The Road to Happiness

To Wong Foo Thanks for Everything, Julie Newmar (1995)

If you’re younger, you may not know Patrick Swayze; he was Taken From Us in 2009. But Patrick Swayze was an icon of masculinity. Men were willing to watch romantic movies because Patrick Swayze was in them.

Patrick Swayze was fucking beefcake.

And this man didn’t just agree to do a movie where the only time he’s not actually in drag is the first three minutes, which involve stepping out of the shower, doing make up, and getting Dressed. He has ONE LINE that is delivered in a man’s voice, and it’s not during those three minutes.

And if you watch those three minutes, you see a stark difference between his portrayal of Miss Vida Bohéme and Wesley Snipes as Noxeema Jackson. (I am not criticizing Snipes’ performance. They were different roles.) Noxeema was a comedy character. Chi-Chi was a comedy character. But Miss Vida Bohéme was a dramatic role, played by a dramatic powerhouse.

When Vida sits down in front of the mirror, she sees a man. And she doesn’t like it.

Then she puts her hair up, and her face lights up.

“Ready or not,” she says. “Here comes Mama.”

And while Noxeema is having fun with her transformation (at one point breaking into a giggling fit after putting on pantyhose), Vida is simply taking pleasure in bringing out her true self. And when she’s done, she sees this:

And you can FEEL her pride.

2007: deathly hallows has been released…. my childhood is over

2008: snape snape severus snape DUMBLEDORE

2009: omg fuck u twilight u suck hp ftw

2010: is it excessive to like 200 harry potter fan pages on facebook?? … nah

2011: deathly hallows part 2 has been released…. my childhood is over p.s DID YOU GET POTTERMORE BETA???

2012: I’ve spent the last 5 hours watching youtube videos of people getting sorted and freaking out when pottermore puts them in the wrong house

2013: why am I crying over the scarf of sexual preference?

2014: wow a lot of people in the harry potter youtube community are dickheads

2015: big up black hermione !!!!

2016: did I just pay £10 for a harry potter/back to the future crossover fanfic?

2017: so :) much :) discourse :)

2018: am I just sleep deprived or did the crimes of grindelwald make no sense?

2019: can’t believe AVPM is 10 years old and I still have a crush on every member of starkid

2020: why is jk rowling still here?