fancy garbage

I got a whole lot of mental illness hangin out inside me

wHO DID THIS.

adhd just makes your really bad at capitalism, unfortunately

like bro i am just floating in a bubble detached from the flow of time and you want me to work 8 hour shifts?

I am built to sit up from sundown to sunup with minimal food and less light watching for intruders or little animals that I can kill. That requires very little of what would actually be called work and a whole lot of just zoning out because my eyes and ears are naturally attuned to picking up and focusing on changes to the environment. I am not built for the 9 to 5 office world, Janet. Unless your job requires me to persistence hunt Mark for sport.

Currently looking for jobs that let me hunt Mark in accounting for sport

I think if you're going to be weird on purpose you have to offset it with being nice. If you're weird and mean I'm going to hit you with a shovel

the overwhelming grief of losing an entire year to sickness, violence and pandemic fatigue is settling in so id like to remind everyone that: you are not a failure, yes there is still a happy future for you, and wearing a mask is very sexy

In fifth grade a boy tried to impress me by swallowing a whole tadpole live and I punched him so hard that he puked and the tadpole was fine.

This is funnier than anything I have ever said.