stay afloat;

✖ for a tattoo headcanon

☩ for a bedroom headcanon

The room that he currently holds is tiny and messy, filled with things that he's gathered over the years. Records and magazines litter the room but never truly find a home, as they are always being moved around. It's completely unkempt with clothes thrown about, although simply cluttered rather than dirty or messy. It smells faintly of cigarettes, as no matter what the time might be, there will always be wisps of nicotine-tinged smoke lingering in the air. It feels lived-in, homey. 

❀ for their favorite season

Out of all the seasons, Sirius tends to prefer autumn - simply because of how it feels like a true turn of the weather. It's like a symbolization of slow and new beginning, it's where everyone can actually be witness to the seasons changing. 

♬ for a song that fits them

r u mine? - arctic monkeys

✄ for a drunken headcanon

✢ for a good memory that makes them smile

The green and silver flags were hanging right above him, taunting him almost as he was herded into the hall with all of the other first year. He remembered his mother and  father’s words clearly as he looked up at the tapestries, the ones emblazoned with the same insignias and colors that decorated much of the decor in their home. This was it. This was the moment that showed him everything he needed to know. Not realizing that he was holding his breath until he heard his name ring out, the floppily dusty hat being held out towards him, Sirius climbed the steps towards the stool, holding his breath as the Sorting Hat was placed on his head.

With just the mention of his name, he knew that he was being set up to be placed in Slytherin. Andie, Bella and Narcissa were already placed there, his parents and every Black before him were Slytherins. What was to say that he wouldn’t be one to follow in those footsteps.

He didn’t feel like he belonged there in Slytherin. He was different from the rest of his family, always had been. It was something that he liked. If he was thrown in there with them, he’d end up like everyone else. But what did he really know. He shut his eyes tightly, still holding his breath.

[a broken hallelujah]; how do you mourn someone, when all you want is to survive [x]

Lighting his cigarette as he ducked out of The Three Broomsticks, Sirius tugged his jacket a bit tighter around him, shouldering the bag that he'd brought with him before crossing the way towards the supply room. With how often that he was escaping away to Hogsmeade, at some point Sirius had somehow been elected to doing supply runs and bring back whatever he had managed to find. Knocking twice at the door, he waiting a few moments, before twisting the doorknob and walking through. He didn't have the patience to stick around for someone to come and answer the door.

"Hello?" he called out, walking through the stacks that seemed to be dwindling with every time that he visited. He gave them one last glance, before continuing to walk along. Looking around the corner, he noticed Daisy checking over the stock. He paused, for a moment, before glancing down into his bag. "Uh, I've got some more supplies for you."

No place was truly safe during a war, that was one thing that Sirius was able to learn right from the start. There were always constant reminders around of what was happening right outside the walls, of the bloodshed and death and evil and the terrible things that were continuously happening. Of families being torn apart. Safety was a foreign concept, and would not be returned until the war was over. There was no place that he could go to truly find the comfort of what he remembered as safety, peacefulness. 

There was only one place that he could find solace in, seeking comfort away from everything that was going on around him. Sharing the flat with Remus gave him a reminder that there was more to life than just bloodties and rankings and the war that continued to rage on around them. It was just another brief glimmer of hope that there was still a chance for things to be normal. It was painfully simple, almost to the point that others might believe it to be monotonous. But to Sirius, it was normal. It was what he needed. It was probably one of the best years of his life so far. 

When horrible things are happening on a daily basis, when people you saw as friends are dying and disappearing without a trace, when strangers are becoming victims to a war that they had no part in - it becomes strange how much the simplest of things can make the biggest impact. Whether it was with Sirius trying to force Remus to listen to whatever Muggle music that he had heard was all the rage, or when Remus had almost burned the entire flat down during the first few times that he was trying to figure out how to cook, it was a way of forgetting. There was no need to worry about plans or Death Eaters, instead filling those empty spaces with tea and cigarettes and communal jumpers.

Everything was so much simpler then, and if Sirius could, he’d go back to when things were that easy, only he and Remus with nothing else around.

ღ for a drabble about a romance/their love life

Love was a complicated notion to Sirius, the idea never fully making any sense to him. He wasn’t sure if he had ever experienced it, though, despite his understanding of what the emotion truly felt like to receive. What he did know was that it was important and special, and sometimes a once in a lifetime chance of finding it. How one was supposed to find it, though, he wasn’t sure.

As the years passed on, Sirius attempted to try to find it wherever he could, but there was a slow realization that was he was finding wasn’t love. Frenzied snogs after hours in the common room weren’t love, rushed quickies in empty closets didn’t give him the feelings that he’d overheard from other people. Love was supposed to be about selflessness, love was about being happy just because you’re with someone no matter how bad everything else may seem… love wasn’t as confusing as it seemed. It was about doing what felt right in your heart, above any thing else.

Sirius Orion Black III Born November 20th, 1960; 20 years old (Scorpio) Ex-Member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black (Toujours Pur) Pureblood, Ex-Gryffindor

[+] loyal, charismatic, fearless, independent, dynamic, honest, intuitive

[-] headstrong, stubborn, promiscuous, lost, bitter, self-destructive, detached

THE BLOODLINE;

Mother: Walburga Black [location unknown] Father: Orion Black [deceased] Brother: Regulus Black [deceased]

FAMILY;

Sirius' relations with the rest of his family at this point is in no way easy. He was disowned by his mother for being a blood traitor and running away from home at the age of sixteen, something that was most likely made evident to the rest of the House of Black, and their views on the world are something that he has never agreed with. However, under the circumstances of what the world has fallen into, nothing is ever truly black and white anymore. The loss of his brother hit him harder than he expected, and he can't imagine going through a loss of anymore of them.

NARCISSA MALFOY: Sirius’ relationship with his cousin Narcissa is something that even he doesn’t understand. Things had always been tense between the two of them and he can remember the way she turned her back on him once he was disowned from the family. But now he is finding himself more and more in contact with her, having conversations that don’t lead to screaming matches, and even laughing. It feels nice to have another member of his family back in his life but Sirius is uncertain if he can allow himself to fully care about her. After all, she too has changed, and they stand on opposite sides of the war.

ANDROMEDA BLACK: Andromeda is the only member of his family that Sirius remotely cares about anymore. While they were raised under the same rules and expectations, they were also both able to break away from their family and find their own place in the world. Even if she might not has chosen a side during the war, Sirius knows that his cousin means well, and for that alone he has a high sense of respect for her. While the two of them are not exactly the closest, he hopes that maybe once everything is done and over with, their relationship as cousins can continue to blossom and the two of them can be there for one another. 

BELLATRIX LESTRANGE: Where he looks at Andromeda and Narcissa and can feel something remotely akin to genuine care, all he sees when he looks at Bella is a shadow of his mother - everything that stands for the idealism that he was raised to loathe and hate with every fiber of his being. Bella is just another Death Eater in his eyes, and as much as he tries to look to her and see that she is still his family, it's impossible. She's made it clear where her priorities lie, and now so much he. 

FRIENDS; 

Sirius has no trouble making friends. Growing up, the notorious bad reputation that he managed to accrue gave him a sense of popularity in corridors of Hogwarts, making it easy for people to either love him or hate him. However, the only company that he chose to surround himself during this time was the Marauders, as they accepted him for who he was, not caring about his blood status, or the life that he had left behind. He is an intensely loyal friend, almost to the point of foolishly so. 

↳ w a n t e d: New acquaintances, drinking and smoking buddies, all kinds of friends.

JAMES POTTER: Sirius would do anything for James, meaning that in the most literal sense possible. They have been close since they met, clicking with such an ease that they became practically inseparable from that point on. However, over the past months, things have slowly fallen off kilter between the two of them, and Sirius knows that he's partly to blame for it. The death of Regulus hit him harder than he could've imagined, and he is afraid that people will begin to see that. He realizes that it's beginning to take a toll on all of his relationships with people, but James especially, as he's beginning to put a distance between the two of them. 

EMMELINE VANCE: A spy was exactly what they needed and when Emmeline was made it, Sirius knew that she would need someone to pass along the information to her. There was almost a school boy feeling to it, passing along top secret things that would be crucial and help them. In a way it made him feel like he was back at Hogwarts passing along the information but as time passed, he realized just how important it was and he suddenly found himself feeling rather protective of her. Knowing that if she was ever found out, it could mean death for her, and Sirius made sure to take every precaution that he could on his end to ensure her safety.

ROMANTICS;

The concept of love is one that is lost on Sirius, perhaps one that has always been a puzzle to him. He has no idea what it means, because when he thinks about it, he's not sure if he's ever felt it. With a reputation for being a flirt that stretches all the way back to his time at school, he has no problem flirting or charming his way into a random stranger's bed for the night. It simply started as a way to enjoy himself while still finding a way to annoy his mother, but it slowly developed into a habit. For that short period of time when he's with someone, that rush of intimacy that occurs, it's in the brief moments that Sirius truly feels desired. 

↳ w a n t e d: Past relationships or rejections, or potential current flings. Sirius most likely kept himself busy during his time at school, so there's bound to be people that he would've slept around with (or gotten turned down by)~

REMUS LUPIN: Sirius has always felt  a certain closeness with Remus, one that was much different than what he had for James. And now it still rings true, if anything, what he feels from Remus is only growing more and more by the day. There is nothing more that he longs for than stolen moments alone with Remus, when it’s just them and no one else. Something feels so right about it and he has found himself craving for those times with just the two of them more often than not. Had it not been for his fellow Marauder, Sirius isn’t quite for sure who he would be or what he would have done over the years. The death of Regulus had taken more of a toll on him than Sirius could have ever imagined and while he kept to himself and shut most people out, he still found himself letting Remus in. Though his mourning is even beyond Sirius’ own comprehension, it still doesn’t stop him from grinning like a fool or giving a playful shove to Remus when he is around. But of course the worry for Remus is always there as well, wanting to take care of him but not be overbearing at the same time.

ENEMIES;

Harboring feelings of resentment during the end of the world seems to be a foolish ting to do, but Sirius isn't perfect - he holds grudges, he gets angry, he likes to take revenge on people who he feels have done him wrong. As he is completely and devoutly loyal to those that he truly cares about, crossing them is just as bad as crossing him. 

↳ w a n t e d: More enemies. I don't care if they're past or present, but just give them to me. Sirius is bound to have annoyed someone in the past~

€ for a bad memory that still haunts them

He had fallen out of contact with Regulus almost immediately after he left home, finding it harder and harder to speak to him during the last two years that he was at Hogwarts. No matter how many times that Sirius had tried to reason with his brother, explain to him that this was the way things needed to be for the best, Regulus had spat out angry words at him as Sirius tried to speak to him in the corridors, things like coward and abandoner. 

Following his departure from school, he knew nothing of what was happening with his brother, despite his best efforts to try and keep some tabs on what was going on with him. No matter what the sides were, or what Regulus may have thought of him, Sirius refused to give up on his own brother. He was not his parents, he was never going to turn into them and simply push his own flesh and blood aside for the choices that they had chosen to make. Regulus was the good son, always had been. Regulus was the one who had lived up to the family’s expectations and had followed in the footsteps that Father had laid out for him since birth, and was the one received Mother and Father’s love, but at what cost? What would Regulus have to pay? 

It was a shot in the dark, Sirius trying to contact Regulus, but the war was growing darker, the outlook becoming more and more grim.  He realized that there was not much that he could say to convince his brother out of the decision he had made, but by now, that was of little importance to him, at least compared to Regulus’ well-being. It took all of him to not plead with his brother to leave the Death Eaters, to turn around and not look back - but he knew that was a death wish. At a time like this, there was no turning back.

Regulus had only laughed at him, mocking him and his worry for his family now, before going on to paint a truthful picture of how uninterested he was with his family for the years prior. I am my father’s son, Regulus reminded him callously, and you are nothing but a deserter. And I plan to serve my family well. 

There was not much to say in return, as he couldn’t argue with that. Regulus was simply living up to the Black family legacy, and who was Sirius to tell him not to. He had no place to devalue that anymore, considering that he was the one to abandon the people who were supposed to be his family. 

"Do not lose who you are, brother - Regulus. Do not forget that in the midst of everything else. You are more than just a pawn in this army, and I hope you realize that at some point.” It was all that Sirius could manage to say in reply, not waiting for any bit of a response as he turned and walked away, the deeply confused look on his brother’s face etched his mind forever.