Hi, I'm Stephanie

[softly, but with a lot of feeling] what the fuck

sorry you haven’t seen much of me lately it’s just that everything in the whole world is overwhelming

If your wife has a friend that annoys you, don’t tell your wife to stop being friends with her. Just casually mention how pretty she is.

scared the shit out of me every time

my dad wants this to be played at the beginning of his funeral

reblogging again just for that omg

yo how much dirt you gotta throw in the ocean to make a new country

a soulmate is a person that won’t complain about any of my music when i put my ipod on shuffle

i complain about my own music when its on shuffle what are you talking about

love how kids introduce themselves like “hello im johnny im five years old i know how to read” yeah cool i didnt ask for your life story asshole

*CEO voice* quick put a rainbow on it so The Gays™ buy it.

can i try a 30 day free trial of being famous