Hikari

I just want my girl to happily grow old and have a cat and her own apothecary shop where she can do all kinds of experiments she wants until the day she dies.

While Maomao is like:

They allowed her to stay, and in some ways, they gave her more independence than most girls typically received during that time.

In The Apothecary Diaries, Maomao didn’t have the luxury of being a child. There wasn’t anyone she could turn to when she was scared when she was lost, when she was hurt. Anyone to wipe away her tears, anyone to tell her she was loved and wanted.

That’s why she is what she is, why she’s become so independent, why she doesn’t turn to other people for comfort, why she uses logic and distance as a defense. Not that she doesn’t feel. It’s just that she learned a long time ago that feelings wouldn’t help her.

So, when we meet Maomao in the present timeline of The Apothecary Diaries, she’s not exactly the kind of person who shows her vulnerability. She’s super smart, very observant, and very skilled, but she kinda keeps an emotional distance from those around her. And honestly, I get it. If you grow up where nobody pays attention to your feelings, you just stop hoping that anyone will care.

Her trauma manifests in subtle ways: her reluctance to depend on others, her tendency to downplay her own suffering, and her deep-rooted self-sufficiency that sometimes borders on self-isolation. It’s not that she doesn’t want to be cared for. She is just accustomed to living in a world where care is a luxury, not a given.

So, it’s all too easy to view Maomao as merely another emotionally withdrawn protagonist, but she’s much more than that. Her trauma is embedded within every aspect of her personality, shaping her behaviors, her interactions, and her perspective.

Her experience has taught her that attachments are conditional, and she naturally keeps people at arm’s length. However, Jinshi’s persistence in treating her with respect and curiosity is something she isn’t used to. While she doesn’t openly express it, the fact that she doesn’t completely push him away speaks volumes about her yearning for connection, even if she won’t admit it.

1) She gets rid of pests

Fic version here!

You can read an extended version of this fancomic here on ao3.

I wrote that fic and drew this fancomic as a thank you for 2k followers but it took me a long time to finish it so now it's more than 2k. At my speed, if I start another fancomic now, maybe I'll make it in time for 3k followers 😆

Anime hair, baby! Is he about to sing in a rock concert or what. 90/10

"I just woke up" face and hair. Will we ever get such a Twilight in canon. Give me freshly woken up Twilight, Endo-sensei, I am begging. 130/10

A fine upstanding gentleman. 160/10

You said it yourself babe, this is the Clark Kent of Twilight. 1000/10

He has those little tufts of hair on the back of his head that he buzzes off as Loid and WE WERE ROBBED because now it cannot be canon for Yor to brush her fingers through it when she kisses him unless he grows them back DO YOU UNDERSTAND MY PAIN

5000/10

I love how he doesn't understand why Anya would want to sleep hugging her favourite plush but still doesn't try to persuade her out of doing so. His method of not attracting attention seriously but accidentally gives him a lot of Good Dad qualities. 99/10

He just wants to sleep. Gotta fix the penguin, tho. Responsible/10

When you experience the HorrorsTM. 3253/10

What have I gotten myself into?

I will not grow feelings. I will not grow feelings.

As I am to answer this I realize I haven't saved a lot of the official art, lol, so I'll have to search a bit to remember the ones I like most.

But I do have my top one saved already, so here!

Episode 3 key visual

While I definitely don't think it's actually fitting for the third episode of the anime, (those three were still too awkward with each other and there's no way homeboy was smiling so warmly and genuinely at that point) I still find it such a sweet image with such warm colours and expressions on their faces. I even like Anya's :D face which I usually dislike in anime promotional material. But yeah, them sitting under the cherry tree looking so calm and happy... it makes me happy :D

2. Poster for the first season

I actually find this pretty iconic. The family taking a casual stroll down the road, Yor holding Anya's hand because Loid's too much of an emotionally constipated dumbass to do so, though he's smiling at Anya. And their reflections, within the shadows, with their true identities and serious faces as they look away from Anya. I like it both as a visual and as representative of the show's story.

Points taken for bad trigger discipline, though. Yeah I zoomed in and checked 😂

3. Episode 25 key visual

Now that is a poster fully representing the episode. I like how imposing and looming Desmond is, with a creepy purple aura around him... and how small Twilight looks in comparison. Desmond looks down on Twilight, who looks up at (not to) him, determined to crack him open. And as with their whole exchange, you're kinda scared for Twilight and his safety after meeting him. Of course, Twilight stands his ground and prepares himself for everything, but Desmond's narrowed, suspicious eyes in the background say a lot about not only how he suspects him, but also how little he thinks of this Loid Forger.

4. Yor in the Garden

Not only does Yor look cute in her assassin dress, I also like the use of the muted colours, with particular focus on the roses in front of her. This is the Shopkeeper's garden, and Yor, symbolized by the roses, is the best weapon in his arsenal. I do have to wonder if the muted colours is any hint towards the Shopkeeper's character, cause if you've known me long enough you'll know I don't trust this dude at all.

5. SOUVENIR special illustration

I think this was released as a jacket for the SOUVENIR single? But yeah, it has such bright and warm colours, Anya holds both her parents' hands and (along with Bond) leads them on, while the lens flare focuses on her. She literally brought light into their lives.

A couple more honourable mentions from Endo's art, like his celebratory art for reaching 5.5 million copies sold of the manga, and Anya as a flower girl in celebration for the announcement of her VA, Atsumi Tanezaki's marriage.

This is my Secret Santa gift for Katty on The Writers Discord Server.

The prompt is "the Forger family in a snowball fight" ❄⛄