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@starlightstruckdown

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Trista Mateer, from a poem featured in her collection titled The Dogs I Have Kissed
And inevitably Tuesday’s gone as quickly as the wind blows
Yet, the imprint of a moment in its purity will so beautifully remain
It’s these moments that so unexpectedly weave the story of our lives
Life is what happens in between the moments we plan for
It’s these moments that you couldn’t ever possibly plan let alone imagine
These alone make all the rest worth every second
<3
What a privilege to outgrow the version of you that settled for less than you deserved.
What YOU Are To Me
Your the moon to my evening sky
Infinite starlight shining close by
The North Star leading me homeÂ
When the storm found me all alone
Where my soul finds refuge, putting my mind at easeÂ
Gentle like the caress of a midnight breeze
Nights full of snuggles
Pillow talk and cuddles
I choose to stay in your arms, held tight
Leaving no room for unwelcomed frightÂ
Nowhere else on earth this free
Not a single place I’d rather be
My heart always knew what I didn’t see
Your touch sparks the light within me
Creating synchronous nedergy unbound
A place endless pure love was found
A place I thought I once knewÂ
Until I uncovered the magic that is youÂ
So Should you ever falter or drift
I will find you by the light you emit
Emanating without your control
Resonating deep penetrating my soul
It shines through every part of you
So bright it draws me right to you
@devinetheory-2
Battered Yet So Perfectly Blended
Your presence steadily  mended
All of the past scarsÂ
I hid behind the invisible bars
I kept. Around my heart
Strong as steel from the start
The cold nights no longer bothered me
Nights filled by your warm body wrapped around me
Our roots grew fast and strong soon turned to vines
Our mind body and soul effortlessly became intertwined
Safety for the first time
Vanished all doubts in my mind
The first time I felt pain
Shock can best explain
Usually I’m on guard for
Wasn’t even on my radar
Time has moved this behind us
Still fighting for my heart to catch up
It’s a tug of war each day
Endless perfection of love dancing with
Creeping uncertainty I hideÂ
And it Has remained, buried deep insideÂ
I try to go back to what we wereÂ
Solid in every way but with thorns I watch forÂ
The beauty of a rose remains
The sweet smell entertains
The color so intense, it keeps my attentionÂ
your petals softly whispers in silence we don’t mentionÂ
I hear everything unspoken, pretending my stem isn’t broken
And somehow your touch still melts me theough and through
Always Craving the caress I’ve become addicted toÂ
I can’t help myself, your touch is healingÂ
My eyes still holding back unsafe feelings
It mever seemed to matter what we went through
Together So strong, your my best friendÂ
And from the beginning grew into a diamond  bondÂ
Yet even the most brilliant diamond carries specs of darkness
Praying your light extinguishes them out
Trying to evict them is harder done than saidÂ
Betrayal of any kind had a way of lingering behindÂ
Did I allow the bars to fall away too soon
All I want is to feel that purity, safety and certainty again
Afraid it was lust followed by moments of pretendÂ
I’m struggling with my ability to shake this offÂ
My warm safe blanket was tossed
And once I became cold again
The fears crept right inÂ
Like I invited themÂ
My only defenses weren’t on guard that afternoon
Suddenly showing up was voluntary security for my soul
They must be terrified of me losing control
When unwavering love comes along
And suddenly doesn’t show up one day ,Â
It’s like the ground under my feet sank
quick sand that was faster then I ever thoughtÂ
All I want is to feel that purity, safety and certainty again
Afraid it was lust followed by moments of pretendÂ
I’m struggling with my ability to shake this offÂ
My warm safe blanket was tossed
And once I became cold again
The fears crept right inÂ
Like I invited themÂ

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Unheard Screams
My unheard screams
Held me frozen except in my dreams
Needing an escape each night I’d pray
Fallen victim, battered and bruised I’d lay
Confined, no way out, or so it seemedÂ
When you appeared with a soul that gleamed
A stranger one day, my saving grace the next
When I trusted no one, your presence felt safe and blessed
One day I made the decision to confide in you
Unsure how or what you’d say or do
Instinctively I trusted you
A kindred soul, safe and true
Why and how did u believe in this stranger over your friend?
Unexplainable yet I felt you, I couldn’t pretend
Daydreams of my escape all led to you
Not sure how I’d get there, instinctively I just knew
You were always meant to be the oneÂ
I saw my angel fly to me as high as the sun
You did what no one else could or would do
You saw through the bullshit until I landed with you
Love doesn’t express what’s felt in the depths of my soul
The last year threatened to break me as it took control
I didn’t even know if you’d take me seriouslyÂ
Until the day you called the welfare check for me
Feeling immediately touched, moved, in shock, full of emotion
I now believed you were true, worthy of my devotion
Giving me courage I knew I had but couldn’t see
You led me back to where I was supposed to be
Now your my rock, my safe place my manifestation come true
Your the forever and always my soul recognized and intuitively knew
Stay by my side, my protector, my lover, my friend
My loyalty will never endÂ
I also see you, I can’t pretendÂ
My unexpected loveÂ
My angel sent from aboveÂ
@devinetheory-2
Around Your Heart - Will Lowry
Let me disarm you, I'm not trying to own you I just want to know what it feels like to have your body so close Let me absolve you of the past that controls you I just want to know what you look like Without a weight on your soul [Witt Lowry:] Yeah, said you'll find what you're looking for when you stop looking All of your exes were lessons and You talk about them again, you keep on settling Wonder if love is the pain or the medicine You never let it in, well I guess it's your right But fake has been never my type And I didn’t build up this wall over night See, I wanted more than just lust for the night Then you came in my life You're you, you're different than them I'm used to them playing pretend I'm used to "You're only a friend" Fell deeper each letter you send I'm questioning love and again I'm questioning when it will end Then till I break and my heart don't break even I want this for longer than only a season And you didn't break me, you You came to pick up the pieces No you never hear it, but you is who I believe in No one ever perfect, but you are perfect to me and Lately I'm believing in love, you are the reason I'm talking to my angels above, wish you could meet 'em Wish I could see 'em one more day Just to hear his voice tell me everything is okay Just to show him that his son is here invoking a change To hear him laugh when I tell him about the stories he made Pretending like I'm okay I'm broken and you know it Building up a wall, I'll never show it Grabbing on my face, told me focus You're not the only one that's been broken I'm hoping you open up, I thought what? Thinking that I'm always open, but I realize I was swollen shut There's more to us, there's more to love than surface lust The surface front and tonight I might spill my guts She said [Kaskade:] Let me disarm you There's an army I'm fighting around your heart Let me disarm you Cause baby I just want to love who you really are So let me disarm you There's an army I'm fighting around your heart Let me disarm you Cause baby I just want to love who you really are [Witt Lowry:] And I love it when you take it all off for me You laugh and I sense that you're insecure Can't tell what he did before To make you feel like you less, you're more Your clothes are floored Guess I gotta glass full of feelings that I over poured And I can't handle my liquor We get love drunk and we keep getting sicker I tell you you're worth it, then something gets triggered You start crying, like "Mark why you lying?" Your beautiful body, you mine You're rolling your eyes, I get that you're trying See, lately my heart is surrounded by lines But if you have time, I would love for you to bear with me Look up at the stars and just stare with me Travel around the world through the air with me I just wanna be with someone that'll care with me Bear with me when it all comes crumbling down You pick up all the parts of me you see on the ground I gave him all of me and he was fucking around Look longer than now, see how I post a pic and they pounce, damn I know you're feeling distant Saying men are all the same, I can tell you different No I don't deserve a chance, but you're down to listen A broke rapper with a dream and a grand vision I'm damn driven and you know that I'm believing in you You focus on the things you said you never could do You focus on the drama, all you need is the truth And you to see what I see in you, if only I could too I don't want to be a memory Want to wake up and see you next to me Want to dream big, embed legacy I know I'm more than open sesame But if you want to break the door, you get the best of me That's when you said to me Yeah, that's when you said to me [Kaskade x2:] Let me disarm you There's an army I'm fighting around your heart Let me disarm you Cause baby I just want to love who you really are Let me disarm you Cause baby I just want to love who you really are Who you really are
When Our Minds Meet
A mystical mind meets cunning
Together they Never stop runningÂ
Just Take a pill
Making me still
Until the intuition kicks back on
Forever seeing what’s about to be gone
Patterns seem to be unavoidable
With all the love next to me
One moment I feel every vibe
Wondering do I simply fill that need
The same one I’m eager to feed
Please Catch me when I fall
Especially when it’s my thoughts that run wild
A love like this so rare
Brings with it a  complicated scare
Hold me tight the only way I know how to feel safejus
Let mefeel your body against mine that I so crave
Sometimes Reckless inhibitions drive me
That when I need you to be free, with me
Join my chaos while grounding me
The way you once found me
Is love perhaps just a dream, a delusional belief? Or is it for real? Do dreams come true? If so, then let us dream. Let us run away, away from this world and create our own, a place where it's just you and me, a place to call home. Am I being delusional, is it too much to ask for?
Fall
Words on paper, blank and white
Cannot see them, yet they bite
Eyes that speak unending novelsÂ
Without voicing any vowelsÂ
Hands that hold unending wealthÂ
Cannot manifest good healthÂ
In our psyche lives a being
Who’s all knowing and all seeing
Let it be, unleash controlÂ
Don’t be scared if you shall fall
After every silent tear
One less thing you’ll start to fear
©12.17.2025 - MyPoeticSoulNy(-mps)

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Fallen Angel
From my angel to a friend fallen into a love I never thought I’d feel
Trusting the process, believing we both wanted something fucking real
Knowing each other from flesh to our pasts, understanding trust is a big deal
The love followed the connection effortlessly like magic
I wasn’t prepared for the joker to pull a hat trick
My tears fall to the paper as you bail
Now alone, frozen, colder than icy hail
Pain lies deeper than the ocean floor
I thought you’d protect my heart, now ruthlessly tore
Lies coming from the same soft lips that kiss me goodnight
As you look in my eyes while pulling me into you so tight
A deep love uncomfortably resides within me
I can’t escape the pain that I was beginning to set free
Why was the truth so damn hard for you to fight
My protector, I thought we’d have it all, me your sun and you baby my light
Shot in the chest, seems my heart can’t get any rest
Scared and alone, I turn to see it was my fallen angel holding the gun
Paralyzed by shock and pain, unable to run
Blindsided, like blowing through a stop sign
Tonight my prescription begins with a bottle of wineÂ
You kill mv soul slowly as I now see months of lies
You’ve lied with me watching my intense cries
Promising truth while staring into my eyes
How could you look me in the eyes
And simultaneously keep on the lies?
No remorse as you feel my cries
We’ve come so far just to break the most impossible part
Our foundation once so strong falling apart
Cautiously I had let love in as he dissolved the hard parts
The walls around my heart crumbled and came apart
Me, so cautious thinking Im prepared for anything as I’m so damn smart
How did I allow him to penetrate my heart
Soul shattering, my heart just like the glass on the floor
Lying in pieces, he walks right over me to the door
My soul’s only company is from the hotel lamp nights before
I truly believed I was the only one he adored
Or so I thought…blinded by my love for him, I never saw the impending stormÂ
My mind body and soul now caught in the downpourÂ
Lying in pieces like the lamp on the floor
We’ve come so far to knowingly keep on with the lies
Trust and love all a disguise
Realizing the lies after his continuous denies
he tries so hard to turn every around on me
So easy to have told me the truth from the start
Instead telling her you love her while lying in bed with me from the start
Reading every word I saw the lies
I soon realized parts of my poem were inspired by his muse
The pictures put me over the top
Flesh exposed, the denials wouldn’t stop
Why was it so hard to love and respect me
Confused by this pain you aren’t here to see
I’m undone, broken once again
I crawl back under the covers for protectionÂ
Too weak to pick up the pieces todayÂ
Here in bed I think I’ll stay
All I wanted was you and only you
Unsure of anything anymore that I thought was true
It’s never been about past relations
Its the lies to my specific questionsÂ
How could you say you’re truthful as you pretend?
I thought you were my best friend!
Unheard Screams
My unheard screams
Held me frozen except in my dreams
Needing an escape each night I’d pray
Fallen victim, battered and bruised I’d lay
Confined, no way out, or so it seemedÂ
When you appeared with a soul that gleamed
A stranger one day, my saving grace the next
When I trusted no one, your presence felt safe and blessed
One day I made the decision to confide in you
Unsure how or what you’d say or do
Instinctively I trusted you
A kindred soul, safe and true
Why and how did u believe in this stranger over your friend?
Unexplainable yet I felt you, I couldn’t pretend
Daydreams of my escape all led to you
Not sure how I’d get there, instinctively I just knew
You were always meant to be the oneÂ
I saw my angel fly to me as high as the sun
You did what no one else could or would do
You saw through the bullshit until I landed with you
Love doesn’t express what’s felt in the depths of my soul
The last year threatened to break me as it took control
I didn’t even know if you’d take me seriouslyÂ
Until the day you called the welfare check for me
Feeling immediately touched, moved, in shock, full of emotion
I now believed you were true, worthy of my devotion
Giving me courage I knew I had but couldn’t see
You led me back to where I was supposed to be
Now your my rock, my safe place my manifestation come true
Your the forever and always my soul recognized and intuitively knew
Stay by my side, my protector, my lover, my friend
My loyalty will never endÂ
I also see you, I can’t pretendÂ
My unexpected loveÂ
My angel sent from aboveÂ
@devinetheory-2
Wreakage or Ravage
Mesmerized by your smile and eyes, you captured my heart
Didn’t know you were an expert at breaking me apart
Thirsty for more but unable to convey
I always thought by my side you would stay
Restless and moody, I see through your veil
You say you want it all, but again you sail
Why do I stay, you continuously ask
Because my heart sees past the mask
I couldn’t ever turn my back on a once in a lifetime love
Even when my emotions bury me deep, I will rise above
My love, my soul is real, don’t leave me to fall down
I see your dichotomy, sometimes you wear the crown
Unexpectedly, my magical king becomes my despair
Leaving me to wonder is it ever really fair?
Can you ever see my feelings before yours
How long can you stand in the rain as it pours?
We can choose to have nothing left to give
Or create our own heaven and begin to live
I am confused by you
Misunderstood by your view
Compelled to stay by your side
As my soul simultaneously cries
Caught up in your lack of transparency
You’re good at turning it around on me
When will your unselfish love return to me
I had believed that the unconditional found me
It slowly escapes my grasp
As you see me only through my past
It’s all from MY trauma you claim
Do you even know my name?
I’m much stronger than you can see
Proving you don’t really know me
Only half of my pain have I shared
Knowing you’re not ready to see it all bared
My pillow stays stained as my tears continue to fall
When you turn away from me as I desperately call
If only you knew what I was made of
Youd understand why I fly above
Above the bullshit, I am unapologetically me
I will not change myself because you can’t see
I’ve made it this far relying on my own sense
I don’t understand why you continue to second guess
You were not there, you can’t possibly see through my lens
I’ve come this far without compromising my mind, body and soul
I will always be authentically me until the day it takes its toll
And even then, I can’t be anything other than free
If only you understood the essence that made me
Transition is here, decisions are rushing toward us
Praying we will have the strength to trust
In need of renewed faith, let’s drop our gate
Before we destroy what is divinely designed fate
Waiting for the End
It stays all inside my head
Made from sleeping alone in bed
Wondering and waiting why?
Not even dating so don’t tryÂ
Feelings of scare, bringing in 2 more unfair
Too much pain to care
3 of you now, how you dare?!
All alone or so it feelsÂ
I take what they deal
So much I’ve already faced
But all I can taste
Bittersweet tears of saltÂ
Pressures of wondering is it my fault!
Lessons never learnedjj
Yet how much I continue to burn
A secret kept deep inside
Buried while I hide
Make it go away
But you all just want to playÂ
I say over and over again
The strength to beat if I can
Time floats by so slowÂ
If I scream will you go?!
Scared and unsure why it’s you?
The picture that my mind plays throughÂ
Nothing mattered at the timeÂ
Cigarettes and cheap wine
Who do I turn to now
Bent over in a bow
Battered and bruised
Feeling so used
Waiting for someone to emerge
Praying for the strength to surge
I’ve been here before
I tell myself once more
The blood stains will fade
But the emotional pain is forever made
And I’m still here
To tell of the fear
It’ll be okay
Wait just one more day
Photo credit- banksy art

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch • No registration required • HD streaming
Passion and Pain
A heart once so open and free
Chained up, and only you have the key
We are Magical, beyond my dreams
my forever , far beyond what it seemed
Every part of you resonates with me
Finally close enough to Break me free
This connection  is irreplaceable as the starsÂ
Infinite times over,  wouldn’t touch ours
I Met my match, I felt you to my core
Angels couldn’t of dreamt up more
Souls intertwined destined to be oneÂ
Two Hearts wildly in sync  just as the sun
While minds played quiet, at first stayed backÂ
Our Brains looking through a trauma filter attack
Self awareness intelligence all goes out the window when you love like you never thought.Â
You don’t know what you don’t know until experience taught.Â
That old glimpse of the ptsd pattern recognition in full effect.Â
When you love someone this much I never realized the intense effect.Â
Suddenly I feel things I haven’t in years.Â
Lost all control of my emotions in a  crash of my fears
Relentlessly Playing on my basic emotions over and over again.Â
The smallest of a perceived betrayal is no consolation for the deep heartache within.Â
How could I ever imagine my life without you
I never thought I’d find youÂ
Now that I did, life would seem meaningless without youÂ
Such a place to be in, feeling so Intensely for the first time in my lifeÂ
No one ever told me emotions like this were dressed in lace but cut sharp as a knife.
I must not have felt love like this before
 Never felt beat down by the rising of the shore
Battling the shackles that guard my heart
Chaining it up again while simultaneously tearing them apart
What was once our demons we were forced to fight alone
We now battle together as we rediscover the inner strengths we have grown.
It’s like an avalanche I never saw coming, finding my way through the icy snow, the wind knocout of me, I eventually come up for air, the cold numbs every inchAnd unburying myself took time. Why is it always easier to get hurt than to recover? The heart is fragile, if Isoi have only learned that before it was love I did discover.
e.