🎉💗🎉

going back to labubus. no one is actually into labubus. very few people care about the design or the character or the artist or any of it. labubus aren’t cool but HAVING a labubu is cool. it doesn’t matter what your opinion is about labubus but everyone has an opinion about having an opinion on labubus. if you like them you’re vapid and following a craze and trying to fit in. if you hate them you’re trying too hard to be contrarian and you hate fun and you’re being silly because it’s just a toy. you cannot win except by purchasing the thing that everybody can’t stop talking about talking about. and then you get articles like this:

and it’s like ohhh. okay. it was never about a hobby or the doll or even about the trend. it has always been about money. ok got it. thank you.

[Wayne standing outside barn]

WAYNE: Your good buddy came back from the city the other day…

[cut to produce stand]

KATY: Dary, you better tuck in that bottom lip before a bird comes by and poops on it.

DAN: Yeah Daryls, yer lookin a little perturbeds over there.

DARY: It’s just… I seen something when I was in the city.

WAYNE: Probably another brunch bistro, fuckin’ citiots.

KATY: $15 for a sandwich. Pull your finger outta your ass.

WAYNE: That’s what I said, I said pull your finger outta yer ass.

DAN: So what’s the rumpus, Grumpus?

DARY: One night I ended up at a club with Dan’s second cousint.

KATY: Who, Garrett?

DAN: No, Jarrett.

DARY: And on the dance floor at this club, we seen this quirked-up white boy.

[Wayne sits up in his chair]

WAYNE: Quirked-up… white boy?

DARY: Quirked-up white boy.

DAN: You means like a skid?

KATY: More like a methed-up white boy.

WAYNE: Quirked up… white boy.

DARY: White boy was quirked up.

DAN: Quirks Bentley?

KATY: The Quirks of Being a Wallflower.

WAYNE: Was he quirkin’ hard or… hardly quirkin’?

DARY: Oh, he was quirkin’ 9 to 5.

DAN: Probably wearings his Quirkenstocks.

KATY: No need for a knee-quirk reaction.

DAN: No swags though, that’s for sure.

WAYNE: Oh, there’s no way he had any swag, there’s no GODdamn way.

KATY: No swag on a quirked up white boy.

DARY: He had a little bit of swag.

KATY: Just a drill bit?

DARY: Just a horse bit.

DAN: Now Daryls, we all seen a quirked-up white boy with a TimBits of swag from time to times.

DARY: I know, but… it’s almost not worth thinkin’ about.

WAYNE: Get this guy a fuckin’ Puppers.

KATY: I shoulda packed a lunch for this.

DAN: Out with it, Dary.

DARY: My point is, he was busting it down sexual style.

[Wayne sits up again]

WAYNE: Busting it down… sexual style?

DARY: This quirked up white boy, with just bits and bites of swag, was busting it down sexual style.

DAN: How was it sexual styles?

DARY: I can’t really describe it. You know it when you see it.

KATY: Can confirm.

WAYNE: Katy…

KATY: I’m just saying, when you see a white boy bust it down, you can tell if it’s sexual style.

DAN: Y’know, Miss Katys, Professor Tricia says—

KATY: Withdrawn.

WAYNE: …sexual style.

DARY: It was definitely sexual style.

WAYNE: OK Dary. Dary, OK. So you’re saying… this was a quirked-up white boy… with 16-bit of swag… busting it down… sexual style.

DARY: Quirked-up white boy, with a mosquito bit of swag, busting it down sexual style.

DAN: Can’t say I see a problems here.

KATY: Figure it out.

WAYNE: That’s what I said, I said figger it out.

DARY: I AM trying to figure it out! And what I’m trying to figure out is…

KATY: Tick tock.

DARY: …is he goated with the sauce?

[Everyone sits up]

WAYNE: Goated… with the sauce.

DAN: Goateds with the sauce?

DARY: Goated with the sauce.

KATY: A quirked-up white boy… with a Ritz Bit of swag… busting it down sexual style… and you want to know if he’s goated with the sauce?

DARY: Almost not worth thinkin’ about.

WAYNE: Get this guy a fuckin’ Puppers.

DAN: Well, Daryls, given the evidence as laid out befores us… It seems fair to assumes he’s goated with the marinaras.

KATY: Goated with the Cholula.

DARY: So he’s goated with the chimichurri?

WAYNE: Goated with the Mae Ploy.

DAN: Low-sodium soys.

KATY: Rick and Morty Szechuan.

WAYNE: Goat-chujang.

DARY: Quirked-up white boy is goated!

KATY: Wonder if he’s single.

DAN: That’s goated if I ever seent it.

[cut back to Wayne in front of the barn]

WAYNE: …with the sauce.

three 'please draw my bike as a horse' commissions! breed choices and tack under cut:

My mom: "which one is moomin?"

Me: "the little white guy"