everything else in my life, but i’m working my way through)

the first unit mentioned the Tsene-rene (a Yiddish-language adaptation of the Tanakh, with commentary, written specifically for women) as a source of folklore and mysticism, and i’d love to get my hands on a translation. the name comes from a verse in the Song of Songs, Tze'nah ur-e'nah b'not Tziyyon (צְאֶנָה וּרְאֶינָה בְּנוֹת צִיּוֹן‎, “Go forth and see, O ye daughters of Zion”)