The Smell Of Ozone And Wind

This girl has clearly never read any Heterodyne stories. They thrive on breaking the laws of physics. Agatha’s Grandfather likes to invite enemies in and yell ‘Surprise!’. Do your research.

I feel like Klaus sometimes deeply regrets opening a school. Especially one for Sparky kids.

Though it’s hilarious his first instinct is asking if they’re okay when they just did the equivalent of knocking over a nuclear bomb. You can just hear the ‘longsuffering parent who’s put up with this so long he’s used to it.”

People should stop talking about Jägers not being sneaky because like. Look at this scene. Lars doesn’t even bring them up as an option or a risk and neither does Abner. In fact they’re intensely startled to see them.

That means Da Boyz left the town, changed clothes, snuck back in the town, and then fucking sat down on top of the wagon where nobody noticed them. Possibly right in front of the guards.

Like nobody walks on Snailer Street. You go around or adapt various hijinks to avoid touching the street itself like anti gravity boots. And tourists think it’s the citizens playing up their weird angle, but no, Lord Eobny five centuries ago once turned that specific street into a breeding ground for land piranhas and Mechanicsburg still treats it the same way.

And if you step on this one specific trilobite in front of the cathedral, you have to run and touch another Very Specific Trilobite or otherwise your house will burn down. Because three centuries ago, the Castle decided it wanted to screw with people and would actually set houses on fire.

Name any tradition and a Heterodyne absolutely caused it (oo, what traditions does Agatha cause?)

I like how Klaus doesn’t pick up on the fact that the Heterodyne girl is NOT dead because otherwise the Jägers would be fucking rioting after losing the best possible heir. I mean, maybe he didn’t kill her himself but he did knock out a Jäger and drove her off the ship.

If Agatha has died, the Jägers would definitely not be the equivalent of “oh well too bad. That’s chill.”

I love this scene so much because like. It comes off as super intimidating but look at those smiles. The Jägers are like yeeeeessss you’re doing great sweetie, we’ll burn down the world for you.

Artemis Fowl Fans: Vinyaya. The Queen. Vinyaya, the councilwoman, official badass, and commander of Section 8. Why do you even ask? The answer is Vinyaya.

Disney: Look! We genderbent Captain Root! Perfect!

Artemis Fowl Fans: